Widows
3/10
Tonight
at AFI with Koko we saw two movies. One of them was Widows starring
everybody and their mama. This movie was like having every ingredient
needed to bake a cake and ending up with candy corn. I don't know
what the hell happened. Full disclosure, I saw the trailer for this a
few months back and thought it was a joke. I did not think this was
an actual thing that was being made so I did not have high hopes for
enjoying it. But then as the movie started I got all kinds of happy
seeing who was in it. “They got Punisher in this shit?! And Liam
Neesons?! Michelle Rodriguez aka Wife #3 and Viola Davis aka Wife
#5?!” Suddenly I was very interested in this movie. Hell, a lot of
the cast and the director Steve McQueen were even there. I live down
the street from Hollywood. Be all kinds of jealous. I'm just saying.
So in the Mann's Chinese Theater or whatever they call it now with
900 mutants we watched what ended up being a clusterfuck of a movie.
This
takes place about ten years ago. I guess. It says that on Wikipedia
but I don't recall that in the film. Some thieves played by Liam
Neeson, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Jon Bernthal, and Coburn Goss end up
getting blown up after a heist goes wrong. Don't get attached because they are here for a cup of coffee. There are flashbacks
showing Neeson and his wife Veronica played by Viola Davis being all
lovey dovey with one another. Next thing you know a big ass
explosion. The cutting is cute for a bit but gets old fast. These
guys took two million bucks that belong to a crime boss running a
campaign named Jamal Manning. He is played by Brian Tyree Henry. He
is up against Jack Mulligan played by Colin Farrell whose father is
currently running the city played by Robert Duvall. Seriously. This
is a great cast and this should have been much better.
Veronica
finds her dead husband's old notebook that is full of past crimes,
future crimes, and names. She is threatened by Manning and told that
she needs to get his money back somehow. He grabs her dog by the neck
and the theater gasps expecting some John Wick style disaster. It
does not happen. Veronica asks her late husbands driver named Bash
played by Garret Dillahunt to find the names of the wives of the
other men killed with her husband. This is the crux of the entire
movie and where it begins to fall apart. Before I get on my ramble
and complaint fest I will say that I would have enjoyed this if it
were just about Manning and Mulligan running for office against each
other. Their story line is a movie in itself and the actual plot of
this movie just gets in the way. Daniel Kaluuya as Jatemme is an
amazing villain. I did not think he had the ability to be terrifying
but he did.
One of
the women is Linda played by Michelle Rodriguez. Her husband was
shitty and she just wants to run a store and support her kids. The
next is Alice played by Elizabeth Debicki. Her mom wants her to be a
whore and her husband beat her. The last widow does not show up and
when you find out more shit about her it turns this into a comedy.
Seriously, the plot twist to this movie is so terrible. It could have
been done well but it was not. They need someone to drive so they
bring in Belle played by Cynthia Erivo and immediately I had a new
wife. She is awesome and could kick my ass. She is a babysitter. So
yeah. This team has never worked together. Do not know shit about one
another. And as far as they were concerned their lives sucked but
there were no death threats made on their lives until Veronica shows
up like “We need to get two million dollars or they will kill me...I
mean us. They will kill us.”
PURE
SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT ON.
The
big plot twist of this movie is that Liam Neeson did not die in the
explosion with the rest of his crew. He set them up and is working
with Colin Ferrell. For two million dollars he had his crew killed
and was ready to let his wife think that he is dead. Turns out that
Neeson is living with one of the ladies that did not show up for the
heist. Veronica goes to meet with her and on the second trip sees a
flask that Neeson owned and it is confirmed he is alive. He also has
a kid with this lady. They show through flashbacks that Veronica and
Neeson had a son that was killed by a police man because he does not
know how to act when pulled over. They had fights about maybe he
would not have been killed if he were 100% White. Not sure how long
ago the dude was killed but her hair is different so I guess enough
time had passed. So I guess that means that he was holding this
resentment or whatever against her and just biding his time being all
loving to her and having this extra kid on the side. Either way, he
shows back up after the easiest looking heist in cinema. The prep for
this heist is so sloppy and silly and not exciting.
During
the heist the really tall blonde is shot because studios will be
damned if out of four women, two being Black and one Latina, that one
of them gets shot. Plus, in all honesty, other than Viola Davis'
character the blonde was considered expendable. If you don't have
kids you are pretty much a meat shield. I didn't want them to
accomplish this heist because I didn't care about them. The most
effective member of the team was Erivo's character. She had multiple
jobs, a daughter, had to literally run to the bus stop to avoid
sexual harassment, and leave her own child at home to take care of
other folks kids. If two or three of the women were like her I would
have cared more. Other than her the women in this movie had garbage
ass husbands that secretly or openly treated them like shit and they
accepted it.
It is
the next morning and I have read some reviews of this movie and am
baffled. The only things I liked about this movie were Erivo,
Kaluuya, and Brian Tyree Henry. If this were about the political
story between the brothers and Mulligan's family it would have been
cool. Or if this was about a group of women that actually knew one
another and whose husbands, even if they were trash, were cool or
nice I would have wanted them to succeed. The music to this was good.
Can't say much for the directing. I have only seen two of McQueen's
films now and not enjoyed them. Between this and 12 Years A Slave I'm
good on dude. This was not intense, dramatic, cheesy, fun, or action
packed. There was too much humor and not nearly enough character
development to make me give a damn. If you love movies and rave about
them because of who made them and are in them you'll love this. If
you want a good story watch something else.
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