Monday, September 9, 2024

The Review: The Killer (2024)


The Killer 2/10


This movie was ass. I gave it a 2/10 because the main characters outfits were cool and she looked super cute in one scene. Other than that there is no reason to watch this. I have seen plenty of this directors movies and this felt like a spoof of them. How you gonna remake your own movie and do it so badly? I watched this thinking it was another movie and going “Where is Bautista?” This movie tries to fill in some of the killers past with flashbacks but they don't change the way she looks all that much because she is hot and they don't wanna ugly her up so her hair looks like she just woke up at times in the past.



Zee is a professional killer that lives in Paris. I figured this out because I had to start reading what folks said and got mad because know I had to pay attention. Her employer is this guy that you know will betray her as soon as he walks on the screen named Finn. Her only friend is a fat goldfish and a tailor. One day she has to kill this dude as this woman is singing and the music is very un-Dante like. I didn't dig it at all. They check her for weapons but she manages to sneak in a sword that was hidden in the straps of her dress. A room full of men watch as she is dancing with this man and assembling a goddamn sword! She kills a bunch of dudes and almost kill this singer named Jenn. Jenn doesn't get shot but she falls and bonks her head. She blind now. She also has a connection to this guy Coco that got shot. Forgot to mention that shit.



This cop named Sey and his partner stop this dude named Coco and by stop I mean shot him in the neck. This dudes story is boring as fuck so I will likely continue to mention him unless he is in the room with Zee. So Zee's boss is mad that the girl is alive and sends her to the hospital to take her out. Zee gets there and Sey walks in to interview the singer. She lies about knowing Coco (he was listening to her music when he was shot) and Zee realizing the woman is blind and wont say shit to the cops stops the IV drip from killing her. This is also the scene where she looked the cutest. Something is wrong with me. She wears clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination but have her dressed as secretary Velma and I am happy.



The rest of this movie is a cat and mouse game between Sey and Zee. Zee takes Jenn home and Jenn later realizes that Zee is the killer because she says something she said earlier. Be original! Say new shit! If I was a killer I would just be like “Zip zap zippity doo!” There is an assload of inconsistent action in this. Random slow motion for no reason. People get shot and either die or slightly inconvenienced. Like, it will knock them down for a moment until they can reload. They even have these other killer women that are supposed to take out Zee and they are incompetent as hell. One of them uses a sniper rifle and shoots at Zee moments after Zee used her own rifle and doesn't see that it is a mannequin in a bad wig and ends up with ketchup on her gun. The blood in this is very weird. Maybe it was CG.



There are some scenes where I know it was supposed to be cool but came off corny as hell. There is one scene where a guy gets thrown through a window and it explodes before he hits it. I know this is a thing done in movies and I'm not trying to see someone die. But something that sloppy being allowed to stay in the finished product from fucking John Woo?! Come on. I couldn't suggest this unless you just wanna look at one of the main stars. Nice clothing in this but nothing else really. I would have liked to see the main actress is something that was actually cool or had some oomph to it because I could see she has it in her.


Nathalie Emmanuel as Zee

Omar Sy as Sey

Sam Worthington as Finn

Diana Silvers as Jenn Clark

Saïd Taghmaoui as Prince Majeb Bin Faheem


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