Monday, October 21, 2024

The Review: Mr. Crocket


Mr Crocket 6/10


L and I watched this movie that we meant to watch a week ago called Mr. Crocket. I have a lot of random stuff to say about this and a lot of folks may not agree with me or the score I gave it since a lot of people are calling this terrifying and amazing. Its fine. A 6/10 means it is just fine. Do I want more? Not really. This starts off in 1993 with this mother named Rhonda and her son Darren who is watching Mr. Crocket on VHS. The show seems insane as hell. I can't really say that considering the stuff I watched growing up. The show Darren is watching will just stop and show Crocket starring at the scream saying nothing or one of his nutty characters. He also seems to be aware of what is happening in the home. Darren's stepfather wants him to finish eating his food and instead of stepping in Rhonda leaves the room to question her choices in men while Darren is being forced to eat his food.



Suddenly Crocket comes crawling out the damn TV and a monster meat chair straps the stepfather down. Crocket turns the food into worms and mold and tries to make the stepfather eat it while chastising him. This man is screaming and Rhonda is in the other room not hearing this shit. Man wont eat the food she Crocket slits his stomach open and starts jamming the food inside and says “Don't forget iron!” and shoves a for real ass iron into his stomach. The kid Darren is giggling and eating cotton candy while this is all happening. He leads Darren away through this static doorway and Rhonda arrives to see what has happened and screams. This is like the first couple minutes of the movie by the way.



Next up is Summer and her son Major. We didn't like Major. Summer's husband just died and Major wants to play video games at the funeral and talking about being bored. “He's just a kid” someone said. Whatever. He a heathen. After the funeral Rhonda wanders up looking like she on every drug since her son Darren was taken by Crocket. Summer confronts her. Major is back at home being a little shitbird and needs to have his ass beat. This is 93. That was still super popular. Instead Summer tries to listen to tapes on how to control her child. She gives him a whistle so he can be connected to his father and call her when he needs to. Of course he blows the whistle constantly and continues to be horrible. One day Summer finds a VHS box in front of the house and the Crocket VHS inside. She puts it on and Major loves it and sits his punk ass down.



One day she sees that Major has given up on sports and everything else and just wants to watch the video all the time. She takes it away and this boy has full on withdrawals! He starts smashing shit and breaks his fathers trophy. Summer is over his shit and says she quits being his mother. This is enough for Crocket to be like “Well, I'll be spooking ya now!” Crocket takes Major away and I'm like “Good riddance!” but she is a mother an' shit and wants to get him back. No one believes her and she has missing child posters up and the cops think she is on drugs for whatever reason. This guy named Eddie finds Summer and says he believes her story of Crocket. They find Rhonda in her hovel and she has a bunch of TV's in it and has managed to MacGuyver a way into looking into Crocket's world. I shit you not.



They find footage of his audition tape or something and his own puppet calls him a loser. They figure out how to figure out where Crocket is gonna strike next. This little girl is at home and her father is on drugs and drunk and all the bad things. Crocket appears and scares the shit out of the father who pulls a gun. Crocket makes it shoot a bubble before making the father turn it on himself and fire a bubble that grows until his head explodes. Rhonda, Eddie, and Summer arrive and hide as Crocket knows someone is hiding. Rhonda attacks him from behind and Crocket impales her. Eddie and Summer head into Crocket's weird ass world. It turns out that Eddie wants to be with Mr. Crocket because when he was little he lived with Crocket and was taken away and Crocket was killed by police. Crocket made a deal with the devil and came back to save kids from bad parents. Crocket is telling this story to the kids and its animated badly. Crocket don't want Eddie cause he is old and bitter and he ends up killed.



Crocket has the kids chase after Summer and suddenly they are like vampires and Summer is caught by Crocket. He gives Major the choice between her and him. Major chooses Crocket until Summer blows the whistle and is snaps Major out of it. He pretends to stab his mother but he somehow got Crocket's magical marker and Summer uses it to cut Crocket in half and draw a magic door for all the kids to go through. Crocket still alive in hell so I'm not sure why they feel all triumphant. Later Rhonda is FUCKING ALIVE SOMEHOW!!! This makes zero sense! So got her son back and her hair is done and she helping at a church. Everything seems fine but Summer is called into the school because Major is threatening kids with his father. His father dead so who is he talking about? Back home Major is drawing a picture of him, his mother, and Crocket using the fucking magical marker. Where did Summer leave this goddamn thing where this boy could find it?! We hear Crocket laughing saying “That's my boy” and that is the end.



This movie could have been a lot more of everything it presented. It could have been scarier. I'm not sure what age group this is for. I felt zero sympathy for anyone in this movie. The parents were ass. The kids were annoying. Crocket wasn't torturing the kids. Just having them live with him in hell where they were enjoying living in a TV show. I was trying to think of what this movie reminded me of and it was a mix of Pee Wee's Playhouse, Babadook, the Firefly Funhouse, and Nightmare on Elmstreet. I appreciate what they went for but it felt like there should have been more people involved in stopping Crocket. It felt very rushed and weird as fuck having Rhonda somehow figure out how to tap into another reality. This is a little gory but has no real jumpscares or anything. Just a song that will get stuck in your head for a few days. Oh, god. This movie is my 2000th post on this site.


Jerrika Hinton as Summer

Elvis Nolasco as Mr. Crocket

Ayden Gavin as Major

Kristolyn Lloyd as Rhonda

Alex Akpobome as Eddie


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