Best Series Of 2018

I think this year was the year of TV for me. Yes, that includes things that came on Netflix and Amazon. Actually that is all I mean because I don't watch regular TV unless there is a high speed chase or Cam calls me to laugh at people on The Antiques Roadshow. Otherwise everything is streamed. I know that there are a lot of shows debuting constantly so for me to want to sit and watch a series there are a few rules. I am not jumping in when there are already two or more seasons aired. I am not watching if it has more than twelve episodes in a season. And finally if the sound is so bad that I can't make it past the first minutes of the first episode. Yeah. That happened twice this year. So here is my list of five shows that I consider the Best Series Of 2018.

Worst Movies Of The Year 2018

2018 did not have a shortage of bad movies. I condensed this because while there were only seven Best Movies Of 2018 I could have had close to twenty bad ones. I decided to add Netflix movies because they are not straight up made for TV movies. They are for real big budget movies being made with actual actresses and actors so they made the cut...in terrible ways. Seriously, I have four movies from Netflix on this list. There were some ho-hum movies that weren't bad enough to make this list and some that were bad but they seemed like they at least tried so they didn't make it. These are my choices for Worst Movies Of The Year 2018. Don't forget that you are super free to disagree with me. The thoughts of some random ass dude you don't know shouldn't ruin your day. And don't read end of the year lists and complain about spoilers.

The Review: Hang Em High

Hang Em High 8/10

Last night I felt like watching something I have not seen. I started watching the Westworld movie from the 70's and stopped because I was bored. Same when I tried watching the series. It made me wanna watch a real Western so I watched Hang Em High starring Clint Eastwood. Holy shit this was good. I sound like one of those kids that just discovered Michael Jackson or Bruce Lee. This is a tale of revenge and you all know by now that if something is about revenge I am all up in it. This takes place in 1889. States ain't even all states yet. Eastwood as Jed Cooper is herding cattle when this group of guys roll up on him. They accuse him of murder and he explains that while he knows who they are talking about he did not steal his cattle or kill anyone. This is the 1800's and people barely knew how to act human let alone how justice worked so they end up hanging him and stealing his saddle.

Best Movies Of The Year 2018

This has been a really rough year for movies for Dante. Yeah, third person. Handle it. There were good movies at the start of the year and then a few at the end. I had hoped that most of my favorite movies would not just be superhero films but they just keep making good superhero films so they made my list. There have been some good TV shows and perhaps I'll make a list of some new and recent series I think you should check out. I know that it is getting close to that time of year where the Oscar films come out and it is always some true story I don't give a damn about or something about uplifting struggles. Fuck all that. I don't go to the movies for reality which is why BlacKkKlansman is not on here. Fuck the multiple endings to that movie and the news footage shown. There are a couple of movies like that one where my rating was not high enough to be the best and not low enough to be the worst. So here are in my opinion the Best Movies Of The Year 2018.

The Review: Deadly Class (Pilot)

Deadly Class 2/10

I saw an ad for this new series coming out called Deadly Class on SyFy. The first episode is available on Youtube so I figured I'd give it a shot. Didn't like it. I'll try and explain what the show seems to be about. A bunch of students are recruited to kill. I think. I am trying not to mix up what I saw and what I read it is supposed to be about from descriptions of the comic book it is based off of. This kid named Marcus Lopez Arguello who doesn't appear to be any of those names if you're picking up what I'm putting down lives in the streets. This show felt like I was watching a TV show version of Wanted and I hated that damned movie.

The Review: I Am Vengeance

I Am Vengeance 5/10

This was not a terrible movie. I knew that it was gonna be cheesy. I Am Vengeance is a title I cant ignore because I love stories about revenge. The closer you are to someone the harder the vengeance should be. Or, like, the death of a puppy you just got from your recently deceased wife! Monsters! Anyhoot, this stars Stu Bennett fka Wade Barrett. I want this guy to succeed in cinema. I watched his wrestling career, used to put him in the game before he was officially in it. This guy had a unique look and a great voice. Seriously, his voice sounds like something you'd hear before frogs started raining from the sky. So I added this to my Netflix list and watched this tonight while making Perler beads. Yeah. It is a hobby. Click here to see them.

The Review: Bird Box

Bird Box 1/10

This will be full of all the spoilers. What happens when you get John Malkovich, Machine Gun Kelly, and Lil Rel Howery in one room? Madcap adventures! I just finished watching Bird Box on Netflix starring Sandra Bullock and wow. This was pretty damned wack. I was intrigued by the posters for it I had seen and did not know what it was about or who all was in it until watching. At first I didn't even know Bullock was in it and got hesitant to give it a go which Cam made fun of me for. Other cast members include Trevante Rhodes, Jacki Weaver, Rosa Salazar, Danielle Macdonald, Tom Hollander, BD Wong, and Sarah Paulson. I also would not have watched this if I had known Susanne Bier directed it. I've seen Serena. Don't talk to me. I may make this sound more interesting than it is with my description. Like sex. That thing where you put the pee pee into the smoosh smoosh until bammy happens.

The Review: 2036 Origin Unknown

2036 Origin Unknown 3/10

Despite the low rating I am giving 2036 Origin Unknown this is not a terrible film. It is mostly just dull. An AI named ARTI voiced by Steven Cree is running things after a disastrous Mars landing years prior. Humans can't handle things properly so we have to leave it up to robots. Mackenzie Wilson played by Katee Sackhoff is on board this satellite station while talking to her sister who I suspected of being an AI herself. She wasn't. This is another person on board with Mackenzie named Sterling played by Ray Fearson and whenever he was on screen my brain shouted “Acting! I am acting! Look at me act!” It felt weird. A monolith is discovered on Mars that can teleport to Earth instantly and some light intrigue begins to happen. I would have liked to know more about these characters and the in between of that failed mission and this point but they somehow rush through this slow feeling movie and the actual answers are not that interesting. I was like “Okay. I guess.”

You Had One Job: Hellboy Reboot

This doesn't look right. Not just because Ron Perlman is not in it. The new Hellboy just does not look good. In photos that have been all dolled up? Sure. He's like the opposite of Fergie who I love moving but not in photos. This reboot of the Hellboy franchise just looks very not cool. I loved the first two films directed by Guillermo Del Toro with Perlman as Hellboy. It all seemed to work perfectly and looked amazing. I was not a fan of the Hellboy comics in any way. I knew who the character was and became a fan because of the previous films. The new trailer that came out the other day did not give me any goosebumps. That is a rating system I have. Like, the first Captain Marvel trailer did not give me goosebumps which worried me but then they released a second and it did. With this there will be no second trailer magic happening.

The Review: I'll Be Homeless For Christmas (2013)

I'll Be Homeless For Christmas HAHAHA/10

I just watched the best movie ever made and by the best I mean the worst and by the worst I mean the most hilarious. I'll Be Homeless For Christmas is one of the most thought provoking movies I have seen in my life. So many questions were asked! By the way, I do not watch holiday films. Cam does. We got off the phone and she called me up an hour later to discuss this gem of a movie and like the best friend that I am I made sure we watched the whole damn thing. By the time we were halfway in I knew we had to finish because it got funnier as it went on. And by funnier I mean more confusing. Here is the plot as written online for my own personal version of The Room.

The Review: Devilman Crybaby

Devilman Crybaby 9/10

I watched this insane ass anime on Netflix the other day. It is a ten part series called Devilman: Crybaby. I knew who Devilman was visually. I've seen the character for years but never read anything or watched anything with the character so while watching I didn't have anything to compare it to which I tend to like. Unless I go and ruin all that like I did by reading the Altered Carbon books after watching the series which made me post-dislike the entire show and made me wish it had not aired. But that's not what this is about. Devilman is about a kinda geeky kid named Akira Fudo and his friend he has not seen in years named Ryo Asuka. Ryo show sup out of nowhere flashing a machine gun and racing off with Akira telling him about his adventures in South America and how demons are a real thing and Akira has to help him stop them.

The Review: The Man With The Iron Fists 2

The Man With The Iron Fists Two 1/10

This movie was the hottest of garbage. I saw the first one and that was bad and saw on Starz that there was a sequel and decided that I didn't feel bad enough about myself and watched it. I mean...holy shit. This is really bad. It's worse than the first one because you can tell that they tried with this. What did they try? I'm not sure. RZA is barely in this and sadly even if he never appeared it would not have made a difference in the story. A village is controlled by a bad guy that needs to be beaten and RZA don't wanna fight until he does and people die and there is some golden nectar that is magical. This movie was all manner of shit and the only thing I liked was the music sometimes. I checked out the director and he is the master of making sequels no one asked for. The acting is bad, the fights stank, and the story was weak as green tea. And the fists looked like toys. They even had the nerve to threaten us with another film. I'm good.

Click here for previous The Review.

Gossip And Shit: 12/12/18

I know it has been a long ass time since I did one of these. I got burned out by celebrity gossip and the fact that almost anyone is a celebrity now so the timeline in regards to what to cover gets ridiculously watered down with people that are known for just being known. But I am back to be petty and messy as shit.

Nicki Minaj is staying in the news for the worst reasons. She is currently dating a guy she knew from back in the day who was convicted of first-degree rape when he was 16 and later for manslaughter. How he is out and free to bone down with a famous person is beyond my comprehension. How do you date a registered sex offender?! Nicki stated “He was 15, she was 16...in a relationship. But go awf, internet. y'all can't run my life. Y'all can't even run y'all own life. Thank you boo.”

I will not be talking about Cardi B or Tekashi69 because they have far too much bullshit in their lives to write about and they are garbage people.

One of the most beautiful women on the planet and UFC fighter Rachael Ostovich who was attacked by her husband who is also a fighter and suffered a broken orbital bone among other injuries is still scheduled to fight at an upcoming UFC card. The insane fucking thing is that the UFC is debuting former NFL player Greg Hardy who was convicted for domestic abuse on the same night. Ostovich's husband Arnold Berdon has been charged with second degree attempted murder. They have a five year old daughter.

The Review: Happy!

Happy! 9/10

Tonight I finished watching this crazy ass series called Happy! that aired on Syfy...which means I did not watch it until it was on Netflix. This show is insane in the best of ways. I won't even say that there will be spoilers because I doubt I can even recap this show properly. It stars Christopher Meloni as a former police detective named Nick Sax. I say former because now he is a hitman. A very good one. He drinks too much, does too many drugs, has heart problems, and no one likes him. Cops and bad guys hate him but some of the bad guys have a weird form of respect for him. This is based off of a comic book (that I did not know existed) so the things that happen, like the violence, are very graphic. So graphic that it is cartoonish.

You Had One Job: Netflix Cancels Daredevil

I really don't like talking about studios. When I see a movie I want to just see the movie and afterward when reading about it then I can see what hand a studio had in the movie and why things made no sense. Streaming services are studios. They make full on movies and TV shows and have the ability to give and take away as they please. The Netflix series Daredevil has been canceled and I'm not super upset because the third season was actually really good and I felt fine with the way it ended. I didn't say to myself “Damn, I can't wait for this to return!” because shows these days just keep cranking out no matter how I feel about them. So I am not upset Daredevil is leaving Netflix. I am bothered by the fact that if I wanted to check out another possible season or a bunch of Marvel based movies and series I'd have to get another streaming service.

The Review: Big Mouth Season 2

Big Mouth Season Two 10/10

I do not use the phrase undeniable often but the show Big Mouth is undeniably funny. I laughed so long and hard at some jokes I had to rewind parts of episodes to hear what they said again. I did not think that this would be able to be better than the first season and even held back on getting started because I was pre-disappointed. Jasmine suggested I watch it after she was already deep into it and I did and immediately laughed like a fool. This season actually picks up from where the previous left off which surprised me. They managed to continue developing previous characters, going deeper into others that did not get a lot last season, and introducing more in a way that did not feel crowded.

The Review: Passengers

Passengers 0/10

Join me on a horror film where a man gets so desperate for company that he chooses to spend the rest of his life with Jennifer Lawrence! I'm kidding but not really. I just finished watching Passengers. This movie was gar-bahj. Dead serious. I already knew a lot about this before watching and thought it could not be as bad as I'd heard. It was worse. This was way worse than I thought. This is about 5,000 people and 258 crew members so miserable on Earth that they plan to move to a new planet called Homestead II and work shit out there. This trip takes 120 years so fuck you anyone that you knew back on Earth. One day Jim Preston played by Chris Pratt gets woken from his pod and stumbles around thinking everything is fine until he realizes that he's the only one awake. Turns out his ass woke up only 30 years into the trip. Uh-oh. What's a guy to do?!