Monday, October 31, 2011
In the most obvious news and gossip of the century so far, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have divorced after just 72 days of being married. They site irreconcilable differences. I say he got tired of getting falling into her cavernous vagina.
Demi Moore is in trouble for roughing up a paparazzi. Have you seen how skinny and frail she is lately? That’s like suing your baby sister for assault.
Terrell Owens wants to pay less child support. Nope.
Tonya Cooley from The Real World said she was raped with a toothbrush while she was passed out and that it was filmed. MTV says she is full of shit. I say I don’t even remember this chick. Maybe she was on one of those random seasons, like Real World Botswana.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
“The player takes control of martial artist Billy Lee, or his twin brother Jimmy as they fight their way into the turf of the Shadow Warriors gang in order to rescue their common love interest Marian. The player character has a repertoire of martial art techniques which they can perform by using the joystick and three action buttons (kick, jump, and punch) individually or in combination. Techniques ranges from basic punches and kicks, to more elaborate maneuvers like hair grabbing moves or elbow punches.”
The leader of the Shadow Warriors is named Willy. I’ll never be afraid of a man with that name. I don’t care if I’m a woman walking down the alley of a dangerous street towards a group of obvious sociopaths one of which is carrying the type of gun that is normally strapped to the top of a vehicle on a battlefield. Oh, Marian. In the pantheon of damsels in distress in video games she has to be one of the dumbest. Seriously. If you saw this group on the news you’d never go to that neighborhood let alone slowly walking towards you on the street. Of course they punch her in the stomach and fling her over their shoulder and walk away.
“I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.“ Nicolas Cage
The DNA Show lives inside each of us. Even jawless Roger Ebert once said "There are often lists of the great living male movie stars: De Niro, Nicholson and Pacino, usually. How often do you see the name of Nicolas Cage? He should always be up there.”
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Jennifer Aniston may or may not be pregnant. I may or may not care. Let me check. Nope. Don’t care.
Why is Lindsay Lohan doing a Playboy shoot when 1. She looks like a crackwhore now. 2. We have already seen every inch of her emaciated nude body. And C. You can see the same body type on Feed The Children commercial?
Scarlett Johansson dyed her hair black and I disagree with this decision. “Yeah, me too…” Penis said.
Tara Reid lied about being married. Then she lied by saying she’s an actress.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Last year I made a small list of hot mothers from TV. I left a lot of women out because, well, I’m a lazy son of a bitch. I could honestly make a list with at least ten different ladies but I wanted to go with the ones that were truly Fapable. So no you will not be seeing Carol Brady or the mom from Family Ties. This isn’t about nice or wholesome moms. This is about hot ass ones that usually had ugly husbands. You got your pants around your ankles? Good. Lets go!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
In this episode I play some progressive rock with some just awesome music tossed in for good measure. Billy Squier Lonely Is The Night, Rush Spirit Of The Radio, Journey Any Way You Want It, Corey Hart Sunglasses At Night, Eddie Money Take Me Home Tonight, Asia Heat Of The Moment, Hall & Oates Private Eyes, King Crimson 21st Century Schizoid Man, Phil Collins Something Happened On The Way To Heaven, Deep Purple Perfect Strangers, and Yes Roundabout. Click here to download this and past Ross Radio Shows.
Shia LeBouf got his ass kicked by some dude with no shirt on in the streets. I would love to give this man a gold medal. This kid for whatever reason thinks he's a tough guy.
The Lingerie Football League is trying to recruit Michael Jackson’s daughter for their flag football league. She is 13. Yeah.
Demi Moore needs to stop wearing shirts with no sleeves. “For real though…” Bruce Willis did not say but probably thought.
Halle Berry’s ex husband is pissed that a nanny has to be around during his visits with her. Good. That’s the price you pay for being inside “The Berry!”
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
“The game takes place in the Danger Room, a training area for the X-Men inside the X-Mansion. A virus transmitted via satellite has infected the Danger Room, disabling control and safety limits. The X-Men must endure the unpredictable behavior of the Danger Room until the virus can be located and eliminated. Once the virus is eliminated, the X-Men discover that Magneto is behind the computer virus and the final stage involves a battle with him.”
This game was so badass. I had seen the X-Men cartoon (the old one that wasn’t on Fox Saturday mornings) and read about the characters in Wizard magazine but did not own a single damn issue of the comics. I knew which ones I liked though. I wanted to cut some shit using Wolverine. I wanted to charge up some playing cards and wreck shit as Gambit. I wanted to, uh, appear a few feet away as Nightcrawler. Cyclops? Whatever. He’s always lame. Laser eyes? Get that shit out of here.
“You can't do that man. I mean you don't abuse 'em once in a while they'll shit all over you. I don't mean you walk around morning to night whackin' 'em upside the head like someone from the other side but you terrorize 'em once in a while just to keep 'em in line. Know what I mean?” Paulie Pope Of Greenwich Village
Monday, October 17, 2011
Pearl Jam is one of my favorite bands so I chose to play some of my favorite songs of theirs. Oceans, Porch, Yellow Ledbetter, Temple Of The Dog Hunger Strike, Go, Daughter, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Corduroy, Ole, Given To Fly, Once, Glorified G, In Hiding, Last Kiss, Just Breathe, Nothingman, Black, Do The Evolution, Brain Of J, State Of Love And Trust, and Love Boat Captain. Click here to download this and past Ross Radio Shows.
Phineas and Ferb and for weeks he’s been asking me if I watched Kick Buttowski Suburban Daredevil yet. I hadn’t. Why? I got like 1,200 blogs and a new TV. I was occupied. And half lazy. So today I finally sat my ass down and watched about five episodes and I have to admit that this is one of the most silly, crazy, fun cartoons I have seen in a long time. It centers around Clarence "Kick" Buttowski and the crazy stunts and life he leads. With the movies that Disney keeps putting out you’d think they would focus on making a really good animated film based off these latest cartoons. Or maybe they have like years ago and I have no idea what the blue hell I’m talking about.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Lindsay Lohan could go to jail for a few months for not completing her community service. Which means she will get a new mug shot and leave an hour later because of overcrowding. We know the drill, justice system.
Ashton Kutchner fucked a very average looking girl and will likely end up divorcing Demi Moore. “Hide ya kids, and hide ya wives…” Antoine Dobson should’ve said. The chick, Sara Leal, is bragging about the unprotected sex they had. I don’t mind unprotected sex because I’m not rich. Don’t judge me.
The rumors are still flying around that Beyonce is actually not pregnant. I need a definite answer, damn it. I cant keep telling guys to fly their penises at half staff if this is a false alarm.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
I don’t wanna right off the bat call this a political thriller because its not. I also don’t want to call it a drama because The Ides Of March is more than that. I’m having a hard time describing this film but what I can say is that I really enjoy it. If you had told me that a movie about a guy running for office would be one of the best films I have seen this year I would have said “Who are you and how did you get into my home?!”
I cant cover this like I do many of my reviews because there are far too many actors in it who put in such great performances. There is a scene where George Clooney (Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, Burn After Reading, The American) and Ryan Gosling (Drive, Crazy Stupid Love, Half Nelson) go back and forth with each other in a verbal tennis match that should inspire anyone that wants to be an actor. Philip Seymour Hoffman (Punch Drunk Love, Moneyball, Capote) has some very good scenes where if he were going up against anyone other than Paul Giamotti (Sideways, Win/Win, American Splendor) would have gotten chewed up and spit out.
Friday, October 14, 2011
“I'm going to give you an opportunity: Get out of this. Now. Before it gets so fucked up nobody could ever recover.” Charlie Barret Suicide Kings
“Galaga is a fixed shooter arcade game developed and published by Namco in Japan and published by Midway in North America in 1981. It is the sequel to Galaxian, released in 1979. The gameplay of Galaga puts the player in control of a space ship which is situated on the bottom of the screen. At the beginning of each stage, the area is empty, but over time, enemy aliens fly in formation, and once all of the enemies arrive on screen, they will come down at the player's ship in formations of one or more and may either shoot it or collide with it. During the entire stage, the player may fire upon the enemies, and once all enemies are vanquished, the player moves onto the next stage.”
You know what’s missing from kids these days? The arcade. There was nothing not the feeling you got when you would park your ass in front of a machine for hours and be surrounded by a bunch of strangers that cheered your every move on. I think they call them “Orgies” nowadays, but back when I was a kid arcades were where you went to play games like Galaga. You were a single ship that had to fight literally hundreds of alien ships.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
In a lot of films there are “That Chick.” The ones whose name you cant remember most of the time but they pop up because, well, they serve a purpose of being looked at. They have the ability to go from sexy to cute just by letting their hair down or taking their glasses off. They are single handedly responsible for ugly chicks thinking that a quick makeover can transform them into the hotness. Let me know if I left some chicks off this list. I know there’s more but I seriously cant remember their names.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
If “don’t ask” I “wont tell” what the theme of this episode is. I play some Diana Ross I’m Coming Out, The Weather Girls Its Raining Men, Sylvester You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real), Gloria Gaynor I Will Survive, ABBA Dancing Queen, RuPaul Supermodel, George Michael Too Funky, Grace Jones Slave To The Rhythm, Village People Macho Man, Cher Believe, Sister Sledge We Are Family, and Donna Summers Love To Love You. Click here to download this and past Ross Radio Shows.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Old school hip hop from the 80’s and 90’s are in order. I play some De La Soul Ego Trippin’ (Part Two), Kool Moe Dee I Go To Work, EPMD Strictly Business, X-Clan Xodus, Run DMC Beats To The Rhyme, LL Cool J Jack The Ripper, Big Daddy Kane Warm It Up Kane, 3rd Bass Steppin’ To The A.M, Public Enemy Shut Em Down, Chubb Rock Treat Em Right, D-Nice Call Me D-Nice, and Beastie Boys The New Style. Click here to download this and past Ross Radio Shows.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
I previously mentioned how "Christian Bales Makes Everything Better." Now its time. Its time! Its...Vader Time! With a little help from the voice of Darth Vader James Earl Jones.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
I admittedly did not want to see this movie, 50/50. I like the actors involved and all that but the topic of cancer is something that seems rather hard to do without it being terribly depressing. This film not only managed to be both funny and compelling but also touching. The human interaction in this was just amazing to see and this movie should be watched by many people with no fear of leaving the theater depressed.
Friday, October 7, 2011
The voice actors from The Simpson's don’t want to take a 45% pay cut to keep the show on the air. I don’t want to waste half an hour to watch a show that hasn’t been funny since I was in my mid-20’s. I call evens.
There’s a porn tape from the early 90's featuring late rapper Tupac. His family will see if its released. “Uh, I’m not dead” Tupac probably said from home.
Megan Fox’s Marilyn Monroe tattoo is almost completely removed. Her career will fade long before those scars.
First Nancy Grace had her nipple fall out on Dancing With The Stars. Now she farted. And they were worried about how Steve-O would behave on that show.
“I was bouncing at a transvestite nightclub and back then all the transvestites were on this shit called Angel Dust, so you'd hit them over the head with a baseball bat but they'd keep on coming.” Mickey Rourke
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Street Fighter 2 is one of the top five games of all time to me. I first played it at a bowling alley. I had a bowling class (yeah, that happened) and didn’t give a damn about bowling. I just knew they had an arcade and Street Fighter 2 was there. When I first started playing my favorite character was E. Honda because of his Hundred Hand Slap. People liked to use Dhalsim, since he stretched but that shit didn’t work against Honda.
|"Damned handicap parking!"|