The Hate Can't Wait: The Slap

There is a billboard that I have been seeing all around the city and on buses for a new show coming on NBC called The Slap. Not knowing anything about it Cam and I joked about what the premise would be based solely on the poster and I'll be damned if we didn't hit it right on the nose. This series is a remake of an Australian series (I already read what each episode is about and it seems like something that could be done BBC style in three or four or even a movie) which was based off of a popular book.

"A once happy family suddenly begins to fall apart following a seemingly minor incident in which a man slaps another couple's misbehaving child."

The Hate Can't Wait: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

When I first heard that there was a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie coming out I was intrigued. I wondered how they would translate the characters that many of us grew up with and loved. Then I found out that Michael Bay was doing it and I tried to through my childhood in the basement so that it wouldn't find out about it. But it was too late. The damage was done.

9 year old Dante is not a reasonable version of me. If you think this version of me makes no sense picture a smaller version of me that has three times the amount of energy and no concept of things like movies not being made specifically for him. I take things from my childhood being fucked with as a personal attack.

The Hate Can't Wait: Heroes Reborn

Remember that awesome show Heroes that used to be on NBC? That first season was one of the best seasons of a series I'd ever seen. I liked it so much that I bought the first season on DVD and re-watched it. Then the second season happened and I was like “O...kay.” Then the third season made me sell my first season DVD to 20/20 Video and I didn't even bother to check out the fourth and fifth. I didn't and still don't get how they managed to fuck up a show so badly.

I wish I could quit you! Oh, wait. I did.

Now there is a new Heroes Reborn series coming out which I guess you could consider season six. I say that everything dumb I've done I have done twice. I'll be damned if I do it six times. What does this show even have to offer to people who were fans of the show until it shat into our mouths like a bird feeding its babies? Nothing! Stop making this new show because nobody cares. I guess they can trick some people who never saw the show into watching or some poor fans who have managed to erase the silly ass twists and turns this show made. But not me. I do not have the luxury of a bad memory.

Won't Be Fooled Again: Resurrection

I don't wait to complain. I saw a commercial for this new TV series on ABC and wrote on my Facebook page “Resurrection? Ha! Nice try. I'm not falling for this crap again. All these shows that have this outlandish premise but know they can't deliver. Terra Nova. Lost. Heroes. Flash Forward. Revolution. The Event. Stop it.” I even wrote a blog a while back about these kinda shows. Just from a 30 second commercial I can tell you that it will be lucky to make it till the end of the first season.

“The series follows the residents of Arcadia, Missouri, whose lives are upended when their loved ones return from the dead, unaged since their deaths. Amongst the returned is Jacob Garland, an eight-year-old boy drowned thirty two years earlier. Having somehow been found alive in China, he is brought back to America by an immigration agent. His surprise return inspires the local sheriff, whose wife drowned trying to rescue Jacob, to learn more about this mystery.”