Monday, March 18, 2024

The review: Night Of The Comet


Night Of The Comet 7/10


This was such an 80's movie! I had heard of it and thought I knew how it ended but I was wrong. I think I was picturing another meteor movie where folks eyes melted at the end. L. didn't dig this movie as much as I did. Everyone is excited about this comet passing by the Earth that hasn't happened since the damned dinosaurs. There is a girl named Reggie who is boning down with a coworker at a theater they work at and her little sister who is in high school is named Samantha. Reggie is also mad at someone beating her high score at a game. Someone known as DMK. They live with their stepmom who punches the younger daughter the night of the comet celebration while Reggie passes out after getting 80's style sex the long way. Let's not fly by that. The stepmother put the girl on the floor Mommie Dearest style. The comet flies over and my Black ass would have run inside so fast. Back in 2020 jets flew over and I thought it was the end of the world. If I am outside and the sky turns into Studio 54 I'm leaping back into my apartment!

Sunday, March 17, 2024

The Review: Poor Things


Poor Things 1/10


I gave this a 1 instead of a 0 because L. and I finished it. We had half an hour left before going to sleep and finished it the next morning. This movie was ass. There is literally nothing I liked about it. It felt like it was trying to imitate better films and directors and failing at every aspect. I should probably talk about what happened in this four hour feeling ass thing. This lady jumps off of a bridge and lands in some water. A guy fishes her out and a doctor pays him for the corpse. Next thing you know the doctor who looks like something from a horror movie has this woman who seems to have the personality of a toddler. His named is Godwin Baxter aka God. The woman is named Bella. She eats food and spits it out. Pisses on the floor. Just all manner of strange shit.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

The Review: Reacher Season 2


Reacher Season Two 10/10


I fucking love this show. What I like most about it is that when a season ends even if they didn't bring it back (they are though!) there aren't any lingering questions. Besides, you could just read the books as well. They're very good and will make you hate the Tom Cruise movies. This season starts off with a man being tossed from a helicopter. I was like “That's a hell of a way to go.” Meanwhile Reacher is in a small town about to use an ATM and while waiting a nervous woman is in front of him. He talks to her and is told that she has her son in the car and a man with a gun is having her withdraw money. Reacher beats this man like a drum and them heads back to the ATM and sees a secret message on his receipt. Neagley (who is one of the coolest characters on television right now) knows that Reacher has no house, phone, or way to get in touch with him so she used military codes for assistance needed.

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Documentality: They Called Him Mostly Harmless


They Called Him Mostly Harmless 8/10


Spoilers!!! This was insane! L. mentioned hearing about this on a podcast and we checked it out. This hiker known to other hikers as Mostly Harmless was found dead in his tent in 2018. He had money and food but weighed about 83 pounds. He had no identification on him and even when he was fingerprinted nothing came up. They speak to other hikers who met him and took pictures with him but no one knows his real name. They had experts and others talk about how hard it is to actually be as unknown as this guy was. I just wanted to know if they eventually found out who he was. L. assured me that we would know his name by the time this ended. His body was discovered by some other hikers after smelling some dead human funk and alerted authorities. They tried their best to make an image of what he may have looked like alive from his body. It looked horrifying.

Documentality: Lover Stalker Killer



Lover Stalker Killer 6/10


L. and I watched this crazy ass documentary on Netflix a few weeks ago. Once it started she already knew the story and we fast forward through a giant chunk because Netflix was like “We have a lot of text effects and we gonna use all of 'em!” It gets old. So this dude Dave is newly split with the mother of his children and decides to start using dating apps. This is back in 2012 when dating apps were like the wild west. So he meets up with this lady named Liz. He tells her he doesn't wanna be tied down and she seems cool with it. He later meets another woman which sets off a bizarre series of events such as Liz coming down with the worst luck ever. House burned down. Car keyed. The other woman comes up missing. Liz says she is being stalked. Turns out that Liz is doing all this to herself and stalking the fuck out of Dave. Oh, and she murdered the other woman. I told my lady “Ain't no dick in the world that good!” She agreed. This was fine but felt longer than it was even with fast forwarding. They could have had two different stories in this.


Click here for previous Documentality.

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Curtain Call: The Wiz



The Wiz 6/10


I liked this show but whenever I talk about it I sound like I am just complaining about what I didn't like or was confused about. L. took me to see The Wiz at The Pantages (notoriously bad sound system) for my berfday after a nice dinner and avoiding crazy ass rain. I was excited when I saw that Wayne Brady was playing The Wizard of Oz after seeing him in Kinky Boots. Well, guess what? No Wayne. No Brady. Let me get to discussing the play. It starts off with...wait. I am not gonna sit here and type out what The Wiz is about. If you have seen The Wizard of Oz and The Wiz then I can say that this is a combination of the two which is kind of confusing. Its called The Wiz but Dorothy is in school and not a teacher. She is also on a farm and not in Detroit. This is me being puzzled from the start. I push that away and keep watching.

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

The Review: The Vince Staples Show


The Vince Staples Show 10/10


I had no idea this show existed until L. mentioned it this past weekend. The way Netflix is set up I likely would not have even had this suggested to me. I'm glad it exists because I would love more shows like this. It has been compared to Atlanta in some ways. I have watched that show on and off and to me it felt like a alternate reality where people know Vince Staples is a rapper or they don't know who he is and do not care at all. There are only five episodes (British style) and they run less than half an hour each with one going for only eighteen. I for real cracked up watching this multiple times and wanted more but was happy with what I got. The reason why I gave it such a high score is that I have zero complaints about this show and no suggestions on what could have made it better.

Sunday, March 3, 2024

You Had One Job: The Crow 2024


In the original
Crow movie “A man brutally murdered comes back to life as an undead avenger of his and his fiancée's murder.” In The Crow: City of Angels “The spirit of the Crow resurrects another man seeking revenge for the murder of his son.” In The Crow: Stairway To Heaven series “A deceased street musician returns to life, and must restore the balance between good and evil to be reunited with his dead girlfriend.” In The Crow: Salvation “Alex Corvis returns to the world of the living to solve the murder of a young woman that he was wrongly accused of.” In The Crow: Wicked Prayer “On his way to becoming an immortal demon, a gang leader orchestrates the murder of an ex-con and his girlfriend.” I have seen all of these except for the series because I just had no desire to watch it. The other films were complete ass but they had one thing going for them that this new movie that is coming out: they used new names and characters.

Saturday, February 24, 2024

The Review: 30 Coins Season 2


30 Coins Season 2 (10/10)


You crazy if you think I have the mental capacity to recap a show like 30 Coins. The first season was insane and the second one made it seem like a fun day at a playground by comparison. Every single episode had L. and I yelling at the TV and disgusted by something strange. You want me to try and describe some of the show. Priests get brought back as decomposing zombies. Hell looks like the least fun place ever. A lady gives birth to a crab monster. God and Satan are the same person. A guy gets flattened like a pancake by magic. Alternate dimensions. A damn spaceship! Just so much crazy shit happens that even when I wanted to recap this weekly I knew I couldn't so after finishing the show months ago I know that right now I can't even make an attempt. I think more people need to be watching this. I need there to be a season three right now. This is an incredible show with great acting, writing, and set design.


Click here for previous The Review.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

The Review: The Color Purple



The Color Purple 1/10


The funny thing about me giving this a 1/10 is that it still feels a little bit too high. L. and I watched this last weekend on a whim. I remember when I heard this was being made and scoffed. I know that the first movie (which I saw every week as a child because my parents were strange and rented it from Cal-Fal) is based off of a book (which I read a tiny bit of) and this movie is based off of the musical (which L. has seen). That being said...wow. This was super bad. I know that a lot of reviews praised this movie and that is because they don't wanna come across as racist. I'm Black. I'm gonna just come across as a asshole. Don't get me wrong. I love musicals. I just didn't like this movie. Let me explain why.

Thursday, January 25, 2024

Documentality: Chowchilla


Chowchilla 7/10


So L. and I watch this documentary on HBO that was originally done on CNN called Chowchilla. This was insane. I had never heard about this case before where a bus full of 26 students and the bus driver were kidnapped. So these kids riding the bus just living their best weird ass Central California life when these guys wearing stockings over their face and holding guns stop the bus. Now the bus driver let them on and all I could think about was that if this ever happened on the public transit that I ride. The bus driver would immediately let anybody on seeing as how they let on screaming, yelling homeless people daily. So these kids get taken for a ride and then they're moved into this underground bunker type thing and next thing you know they hear dirt being shoveled on top of them. These kids started having hallucinations and pretty much losing their minds as you would expect. The bus driver tries to rescue them by lifting this lid and he can't do it but one of the boys is able to. This boy is a true hero this story but what sucks is that the bus driver got all of the credit. Even on this bus driver's Tombstone when he died years later they put that he was a hero.

Saturday, January 20, 2024

The Review: The Black Phone


The Black Phone 8/10


A while ago I watched this movie with H&B. This movie was way better than I thought it would be because the trailer for it did not make it look all that interesting. I also like the writer of the original short story that this was based off of but they have a tendency to screw up his writing when it comes to TV series and such. This is about this little boy named Finney who gets bullied because he aura screams victim. And this is 1970 style bullying so it's pretty much close to murder whenever these kids get beat up. While this is going on there's also a bunch of kids being kidnapped and murdered and they call him The Grabber. One day Finney's little sister starts having these visions about the kidnapper and their father gets pissed off because their mother used to have psychic visions and she killed herself. So his solution to her have any psychic visions and them having a dead mama is to be physically abusive to them.

Monday, January 15, 2024

Documentality: Curry and Cyanide


Curry And Cyanide 8/10

Another documentary we watched was called Curry and Cyanide. It's the tale of this lady named Jolly Joseph who and India killed six people. You can guess how she did it. Her first victim was her mother-in-law who she gave a glass of water too with some cyanide in it. Next was her father-in-law followed shortly by her own husband. By the time she was done she had killed one more person, a child, and the mother of that child so she could be with the husband. This was insane to hear about but the crazy thing is when I watch some of these documentaries and I look at the years that this stuff was occurring it's just like “oh yeah life was real strange around that time.” Like, if anything insane happened between 2019 and 2021 chances are I missed out on it. The thing about this lady that bugs me so much other than the fact that she was a murderer was that she would straight up be at these people's funerals standing over their caskets knowing good and damn well that she hadn't murdered them. She would have gotten caught sooner if they had done autopsies on some of these bodies and understood the fact that women could kill. I also like that they had real people involved in this case interviewed. There weren't strange reenactments really of things happening and they spoke to people involved in having her caught including her sister-in-law and one of her two children. This is on Netflix and is a really quick watch.


Click here for previous Documentality.

Documentality: Stolen Youth Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence


Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence 8/10


A lot of times when I watch documentaries about mind control or cult or anything like that I think to myself “that could never be me.” A lot of times it's because everybody looks filthy and I like taking showers or they have to get weird haircuts and outfits and things like that. In this documentary Stolen Youth this could not have been me because even though I have not gone to college I could not imagine me and seven other roommates suddenly having a new roommate in the form of somebody's ex-con daddy. This is about this group of students at Sarah Lawrence College and one of the girls is like “Hey, my dad's getting out of prison you mind if he chills on the couch here?” And they all agreed that its cool! Thankfully, like with every documentary about a cult or anything like this I always look for Black people and there are none in this one.

Documentality: Hell Camp


Hell Camp 7/10


A few weeks ago L. and I watched this documentary called Hell Camp on Netflix. This was nuts. Its about a “camp” where your parents pay a lot of money for you to be kidnapped from your home, taking to Utah, and forced to hike hundreds of miles in the desert. Okay, but really it's for out of control teens and this program set up by this guy named Steve is supposed to whip you into shape. It did eventually get shut down and by shut down I mean moved to a new location until a 16 year old girl actually died. So what happens is you are a teen in the 80s or 90s and smoking weed and drinking and just being a general nuisance. Your parents are sitting at home watching Donahue and they see this guy Steve show up and talks about how you should be dealing with your out of control teenagers. Mind you we later find out that his son is also out of control and ends up at one of these places along with his another child of Steve's who ends up with drug issues as well. So they take you out of your house, throw you on the plane, drop you off in this desert, and the next thing you know Macho Man Randy Savage is screaming in your face.