Sunday, April 1, 2018

The Review: Power Rangers



Power Rangers 2/10

Sometimes I feel like watching a nonsense ass film while I iron. The one I chose today was Power Rangers. I was not a huge fan of the original series though I was a major fan (and still am) of the Pink Ranger Amy Jo Johnson. Seriously. She is one of the cutest women to ever exist. Back to the new crap. All I knew about this movie was that one of the villains looked terrible when he finally appeared and I was not disappointed. He looked real bad. This will be full of spoilers aka time saving.


The Red Ranger is a guy that is a fuck up football quarterback. The Pink Ranger is a girl that did something mean online. I think. She cuts her hair during detention perfectly with some scissors. The Blue Ranger has autism and is annoying as hell. The Black Ranger lives with his sick mom. The Yellow Ranger hates that her life is so nice. That is pretty much the extent of their characters. They are pretty damned wack. Zordon was once a Power Ranger but put the magic stones in the ground as he defeated Rita Repulsa. Sort of. The team trains to be Rangers but suck and can not even morph.


This movie was just over two hours long and they do not morph until an hour and a half in. They somehow manage to do karate and fight rock monsters with close to no training. Even Zordon thinks they suck. They also figure out how to control the Megazord in a moment. Goldar, instead of being the huge monkey/knight, is a blob made of gold. Rita has the ability to get in a Ranger's house but does not kill them. Makes no sense. I will be shocked if this bullshit gets a sequel. They just put five unlikable kids together, called it something kids used to watch, and managed to create something no one would wanna watch again.

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