Suicide
Squad 3/10
This
will have some spoilers. So I did it. I said I wouldn't see this
movie (click here and here for those posts) and I did because I like to take one for the team sometimes.
Suicide Squad is a movie no one asked to be made and it was so we
have to deal with all of the whack posters, commercials, and bitching
about how a directors cut is far better than what we're seeing in
theaters. Hey. For sure that isn't a good defense. No one should be
allowed to hold onto good material saying it makes the film better.
Just release a good film. They didn't. This movie made me feel the
same way Star Trek did after watching it. I was just like “Well,
that was definitely filmed.”
What I
kept hearing people talk about the most regarding this movie was how
good Will Smith was as Deadshot, Margot Robbie was as Harley Quinn,
and the soundtrack. I agree with one of those. Smith was good as
Deadshot and if that was its own movie I would watch it because he
made that character so interesting that everyone else seemed like ass
by comparison. “Oh, you throw boomerangs? You have crocodile skin?
You got a sword with your husbands soul in it? You're a six thousand
year old witch? That sounds neat. I'm a dude good at shooting shit
and I am far more interesting than any of you.” He doesn't always
wear the mask but its fine because it looks kinda dumb in real life.
I
should probably talk about the plot. Amanda Waller is scared of
people like Superman because what if, like, he decides fuck saving
people and starts hurting us? We need a backup plan. No, not heroes!
That would be crazy. Lets get some of the most dangerous villains and
blackmail them into helping us and if they don't we'll blow their
heads off? Yeah? Great plan, right? So they have Killer Croc who is
there to make me really listen because I could barely understand his
voice. Katana because Asian. Harley Quinn who has a baseball bat.
Captain Boomerang who...drinks. He throws an actual boomerang once or
twice. Slipknot dies immediately. Rick Flag running things but not
really. Deadshot who just wants his kid safe and taken care of. The
Enchantress who was straight up hot garbage. She sucked so hard! They
really shouldn't have used this character and if they were at least
get good CGI. She was shit.
Someone
no one is really talking about it El Diablo played by Jay Hernandez.
This guy was good. Pissed me off because I had a cholo gang member
character years ago named Fuego but lets not get into that. Besides
Deadshot he is the only one that had an actual backstory. I liked
this guy and when he got all super cool bionic at the end I was
impressed.
Back
to the plot. They are all forced to work together at stopping The
Enchantress from bringing her brother back and taking over the word
by building a machine. Bitch been sleep for thousands of year. Wakes
up wanting machine. Anyway, they fight a bunch of smokey zombied
humans for a while and whatever. It stank. Jared Leto is in as the
Joker and worse than I imagined. He wasn't scary. He wasn't cool. He
wasn't interesting. It was like some dude dressed as Joker doing
crazy shit. And don't give me that shit about how much of his stuff
was cut out. I don't care how many condoms he sent costars or how
many psychos he talked to in preparation. This isn't The Joker
Returns. He honestly didn't even need to be in this movie.
This
is one of those movies that I will forget happened in a few months
until doing my best and worst of the year. Could this have been good?
Of course. But when I keep hearing that it is bad because of “the
studio” I just roll my eyes. I don't want to see more of this movie
to make me like it. Make me like what you put in theaters and get
happy when it is available to watch at home with extra shit. Oh, and
as for the soundtrack everyone is raving about, its awesome if you
like hearing a different song you've heard hundreds of times in your
life being played for a few moments.
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