Gossip And Shit: 4/26/18

Allison Mack of Smallville fame is being monitored with an ankle bracelet while being investigated for being the “pimp” of a sex cult with her man Keith Raniere. She faces between 15 years and life in prison. They extradited her ass back to the U.S. Look it up. The shit is super messy.

Nick Gordon is in trouble for hanging with his girlfriend. Remember he was arrested for a fight they had but she did not want him to be arrested and blah blah blah. Crazy shit.

Sinead O'Connor has made a bunch of claims towards Prince and no one cares because, well, look who is saying it. Even if she is telling the truth her credibility rating is lower than my GPA.

If I ever appeared like this in a photo with my wife (that does not and likely will never exist) I'd be running to some form of marriage counseling because she is going downhill fast. Seriously. They do not even look close to happy.

There is a lot of news regarding Kanye West and his new albums coming out and his support or not support of the president. I hope it all ends in him making good music. Never been a fan of his rapping so my hopes are super low. And don't be surprised when he really does run for president in 2024. The world is gonna look like Mad Max by then anyway, so why the fuck not, right?

Beyonce performed at Coachella. She looked great. I have not watched any of it but I hear it was amazing. And I need excuses to post pictures of her.

Robin Thicke posted a picture of his baby mama breastfeeding and the image is more breasts than feeding. I can't even post it here. Is nothing private? I'm not even against breastfeeding (even though I was not breastfed which is why I'm the way I am) in public but see no need to set up a shot of it for the internets.

Former L.A Clipper and now a Detroit Piston (enjoy that weather change!) Blake Griffin is being sued by his former fiancee Brynn Cameron. They have two kids together and she says he left her a week before their wedding and started canoodling with Kendall Jenner. Ooh...

The sexual assault lawsuit by Jennifer Jarosik for Russell Simmons has been dismissed which means that some palms were greased.

Lamar Odom is opening a weed business. “I want to get people better, bro. If I can get 'em high, I can get 'em better.” Nah. I'm good.

Crazy ass guys have been trying to and succeeding in breaking into Taylor Swift's homes. Like, a lot of them have. Maybe they are upset about that Earth Wind & Fire remake she did.

An Instagram model named Deyana Mounira is being accused of sexually arousing a guys dog during a photo shoot. He says she “began sensually playing with Hef; arousing Hef by playing with his genitals and masturbating him.” I do not have enough exclamation points for this one.

The family of the DJ named Avicii have released a statement regarding his death and it may have been suicide related to his drinking problems and handling fame. He was 28. If you gave me fame at 28 I'd have been dead at 29...buried under a pile consisting of women that look like Angelina Castro. Yay, an excuse to use a photo!

Bill Cosby has been found on three counts of aggravated sexual assault. He can get ten years for each one so don't expect any Cosby Show reunions. This is what I imagine his supporters said afterward.

Keshia Knight Pulliam is now officially single and her ex has to pay her over three grand a month. Seeing as how he is an athlete expect some terrible news regarding all of this within a year. Why are people still dating/marrying/having kids with athletes and musicians?!

A lot of rappers with colorful hair, teeth, and tattoos are beefing with one another. Their names nor their music are important. Carry on.

Lil Wayne threatened the audience at his show in San Bernadino saying that if people threw stuff on stage they would be shot. Like I need more reasons not to see him perform.

Alleged comedian Tiffany Haddish got upset when a photographer would not help her put her luggage into her car at the airport. I made the mistake of going onto her Instagram and reading the comments. Chivalry is not dead. Men are just terrified of women now.

Stan Lee is being accused of rubbing his dick on a massage therapist. He has been in the news a lot lately for either being robbed, swindled, or having his blood used to sign comic books.

Verne Troyer aka Mini Me has died from alcohol related problems. Apparently he had a super amount of booze in his system when he was rushed to the hospital.

Kate Middleton and Prince Harry just had a kid. I did not know she was even pregnant let alone that this was their third child!

Marvin Gaye's son is pissed that Quincy Jones said that his father boned down with Marlon Brando back in the day. Man, its cool. People did some weird shit back then for funsies. As far as I know nothing good happened in the 1970's including my birth.

Safaree Samuels is not wearing as much jewelry anymore since he was robbed but is still rocking them ugly ass coats.

Actress Gina Rodriguez paid over $2,000 for a puppy. Why in the fuck do animals cost that much?! When I was little dogs were free. “Hey, my dog had some dogs. You want a dog, dawg?”

Bam Margera has avoided jail time for his DUI arrest. Damn, it pays to be well known. Seriously. He has to pay fines, attend classes, and be on probation for the next three years.

Meek Mill was released from prison because he is famous. Look. I know that his judge is shady as hell and the cops there in Philly are about as bad as the ones in Los Angeles. But it is not like he is a saint. This is not another “Suck it, justice!” situation like when O.J Simpson was released. Here is footage of him leaving prison and heading to the helicopter.

Harry Anderson from Night Court passed away. That show was funny as hell and I remember one scene that made my Air Force cousin fall off the bed laughing so hard till this day.

Way too much to post, but Khloe Kardashian had her baby girl with NBA player Tristan Thompson. As her ass was in labor stories (with photo and a sex tape) showed him with multiple women doing things a guy in a relationship shouldn't do but what I expect an NBA player to do. I did not know, but he already has a kid and bounced on her as well. Jordan Craig is the mother of his 15 month old son. Tristan started dating Khloe while Jordan was still pregnant. The shit is next level Mess Fest but as far as everyone knows Khloe is still with Tristan. Khloe is my favorite Kardashian, but god damn, she has terrible luck with men.

Here's the friend you'll never introduce your spouse to.