Cartoons That Should Be Films 1

While watching 1980 cartoon theme song compilations I was thinking of how Hollywood cranks out or plans to crank out cartoon based movies from my childhood. There have been countless Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films and the terrible GI Joe and Transformers films. I have to figure out whether they are bad to me because they aren't how I would make the film or because they are truly just shit films.

I've decided to jot down some of the cartoons I'd love to see as full length films now but of course with my involvement because I'm me and only I can make things that are worth watching. God Complex: Engaged! Some of these may seem really obscure but they provided me with hours of entertainment over and over again because they lasted just a season or two though my childhood imagination thought they lasted most of the 80s.

Thirty Thirty Rules

A few nights ago I was watching this channel called ION. Late at night during their cartoon segment, Qubo, they play cartoons that were out when I was little. He-Man, She-Ra (who I'll talk about soon), Ghostbuster's, and Bravestarr. Now, I have always loved the Bravestarr cartoon but not because of the main character. Sure, he had the ability to have the eyes of a hawk, ears of a wolf, strength of a bear, and speed of a puma. That's groovy and all. But his fucking horse/partner, Thirty Thirty, was the main reason anyone had to have been been watching this show! That dude ruled!

Boo-yah-kah!!!

He has a giant gun named Sara Jane. I prefer to call it the Funeral Starter. That thing was massive. Look at it! No! Don't you dare turn away. You look at that gun and acknowledge how awesome it would be to own it. Nevermind how cool it would be to have a friend like Thirty Thirty. Even his name is tremendous. Just knowing that at any moment if I need him to he'll bust out this fucking room clearer and laser shotgun cannon blast anything that's in our way makes me happy. I want to be friends with this beast. There was one episode where some stupid goat kid found his gun and the damned thing was set to go full blown megaton.

The Rant Zone Show 16

In this episode I discuss The Avengers, Safe House, Human Centipede 2, Battleship, and rant about the lack of morning cartoons for children anymore. Click here to download this and past Rant Zone Shows.