The Review: Glass Onion

Glass Onion 9/10

I really liked this damn movie. I was very surprised to see that it was already available to watch on Netflix because I thought I was going to have to wait a month or two to finally check out Glass Onion. I really liked Knives Out and didn't have super high hopes that this would be as close to as good as that movie was but I was very surprised. What I'm not surprised by is the fact that I am a terrible detective and that if I was ever in a situation where I had to solve a mystery I would fail. This rich jerk named Miles invites a bunch of his different friends and people he's known for years to his island for a murder mystery game but not before making them solve this crazy ass puzzle just to get the invitation. One of the friends named Andi ends up just smashing it open and heading to the island.

The Review: Bullet Train

Bullet Train 1/10

You ever see a preview for a movie or look at the cast listing and think holy crap this movie might be bad but it'll be kind of cool in a bad way? That was not this movie. This movie was straight up trash. There have been a lot of films that have had a large cast and a crazy insane storyline and fights but have done it so much better. Everyone has been comparing this to Smokin' Aces which is an insult since that movie is actually really cool. I got absolutely zero joy out of watching this and was barely able to make it through. I'm not going to waste my time listing the cast of this film because it is actually embarrassing that so many really good actors and actresses wasted their own time being in this. I'm also not going to waste my time saying what this is about. This was just trash and barely deserves a 1 out of 10 but it gets that score because I finished it.

The Review: It Happened On 5th Avenue

It Happened On 5th Avenue 8/10

I don't have too much to say about this movie. I don't mean that in a bad way because this was probably the most Christmassy Christmas movie I have ever seen in my life. This is about a hobo who likes to stay in rich people's homes over the holidays while they're gone. He ends up shacking up with this soldier who has no place to stay and while they're there this girl sneaks in it turns out to be the owner's daughter but they don't know that. So while they're staying there they end up inviting a lot of other people who have no place to stay and pretty much turning the place into a free hotel. The owner of the place ends up coming and he wants them all out but the daughter convinces him to play along and pretend to be somebody else because she's in love with the soldier. That's about it. This movie was very happy, very cheerful, and made me feel all of the holidays and I would seriously suggest adding this to your Christmas movie watching list. I had never even heard of this movie. I think my only complaint would be that the hobo in question begins to take his role a little bit too seriously and bossing people around.

Don DeFore as Jim Bullock

Gale Storm as Trudy O'Connor

Victor Moore as Aloyisius T. McKeever

Charles Ruggles as Michael J. "Mike" O'Connor

Ann Harding as Mary O'Connor

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The Review: White Christmas

White Christmas 8/10

One of the Christmas movies we watched was called White Christmas. This takes place during World War II and this Broadway performer is there and the major general shows up to let them know that he's leaving. Moments after he takes off they start getting bombed and shot at. The Broadway performer who is named Bob ends up getting saved by Phil but Phil ends up getting his arm hurt. While he is recovering to make up for it he decides to let Phil join him and they become a Broadway act together. They end up becoming very successful and they hear about these two other singers the Haynes Sisters and this is pretty much an elaborate plan because Phil thinks that Bob will be much happier in a relationship and it would improve his life.

The Review: The Invitation

The Invitation 7/10

So L. and I watch this movie called The Invitation. All I knew about this movie from the trailer was at this girl gets invited to go overseas and then weird things start happening in the house that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge on this film. Now it's about this girl named Evie who works freelancing at a catering place and getting felt up by pervy men and somebody leaves a gift bag where you can do DNA test. She takes it and is contacted by a cousin that's in England somewhere. Her best friend tells her that she shouldn't go and she's going to end up killed or something but she doesn't have any other family so she decides that she's going to make the trip. Now at the beginning of the film we saw some woman end up hanging herself with a piano wire trying to get away from everybody in the house and now Evie starts seeing weird visions and having dreams about this woman. There's also some maids that are working for this gathering of all these different people and they all start getting picked off one by one by some creepy ass monster this giant manner is owned by this guy named Walter who takes a liking the Evie.

The Review: Paper Girls

Paper Girls 8/10

There was this show called Paper Girls that Miss Jackie told me about. When I read the premise I did not think that I would be even kind of interested in this but after the first episode I knew I was going to plow through this show. It came out in July of last year on Amazon but this show got absolutely no advertisement. I have seen a lot of reviews compare it to Stranger Things even though this show came out and comic book form before stranger things did but nobody likes to do any kind of research. Plus the guys who created Stranger Things have already been accused of stealing the entire shows idea. I am rambling so let me get to the main part of this review.