Friday, April 20, 2018

Theater Whore: Pacific Rim Uprising



Pacific Rim Uprising 2/10

This movie bummed me out and will have spoilers. In no world should a movie based around giant ass robots beating the hell out of alien creatures from another dimension be dull and feel long but Pacific Rim Uprising found a way to do it through a bad story, questionable technology, and super underdeveloped characters. I'm not saying the first film, which I loved and bought, was some Oscar worthy movie, but at least it had some heart to it. This movie screamed “Buy toys associated with this and look we have some kid here that you can relate to and holy shit is that a cute little robot that is the perfect size for your child of course it is because fuck you this is Pacific Rim Uprising!” I'm barely gonna say anyone's names because most of the people in this are just targets anyway.


Ten years after the first film the world is trying to rebuild itself. People are stealing whatever Jaeger technology they can for money like Jake Pentecost played by John Boyega. He is the son of Idris Elba from the first movie that he never...ever mentioned. They should have made this his brother or something because having him as his kid that he never mentioned while doting over the young girl he found and saved removed any emotional impact the fact that his father died to save the world. Anyway, he gets chased stealing parts to discover that a young girl stole the part already. He gets followed, the get chased, captured, and they has to go help save the world. So...yeah.


They meet Scott Eastwood who knew Jake when they were training together. They are not fans of one another. The rest of the team is a bunch of young folks from different countries that act like what they look like. There is no backstory given to them. Hell, even the little girl that is the co-star has her backstory shown but it is shorter than this lady who returns in this one when hers was shown in the first. Is that confusing? Good. Welcome to the club! I laughed when they showed her parents gets killed because it was a cut scene from Monty Python.


Honestly, the rest of the movie is cities being damaged beyond repair. At one point they run out of buildings to throw at a creature. I'm not making that up. I wish this movie had been cool. Even if you do not like the first film it looks cool. This one takes place during the day and it did not translate well. It doesn't help that the effects felt like a step down from the first one. The robots did not feel as real as in the first one. When they moved my brain translated it as if I were watching a video game especially when I saw how much damage was taking place. I mean Tokyo will never exist again! Like, ever! They smashed that shit! The humor in this did not fit the situations. You don't get to throw snowballs after landing from space and barely surviving. Knocking a guy out that almost destroyed the planet and making a funny one liner isn't humorous. The rating for this review drops with every paragraph so I'll stop here and say don't waste your time watching this movie.

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