DVDiculous: The Human Centipede 2

So I decided to watch The Human Centipede 2. Now, I know some of you are like “Why in the hell would you do that?!” but let me tell you…after watching A Serbian Film there is no level of filth or horror that can make me flinch or be horrified. I saw the first Human Centipede and was surprised at how not graphic it was.

This one has the same director which is good or bad depending on how you wanna look at it. Good since there aren’t two people making such shit films or bad because there’s the one. This movie, and I use that term very lightly, is about a security guard named Martin who loves the movie Human Centipede so much that he wants to make it happen in real life.

This movie makes the same mistake almost every new horror film does: victims are unlikable. In the first film the main two girls were immediately unrelatable (totally not a word by the way) and the type of girls in 80’s films that got killed and you cheered for it. So he starts off with a couple where the dude is a super prick and it goes from there.

A therapist comes to the house for a two minute visit. Apparently Martin was molested by his father and mom blames him for their divorce or whatever. The therapist is a total pervbot and doesn’t even try to hide it. He later gets killed after getting a blowjob in a cab. No one cares.

Martin lives with his mom who is a psychopath as well. She bangs on the ceiling to shut up a loud neighbor who comes downstairs and beats her sons ass when she says he is the one who hated the noise. She tries to kill him in his sleep but fails. He just shrugs and goes to bed until she finds his notebook with notes and shit on how to make his own human centipede. Then he kills her.

Martin has about twelve people he has captured and finally gets the call he has been waiting for. The actress from the first film decides to come and meet him for a fake movie role. He captures her and then creates his human centipede.

Its mostly duct tape and to make up for the lack of shit in the first film they put it in this one. Then he has sex with the end of the centipede and then gets a funnel and a real centipede shoved up his ass after killing everyone. The end.

Please don’t bother seeing this. Its not as gross as it wants to be. Its not as cool as it wishes it were. Its just…there. It was made. That’s about all you can really say about it. Whatever you picture when you hear the title of this crap is worse than what happens.