The Review: They Will Kill You

They Will Kill You 3/10

Okay. So when L and I watched this I knew who was starring in it and as the movie began had some basic idea of what it was possibly about. Woman named Asia and her younger sister we thought was her daughter are on the run from their abusive father. He finds them at a store and as he is about to capture them Asia shoots him and he grabs the younger sister Maria. Asia is like "Deuces!" and leaves her sister behind. Years later Asia been in and out of jail I guess and learning every fighting technique known to man. She gets into this place called The Virgil by stealing someone's identity.

Documentality: Bang My Box The Robyn Byrd Story

F

Bang My Box The Robyn Byrd Story 9/10

This was a damn good documentary L suggested. This is about Robin Byrd. She hosted a public access series called The Robin Byrd Show in Manhattan where she spoke about sex, love, life, championed causes for the LGBTQ community, and safe sex. And this is something she kinda fell into. A show she had showed up on was being canceled (Hot Legs) and they just sorta threw her on and the show blew up. This show aired from 1977 to 1998. She went against the government during the shitty Ronald Reagan era (I shit you not when I was about 5 or 6 years old I wrote an article for the school paper about him titled “Bad Actor Makes Worse President”) and she won. Robin had been in adult films and would have adults performers on the show to just hang out, talk, dance, and speak with callers live on air. This could not exist now. People suck.

Documentality: The University of Cosmic Intelligence

The University of Cosmic Intelligence 2/10

Not too much to say about this as it was advertised as a documentary when it was more of a I guess “be on the look out for these missing people” type of thing. This dude Rashad Jamal from Chicago beats and strangles his woman. Years later he is Atlanta trying to rap. Meets this lady who has kids who wants to be a singer. They get together and have a kid. He starts making up all these conspiracy videos that get traction online talking about Black people being gods and Atlantis being where Atlanta now sits and all kinda weird shit. Its Pandemic time so everyone is going crazy and a bunch of crunchy Black folk start following him. He gets too nutty and molests his lady's daughter and eventually he is arrested for 18 years.

The Review: Project Hail Mary

Project Hail Mary 9/10

Spoilers! This movie was so damn good. There are movies like this that come out maybe once every two years that make me go “Damn, I wish I had seen this in a theater!” or “I am so glad movies exist.” This movie is told out of order filling in blanks which L and I were thankful for because I kept wondering “Why is a teacher on a shuttle?” Yes. I watched Challenger blow up decades ago in school and there was a teacher on it. Shut it. Plus, this teacher Ryland Grace absolutely didn't want to go to space. He wasn't a science teacher that dreamed of one day heading into the cosmos. I should probably talk about what the plot of this movie is. I seriously was gonna just keep writing like a weirdo.

The Review: Ready Or Not 2 Here I Come

Ready Or Not 2 Here I Come 4/10

Last weekend L and I watched Ready Or Not 2. I liked the first one and was confused that there was even room for a sequel. Turns out that was very much the case with this. It didn't need to be made much like how I felt with Megan 2. This starts immediately after the first movie with Grace sitting on the steps of the burning mansion. Police arrive and she faints and wakes in the hospital. She is handcuffed to the hospital bed and covered in injuries. Her sister shows up. Yes, she has a sister. Now this sucks and I wish they hadn't added this character. Her name is Faith. Just realized that I didn't like this actress because she was in Ant Man and The Wasp and Abigail. I feel better now. Seriously couldn't figure out why she bugged me.

Documentality: Three Docs In One!

Bring Me the Beauties: A Model Cult 6/10

Over the last few weeks (pre Rhode Island vacation) L and I watched a few documentaries. This was the first. This former male model named Hoyt Richards ends up joining a spiritual cult. At one point he was the most famous male model in the world (I realized that other than Fabio who appears in this I barely know male models but knew most women). He left his home after being approached by the guy named Frederick von Mierers. This guy rounded up attractive people and had them help sell crystals and cassette tapes. Frederick is a weird dude and gathers everyone as they party and try to explain their beliefs to everyone. Its all nuts and I won't bother describing cause it sounds like every other weird cult. Past lives. Egypt. The usual. It wasn't like he had all his money stolen or was told what to do with his life really. This “cult” didn't seem all that bad honestly. Watched on HBO.

Curtain Call: Hell's Kitchen

Hell's Kitchen 9/10

This past weekend Cam took me to see this Hell's Kitchen play at The Pantages. Thankfully we found parking a few blocks away because their own parking is expensive as hell and ridiculous to get out of. We also stopped by Amoeba where she got a Rick James CD and I got a The Last Dragon shirt which drew too much attention when at The Grove with L. So we got to the show and I had no idea what the show was about other than it was loosely based on Alicia Keys' life. We had really good seats at a balcony where no one was in front of us which I am always a fan of.

Sitting In The Aisle: Masters Of The Universe

Masters Of The Universe 10/10

Spoilers. I know that I am writing this review based off of a lot of my own personal feelings and I super don't care because I got to see a cool ass He-Man movie that had everything I wanted and more. As a kid He-Man was one of my favorite cartoons. I had random toys (Ram Man being the best one) and have made dozens of Perler designs from the series. Dressed as Skeletor for Halloween once. When I was little there was a movie made and even back then I knew that movie was ass garbage from a human butt. So when this was fist announced I was nervous and then I saw the trailer and got all kinds of hype about it. L. and I went to see this at The Grove which I had not seen a movie at in a lot of years. And why I was there I managed to get a Skeletor bucket and He-Man cup that will be displayed. Should talk about the movie some.

The Review: The Boys Season 5

The Boys Season 5 (1/10)

Spoilers I guess. I have been trying to figure out how to do a review for this last season of The Boys for over a week now. I kind of forgot the new season was starting and was able to watch half the season in one day and had no feelings towards it. This started as a parody of many superhero movies/TV shows and ended up becoming a parody of itself. I enjoyed the previous ones so much but felt that it couldn't continue for much longer. The break in between seasons along with that terrible series Gen-V did not help. I watched this and saw people I had seen for years feel as if they were pretending to be those characters again and it felt just flat to me. People died and I felt nothing. Others survived and felt nothing. This was just a bland ass time for me. Even deaths I had waited years for didn't make me cheer or anything. I just went “Okay.” For those that wanna know who died here they are. Homelander (killed by Butcher after being depowered by Kimiko who has Soldier Boy's abilities), Butcher (shot by Hughie after being depowered by Kimiko and planning to still kill all supes), A-Train (killed by Homelander), The Deep (killed by sea life), Black Noir 2 (killed by The Deep), Frenchie (killed by uranium and Homelander), and Firecracker (killed by Homelander).

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Send Help

Send Help 8/10

L suggested this movie after she spotted it on Hulu. I hadn't heard of this movie whatsoever and ended up really enjoying it. This lady named Linda Liddle is weird. In movies they have weird people who are quirky and such, but she is beyond that. Like, you wouldn't wanna be around her for long. She looks like she smells like whatever she ate. At work everyone ignores her. Her boss passes away and she was promised a promotion but is passed up for this asshat that takes credit for all her work. Her new boss is Bradley who is the son of the guy that passed away. She confronts him about this and he pretty much shits on her and tells her to stop eating her tuna sandwiches at her desk cause of smells. She walks to her car and cries.

The Review: Highest 2 Lowest

Highest 2 Lowest DNF/10

L and I watched this. Well we tried. Made it half an hour until she started letting me know where the story was headed and we made the decision to stop watching knowing there was two more hours to go. David King runs a music business that is failing but he wants to bet on himself. Literally. Fuck having a wife and child and a ton of expenses. “Hey, honey. Sold everything to have major share in my company. Byyyye!” His wife looks considerably younger than him which was jarring. Looked up age differences and he is about my parents age while she is close to my younger cousins age. Basic story is son gets kidnapped and ransomed but wrong kid is taken and he is like “Not my boy so, pffft!” but its his friends son. We read rest of take and glad I didn't finish this. The music was annoying as hell and long. People were acting all over the place. Some stage acting. Others movie acting. Some like a telenovella. Heavy handed dialogue and camera usage. Just a bummer of a movie.

Denzel Washington as David King

Jeffrey Wright as Paul Christopher

Ilfenesh Hadera as Pam King

ASAP Rocky as Archie/Yung Felon

Click here for previous The Review.

Ventura's California Strawberry Festival Review

This is a special post written by M'lady L. We went to the Strawberry Festival in Ventura last week and...yeah. I will let her describe this experience. Enjoy! Or not.

“The California Strawberry Festival is back at the Ventura County Fairgrounds on May 16-17, 2026! Located beachside with stunning views, Ventura’s lively Downtown is blocks away, offering dining, hotels, and nightlife. Conveniently situated off the 101 freeway, parking, free shuttles, and nearby Amtrak access make getting here a breeze. Join us for the ultimate summer kickoff while supporting the community in a BIG way. Indulge in your favorite strawberry treats like build-your-own shortcakes, chocolate-covered delights, and refreshing strawberry beer. With over 40 food vendors, live music, and a plethora of arts and crafts booths, there’s something for everyone. Don’t miss out on this unforgettable experience in 2026!”

I honestly don’t even know how to properly score this festival because there were so many separate issues that combined into one miserable experience. The festival itself was just “okay,” but the transportation problems and misleading information completely ruined the day.

The Review: Greenland 2 Migration

Greenland 2 Migration 0/10

Last year L was going through an apocalyptic phase and we watched some movies and TV shows. We watched the first Greenland movie (click here for that nonsense) and months later she found out that they had the nerve to make a sequel. The movie came and went (no one saw it in theaters) and then it popped up on streaming to ruin my day. This movie takes place five years after the last one (even though the son was 7 and is now 15). At the end of the first one they open the bunker doors and you hear birds and shit and its like “Ah, the storm has passed.” And by storm I mean a big ass comet that wiped out 75% of civilization. It would be so much easier to get to work...

The Review: Bloodhounds

Bloodhounds 8/10

I saw a clip from this show online and was like “What is this?!” Found out that it was Netflix and decided to watch while I still have the service considering I forget it exists. This show kicked all kinds of ass for the most part. It got weird (for weird life reasons) towards the end and I could tell that they had to pivot in a large way. This is about this kid named Gun-woo that is a fucking amazing boxer. He fights amateur and is taking everyone out with one punch to the kidney. He is also good at blocking which is very helpful as the story goes on. He ends up facing this guy named Woo-jin who is also very good and ends up beating him. Woo-jin is tough. He actually got up after the first knock down. Later Gun-woo meets Woo-jin and asks if he wants to get something to eat. These two become the best of friends!

Documentality: We Are Jeni

We Are Jeni 6/10

This not gonna be long. L and I watched this two part series about this lady named Jeni who was super tortured by her father for years and again later as an adult (when she invited him back into her life after he only got 9 years in prison for assaulting someone else in England but I am not gonna get into that). What was remarkable about this case was that Jeni has DID ( Dissociative Identity Disorder) and was allowed to have her different alts speak at her trial. Her father was sentenced to decades which means his raggedy ass gonna die behind bars. DID is something I saw in movies, TV shows, and read in comics (Crazy Jane in Doom Patrol of the dude in Split. Some people say they have it but a true version of it is interesting to see. I am glad she got justice after so many years of not being believed or protected but I had more questions than answers after watching this and felt a type of way after watching. There is no meaty backstory on what her mother was doing while over a decade of abuse happened to Jeni. There was physical damage done and no one helped. No mention of her brother and sister and if they had the same thing or something similar happening to them. I wasn't asking for some triumphant happy ending, but when this was done I felt like this lady was born to be the victim of a monster. No reasons or anything given as to why no one believed her or even how her father grew up to be such a shitty human. It was just like “This is what happened. This is how it ended. Bye.”

Click here for previous Documentality.