So L. had me watch this crazy ass movie. I had heard of it and knew Ice Cube made a song for it. I didn't know he was also in the movie and directed it. This movie is fucking crazy. It starts off with this girl named Diana/Diamond standing in front of a burnt ass strip club which did nothing but make me accuse different people of starting the fire until the end of the movie. She wants to go to a certain college and her father disagrees so she leaves. Her mom tries to stop her and by stop her I mean she stops at the porch and begs her not to go. Trifflin' ass mothers. One day at the shoe store she's working at these ladies named Ronnie and Tricks tell her she could make some money stripping. By the way, I would not be going to any club these women worked at. I am too used to the quality of women from P-Valley and would immediately know these women were up to no good. Strike one.
Diamond meets the owner of the club named Dollar Bill. He looks at Diamond like she's a piece of chicken and hires her on the spot. Strike two already. Diamond is stripping for years and going to school and falling asleep in class. One day her cousin Ebony moves in with her and her boyfriend. Wait. I forgot to mention. Diamond has a kid with a previous dude and met this new guy at the club and he don't like her showing her titty balls to men.
Ebony dives headfirst into the stripping world. You never see her strip but I assume that it looks terrible. She can barely even walk in heels. This girl getting drunk and doing private parties for money. No mention of her helping pay rent or anything.
The club owner Diamond owes $60,000 to this dude named St. Louis. He is doing everything to not pay this man. Even having his dumb ass kidnapped and thrown in a trunk he is still dodging him. This creepy dude named Miron at the club wants Diamond all to himself and won't let anyone else dance for him. Strike three! I thought he was gonna burn the club down.
One night Miron follows Diamond home and tries to get into her place! She fights the creep off and then finds her boyfriend (who just left her) in bed with her cousin Ebony! He leaves saying he was there to talk to Diamond and his neck hurt and Ebony was helping him out. Diamond chases his ass out with a gun and sucker punches her cousin and tells her to leave. This woman is being put through the damn ringer. That all happened within one minute!
Ebony gets an offer from Ronnie to do a private dance at her brothers bachelor party. Diamond tried to warn her about Ronnie because she was sexually assaulted by her at one of these gatherings. Diamond had to save Ebony's dumb ass earlier from being drunk and hopping into a car with some dudes! So Ronnie's brother and friends are fucking horndogs. These dudes just sitting there watching porn waiting for strippers to show up. I have an alleged penis and have zero desire to sit in a room full of dudes watching strippers let alone a porno. Ebony shows up and she is the only one. One of the dudes tells Ronnie's brother that Ebony is down to fuck and he is about to get married so give it a go. This man goes in there and sexually assaults Ebony! Ronnie comes in and grabs her brother and they leave Ebony laying in blood.
Ebony had called Diamond earlier and she hung up on her. She heads there with the strip club DJ named Blue that she is seeing now. They find Ebony and then head to the club to confront Ronnie. Diamond gives Blue her gun and tells him to watch the door. She and Ronnie go at it and she beats the shit out of Ronnie. She is throwing her into everything made of glass in the room. It looks very dramatic with Ronnie's blonde hair. I thought that she should have killed Ronnie but that's just me. She quits and Dollar Bill is acting like it means nothing. This man is being hunted! He keeps acting like this juicy lipped old man ain't have him already assaulted and kidnapped!
Diamond graduates and leaves stripping behind. Ebony is now working at a shoe store. The strip club gets shot up and then blown up with a rocket launcher. I'm not fucking kidding. A for real ass rocket launcher. They have a voice over saying what happened to everyone and all's well that ends well. This movie had a lot going on and I can't think of a single day where nothing insane didn't happen. The stripping was nothing special. Nobody was flipping upside down or doing the splits. I talked a lot of shit while watching this which means I enjoyed it.
LisaRaye McCoy as Diana "Diamond" Armstrong
Bernie Mac as Dollar Bill
Monica Calhoun as Ebony Armstrong
A. J. Johnson as Lil' Man
Ice Cube as Reggie
Alex Thomas as Clyde
Jamie Foxx as Blue
John Amos as Officer Freeman
Faizon Love as Officer Peters
Charles O. Murphy as Brooklyn
Adele Givens as Tricks
Click here for previous The Review.
No comments:
Post a Comment