Thursday, December 27, 2018

Worst Movies Of The Year 2018



2018 did not have a shortage of bad movies. I condensed this because while there were only seven Best Movies Of 2018 I could have had close to twenty bad ones. I decided to add Netflix movies because they are not straight up made for TV movies. They are for real big budget movies being made with actual actresses and actors so they made the cut...in terrible ways. Seriously, I have four movies from Netflix on this list. There were some ho-hum movies that weren't bad enough to make this list and some that were bad but they seemed like they at least tried so they didn't make it. These are my choices for Worst Movies Of The Year 2018. Don't forget that you are super free to disagree with me. The thoughts of some random ass dude you don't know shouldn't ruin your day. And don't read end of the year lists and complain about spoilers.


"In no world should a movie based around giant ass robots beating the hell out of alien creatures from another dimension be dull and feel long but Pacific Rim: Uprising found a way to do it through a bad story, questionable technology, and super underdeveloped characters."

I wish this movie had not been made. Even when I saw the trailer I noticed how bad it looked compared to the first film but chalked it up to maybe it not being finished. They release stuff too early sometimes. But no. This was done and bad. Looked like a bunch of toys just fucking up entire cities. This movie had no heart. The main hero sucked and was smacked on because he is Black and so was Idris Elba so they needed to make some sort of connection. This was probably the biggest cash grab movie of this past year and I hope they never make another one. Just stop here.


"I'm not sure why this was made and made so badly. I remember watching interviews with Henson and people talking about the lack of advertising this got. I see why. If I had invested in this I would have been so pissed at how it turned out. The story is super weak. The directing seems all over the place. This movie doesn't even have a tone."

They got me! They tricked me into thinking this would be a good movie because the trailer. Till this day I say that whoever put that trailer together deserves an award because they managed to make this dumpster fire look cool. Turns out they just took clips from the end of the movie and made it seem like this was an action packed movie. It wasn't. It was dumb. I wanted this to be good for so many reasons but could not enjoy this. I like dumb shit. I just don't like stupid shit. This was stupid.


"The editing is noticeably bad which is a super easy way to yank me out of a movie or TV show. The ending is just insulting for anyone hoping that this will expand upon the Cloverfield series. I'm glad this was not released in theaters. It is a waste of time."

This movie buh-lew! I didn't expect it to be amazing or anything but this movie didn't even make sense. This seemed like they took four movies, slapped them all together, and hoped for the best. I could see that there was a possibly good movie but I read that Cloverfield got tacked on at some point to get this made and that connection is one of the worst parts of this. A half written story, shoddy effects, and a shoehorned franchise does not make a movie watchable.


"What is happening to the world and why all these storms and quakes are happening is never explained. I could kind of forgive that. Kind of. But what I can't forgive is an ending that is not a fucking ending. The movie just stops."

I got mad just reading my own review for this movie. This piece of shit should not have even been released. This was one of the signs that Netflix did not care about what they were putting on their channel. Now when I see something that is a Netflix Original I am iffy as hell to even give it a shot. This movie did not have an ending. Yeah. The movie ended. Meaning I am not watching it right now. But it did not have an ending. Fuck this for existing. And like another movie I will be bitching about this gave no explanation for things that happened.


"With a horror movie I can watch and enjoy them for a lot of reasons. Because the kills are creative. Because they are unintentionally funny. Because they scared me. Because they were shot well. I don't have any of that to say about this movie."

I hate that this was not good. I read reviews where people praised the acting and how scary this was and felt bad for them if they ever watch an actually scary or creepy movie. This movie was just done to see what some of the actors look like older now. As someone that likes movie killers even if they just can't seem to be killed and their previous versions are silly as hell I always still want these remake/reboots to be good. They threatened to make a sequel to this by having Michael Myers not be dead. Just give it up. I know that they loved making this but it didn't even feel like a Halloween movie. Knock the Rob Zombie ones all you want but at least the shit was interesting.


"The crazy thing about this movie is that I still don't know why anyone likes her other than her looks. She doesn't seem to have much of a personality and has shown signs of some kind of mental illness and very impulsive behavior. She gets drunk and hurts a guy which stops her from having sex. Gets upset and drunkenly cuts her hair. Quits her job with no warning."

I still don't know the answer as to why these guys liked Sanaa Lathan other than how she looked. I even asked some lady friends this question and the best they could mention was she dressed nice and had a good job. This movie seemed like it was written by a computer as to what makes a romance movie for this day and age. So many found this movie empowering while I thought it was the story of a woman that had lost her mind and was raised by an insane mother and a father who could not deal with that shit and left.


"After one hour that felt like two already and knowing I had one more to go I had to give up on this. The story was not interesting at all and when there were threats of a good time being had by me it would slam on its brakes for some boring story development that I just did not give a damn about. I did not care about anyone in this movie!"

This was the first time I did a review for a movie that I did not finish. I did like the first movie a lot but this one just was not good. I still have not talked to anyone that saw this movie. I can't wait till the Chocket Awards with Cam so she can talk about another bad Denzel movie from this year. I don't know what dude is going through right now but he needs to chill for a bit.


"During the heist the really tall blonde is shot because studios will be damned if out of four women, two being Black and one Latina, that one of them gets shot. Plus, in all honesty, other than Viola Davis' character the blonde was considered expendable. If you don't have kids you are pretty much a meat shield. I didn't want them to accomplish this heist because I didn't care about them."

If I wrote this review again after all the talking I have done about this I would give it a 1/10. Seriously. I have been shitting all over this movie since it came out. Critics are praising Viola Davis for her acting in this. Nah. Her acting was better in Suicide Squad. People are praising Steve McQueen and his directing. Oh, you mean his flavorless directing? I could seriously write three more reviews just breaking down how bad this movie was. If you liked this movie and thought it was one of the best of the year and the acting and performances were great I don't know what to tell you. This movie was fucking dumb. It had a goofy plot, a shitty heist, and no one to cheer for. Here is how the advertisement should go. “A White man marries a Black woman and their child dies because he is dumb...I mean mixed...I mean Black. White man kills his own crew and pretends to die himself because he wants all White baby. Black wife who is a teacher with no crime experience uses his journal to plan a big heist. And by big heist I mean rob a house.”


"They start to piece together that you can't look outside or else you will go crazy and kill yourself. They end up letting a pregnant woman into the house and everything about her screams victim. Like...everything!"

At least with The Happening we knew what the problem was. Goddamn trees. With this shit it is left to us to figure it out. People have theories that they are pushing as facts. The fucking author who created this didn't even say what made everyone kill themselves or explain why some people did not kill themselves but instead made others open their eyes and kill themselves. I know whatever the fuck was affecting people could do it through vision but at one point the shit's was talking to them. So I guess the blind people were deaf as well. Explain that! When you see that the movie jumps back and forth through time you know automatically that everyone else is dead. The kids in the movie are just something to make you want Sandra Bullock to protect because she herself is not a likable character. She is a vessel for life that becomes their form of transportation. You can like this piece off leper shit but don't tell me that I am wrong for hating a movie that has no clearly defined threat. “They were seeing depression when they opened their eyes!” Word? “”It was the devil!” Uh-huh. Every year there is a movie I don't “get” the hype over. One year it was Nocturnal Animals. Another Boyhood. Silver Linings Playbook. Florida Project. This year it is both Widows and Bird Box.

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