Sunday, October 15, 2017

The Review: The Bad Batch

The Bad Batch 1/10

I think I am on a streak of watching shit films and gotta be careful. I decided to watch this movie The Bad Batch on Netflix after remembering seeing a cool trailer a while back and decided to give it a try. As soon as I saw Jason Momoa was in it I should have stopped but I am not a quitter, damn it! I just give up...slowly. So this girl named Arlen played by Suki Waterhouse is kicked out of a gate into a place that is considered not a part of America so anything goes. And by anything I mean cannibals because less than a day after being released she is taken by these two ladies who drug her and saw off her arm and leg for food because dirt people, am I right?!

She finds a skateboard and starts scooting across the desert and is found by a dirt person played by Jim Carrey who does not say a word this entire film. He takes her to this town called Comfort where she gets a fake leg. Meanwhile Momoa known as Miami Man who has a wife and child eat people. One day the wife and child go out scavenging for shit and the girl spots them, talks shit, and shoots the mom in the head because all dirt people are the same to her. She takes the girl and heads to a rave being run by Keanu Reeves. I am not joking. This movie exists. Arlen loses the kid at the rave and Miami Man finds out from Jim Carrey where his kid is after finding his wife's body. The rest of this is nonsense.

I was worried when I saw this was written and directed by the same person. I was right to have been. I am not sure who this movie is for really. It was not fun, cool, funny, scary, or anything. It was like I just felt like having mumbling talking and gibberish on my screen for a long time. This movie was way longer than it needed to be. If this was an hour it would have been a little better. I guess you can watch if you wanna see Momoa in tattoos that look brand spanking new because movies have still not perfected the art of making tattoos look aged in any way.

Click here for previous The Review.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Theater Whore: The Florida Project

Florida Project 2/10

I need to hurry up and write about this movie before I talk it down to a 1. The Florida Project. I was sitting here watching Youtube and being a lonely ass nerd when Cam called and asked if I wanted to see a movie. Of course I did. So we headed to the Arclight and checked out this movie that was done by the same guy that did Tangerine. This was not Tangerine. This is one of those movies getting a lot of praise and Oscar talk but do not be fooled. This is the next Nocturnal Animals. You will leave the theater asking what the fuck just happened and how fast you can leave. And yes there will be spoilers because I am saving you two hours of your life.

Friday, October 13, 2017

The Review: Big Mouth

Big Mouth 9/10

Jasmine suggested I watch this series Big Mouth on Netflix and said that if I was not into it in the first five minutes to stop. I begrudgingly gave it a try and am so happy I did because this show was so damned wrong in every sense of the word but had me cracking up laughing. I had seen posters for this and ads but did not like the animation style so I was not willing to give it a shot but Jasmine knows what makes me laugh so I watched this entire season in two days.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

The Review: Batman And Harley Quinn

Batman And Harley Quinn 2/10

I love how so many people love the character of Harley Quinn and the response by movie makers is to just fuck her up and make her act stupid. I finally remembered that Batman And Harley Quinn was a movie that was made and checked it out tonight. I could have easily missed this and been fine with my life. DC has managed to make a lot of shitty animated films lately with really good art and voice acting. But, my lord, whoever is writing their stories needs to stop. I'm not quite sure who they are for. If it is for new fans then all the in-jokes in this will make no sense and as a fan of the original animated series this was just insulting.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Review: Shot Caller

Shot Caller 8/10

There will be some spoilers, ya babies. Jasmine has been telling me to watch this movie Shot Caller for a while and tonight I finally did and I am so glad. This was a cool ass movie and reinforced my belief that I would not make it far in prison before getting killed for being stupid or killing myself because I love shitting in private too much. This stars Nikolaj Coster-Waldau from Game Of Thrones as Jacob Harlon aka Money. He is a normal ass guy with a normal ass job and normal ass wife and kid. But you don't see that at first. We see him being released from prison looking all kinds of rough and meeting up with Jon Bernthal aka Frank (not Castle) and Emory Cohen from that great movie Brooklyn. Money comes out with a reputation, ends up at a party where a girl gets shot, and goes on the run. This is his first damned night out!

The Review: Patchwork/Salt & Fire

Patchwork 0/10

I watch a lot of movies. That means that I watch a lot of bad movies because they can't all be good. A few days ago I managed to watch two movies that I couldn't even finish they were so bad. The first was Patchwork. Three girls wake up to find that they have been sewn together by someone. They each control different parts of the body but can not get along because women. I have no idea how this garbage ends because I think I made it about twenty minutes in before remembering that I have way more entertaining things to watch than bullshit like this. It was not cool, funny, or even interesting. I like a bad film that can at least be funny in its bad but this was not one of them.

Monday, October 2, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Morning Mix

Over the last few mornings I have been working on songs as soon as I woke up. I heard on some podcast a while back about how the brain functions differently after waking up. It's true. I come up with weirder ideas when I wake up. Ask me why I'm single. I decided to do some remixes of Michael Jackson, The Bangles, Gwen Stefani, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, The Ting Tings and a few more. Hope you like some of them. I aso make music for headphones. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Sunday, October 1, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Tender Loving Care

I was out of the house for a few hours and had to make up for it with something so I did a remix of Michael Jackson's song PYT. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Friday, September 29, 2017

D And J DJ's Episode 4

D & J DJ's has returned! This time Jasmine has brought some Cardi B. and Yo Gotti to horrify me with She also introduces me to For The Dick/Pussy Challenge which meant that I had to make my own version. Click here for previous episodes. 

Thursday, September 28, 2017

The Review: The Hunt For Red October, Elvis & Nixon, The Ghost And The Darkness

The Hunt For Red October 8/10

Over the last few days I have been watching a lot of movies. The first was The Hunt For Red October. I was in the same room this was playing when I was younger in school but paid zero attention to it. All I knew was that Sean Connery was in it. Imagine my surprise and joy while watching this with J-Ro and finding out that he was speaking with a Russian accent and sometimes in Russian. That shit was hilarious! This movie was not what I assumed it was about. This dude came across as this crazy ass captain of a submarine but had an amazing plan that should not have worked if not for the help and understanding of a young Alec Baldwin who owned all of the chest hair. Like, all of it. I said while watching that he had more hair on his chest than my entire body. Then it was pointed out that men with a lot of body hair had a lot of testosterone. I then looked at my hairless arms and continued watching the movie. If you haven't seen this, all three of you, check this out.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

The Review: Lady Bloodfight

Lady Bloodfight 3/10

This is how IMDB describes Lady Bloodfight. “A blond American woman arrives in Asia. On arrival she is beaten up by thugs. She asks a fighter girl to train her - but really, she wants to take part in a tournament. Plenty of girls, of all races, fighting action.” By the way, Black chick? Taken out with one kick. She literally has the shortest fight in this movie. Just saying. Full disclosure, I watched this because I thought it was starring the Pink Ranger Amy Jo Johnson. I was wrong. It's Amy Johnston. She's still hot though so it was cool. She ends up heading to fight in a deadly tournament after getting fired after beating a customer up and then doing it again after he attacks her with his friends.

The Review: Moana/Kubo And The Two Strings

Moana 9/10

I decided to finally start plowing through my Netflix list and watched Moana. As you can tell by the score I fucking loved this movie. I'm not sure why I waited so long to see this. Hmm. Maybe because it takes a lot for me to get interested in animated movies these days. This is about a chief's daughter on a Polynesian island where her entire life she just wants to leave and go across the sea. Her dad is like “Fuck all that!” while her grandmother encourages her. As she grows up with the water being one of her friends along with a pig and an insane chicken that is close to the star of this movie she eventually sets sail after she finds out that the island is slowly dying.

My Song Of The Week: Pennywise

After seeing that movie IT last week I decided to make a creepy, circus type song. I like the way it came out. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Saturday, September 23, 2017

The Review: Message From The King/Little Evil

Message From The King 2/10

I watched this movie Message From The King on Netflix. I started yesterday and finished today. It was a struggle. It stars Chadwick Boseman aka Black Panther who gets a call from his sister in Los Angeles needing help from him. He heads there and ends up finding out that she is dead. She got mixed up with some bad drug dealers, bad boyfriend, bad movie producers, bad bad men, and bad dentists. She pretty much came to the city to die. He goes around beating the shit out of everyone with a bike chain and moral support from a single mother that gives blowjobs in a hotel room while her kid is at school.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Theater Whore: IT

IT 9/10

This movie was awesome. Oh, there will be spoilers, ya big babies. H. and I headed to the Arclight and got to check out IT. I have never read the book and barely watched the first one because we watched it in class. Yeah. That's the kind of school I went to. I say this to point out that I have no emotional attachment to this movie and no concerns whether or not it was as good as the first or if it stuck to the source material of the book. I just wanted it to not suck and not only did it not suck this was one of the best movies I've seen this year.

Friday, September 15, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Retrograde

Well, it's actually an album of the week. A few days ago I completed a mixtape called Retrograde that I'd been thinking about with songs using sound effects and the themes of classic video games. There is some Pac-Man, some Mario Bros., some Zelda. All kinda random shit. It was fun to do. If you don't like a song just skip it. I won't be sad. Disappointed, yeah. But not sad. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

The Review: Legion

Legion 10/10

I decided to take a small break from watching Ozark after this cute woman at work suggested I check out the FX series Legion. If a cute woman tells me to do something, be it watch a show or go to hell, I'll do it. I knew it existed and had zero interest in watching it. Some of the reasons why were because it was X-Men related and fuck that franchise (click here to read my bitching about it) and everything associated with it. Another was that the trailer did not make me interested in even checking out a single episode. I know who Legion is. He's Professor X's crazy ass son who tried to spend more time with his dad so he went back in time and tried to kill Magneto and ended up shooting his dad instead and fucked up the Marvel timeline meaning making it cooler. Why in the fuck would I want to watch a show about him?

Thursday, September 7, 2017

10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched Game Of Thrones Season 7

Game Of Thrones is halfway done with its final season and while I am pissed that it's ending I am happy that every single episode has been incredible and useful. Normally they will have throwaway episodes each season like when Bran is on screen for more than five minutes being spooky. But not this time! This time they were like “Fuck everything. People are gonna die. Creatures are gonna become zombies. Swords bursts into flames. Nephews fuck aunties. It's wild.”

Another thing I liked was that they gave no fucks about the next series of books that may never come out and are just writing a show which upsets readers of the book which makes me laugh. Sometimes I have trouble separating books/comics/graphic novels from TV shows/movies but since I have never read a page of the books I don't care but its funny listening to readers get upset. It's cool knowing some backstory to some characters but for the most part I don't give a fuck about the books and just want to watch a cool show and can ignore things like how fast they travel the land. Now here are 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched Game Of Thrones Season 7.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Big As A Whale

Last week I was feeling weird and decided to do a song that has The B-52's, Gotye, Katy Perry, and The Darkness in it. I like the way this came out. Its very loud. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week

The Review: The Assignment

The Assignment 2/10

I watched the comedy of the year on Netflix yesterday called The Assignment starring Michelle Rodriguez and Sigourney Weaver. I'm not sure who needed to pay off a loan but neither of these ladies should have wasted their time making this dumpster fire. There will be spoilers which you should thank me for because then you can spend your time watching cool shit. This is about a hitman named Frank Kitchen played by Rodriguez. You can ignore the stupid name but you will not be able to ignore Rodriguez with prosthetic makeup to look like a guy. She looks like Benecio Del Toro in Sin City but in color which makes it look way worse. She is known for being one of the best killers out there you can hire but for some reason doesn't get paid all that much.

Friday, August 25, 2017

The Review: Death Note

Death Note 2/10

I had photos ready and was gonna write a long review about Death Note that premiered on Netflix and then I realized that it was not worth the trouble. I've never watched the anime this was based off of so I have no attachments to it. I know what it is and the premise and that's about it. Some kid finds a book that gives him the ability to kill people just by writing their name down. In this series this weak ass guy that is supposed to be in high school but looks way older but really is not gets the book one day while sitting outside looking weak. It falls from the sky and a demon shows up telling him some rules of the book which of course he tries to bend and shit. This girl he likes wants to be with him as they find criminals and have them die.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

The Review: The Defenders

The Defenders 2/10

You can't play a Punisher trailer after the wet turd that was The Defenders and expect me to be excited. I just finished forcing myself, yes forcing myself, to finish this first and hopefully last season of The Defenders on Netflix. I don't even know where to start because I have a whole bag of bitching and my gloves are too big to pull them out. Let me start off with what I did like about the show though first. The stuff with Luke Cage was cool. Pre-Defenders stuff. The music was good, the action, the stories. It felt like I was watching a second season of his show which made me happy 'cause I loved the first one so much I proposed to it but it rejected me because I don't have stable employment. Cage, Claire, and Misty Knight are good. But then they decided to go with this wack ass screen wipe to show they were gonna head to another character. Like goddamn Iron Fist.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Random Remixes

I have been working on some more remixes the last few nights. I did a remix of Foreigner Double Vision, Rancid Ruby Soho, and The Eagles Hotel California. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

The Review: The Defiant Ones

The Defiant Ones 10/10

Perfect! I watched the documentary The Defiant Ones on HBO Now (which is a great app but set up terribly) and loved every damned hour of it. It is set up in four parts chronicling the lives and careers and how they crossed paths of Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine. Also proud that I now know how to pronounce the name Iovine and what the hell a music producer even does. Before watching I thought they were just kinda names attached to things that don't really do anything but lend their famous names. This starts off at the end and works its way back around in such a clever way that I didn't get annoyed that the story switched up.

My Song Of The Week: That's What You Get

A few days ago I decided to try making a dance song. Some long ass song where the beat is loud and changes up. Then I found a clip from a song that fit and ended up adding a few more. I ended up adding The Rolling Stones, Beach Boys, and Bon Jovi. Its weird but I like it. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Theater Whore: Atomic Blonde

Atomic Blonde 1/10

There will be some spoilers. I was so excited to see this movie based off of the trailers and finally got my chance today. Atomic Blonde is a dumpster fire. If you wanna see Charlize Theron punching people, shooting people, stabbing people, and getting her ass kicked then you'll love this movie. It takes place in 1989 aka the 80's which I was not aware of. That means that every single fucking scene has a new song that starts playing. It was cool for two songs but by the end you start hearing different versions of the same songs being played. It wasn't cool. Speaking of which, this entire movie seems to scream “Isn't this shot cool?! Look at that lighting! Oh, did you see that?! Wasn't that cool looking?! Everything looks so cool!”

Thursday, August 3, 2017

The Review: Star Wars Rogue One

Star Wars Rogue One 2/10

I did not enjoy this movie. Full disclosure and as some of you may know, I did not grow up watching Star Wars. Knew what it was, had some toys, but did not see the movies until I was older and watched them in in order of Episode 1 through Episode 6 which Star Wars fans say you should never do. Too late. I did it. I was also confused waiting for that Black Storm Trooper to show up and then realized that I was watching the wrong movie. Either way I was already in and forcing myself to finish this one. I won't bother listing who is in it or anything like that because I don't feel like it. The basic premise is a girl's father helped create the Death Star, he leaves, her mom dies, she is abandoned by someone that was supposed to take care of her, she is arrested, she is forced to care about the war, she joins the war and helps them win.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Skin Tight Jeans

Tonight I did a remix of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream titled Skin Tight Jeans. I'm not a huge fan of her but I'll be damned if she doesn't stay on tempo perfectly. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Wednesday, July 26, 2017

My Song Of The Week: The Mixes

Here is a set of some of the remixes that I have done over the last few weeks. I've done some other songs that I'll load soon. This contains Set My Soul On Fire which is a Muse remix, No Can Do which is a Hall & Oates remix, a Game of Thrones remix called The Throne, and I Just Wanted To Hold which is another Muse one. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Theater Whore: Baby Driver

Baby Driver 10/10

If I rated movies higher than 10 Baby Driver would have been the first to get it. I fucking loved this movie. I decided to check this out today because I was just sitting here and was gonna dick around when I remembered that I had wanted to see this in theaters. I figured that I'd like this because I like Edgar Wright's previous movies but I had no idea that I would not want this movie to end and want to see it again as soon as it was over.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

The Review: Black Mirror Season Two

Black Mirror Season Two 9/10

I swear, this show Black Mirror managed to jack me up every single episode. Just when I thought I knew where the story was going I would not only be wrong, but wrong and left feeling like an asshole. There are some episodes in particular that made me feel stupid for feeling a certain way the entire episode until the last ten minutes. This season had three episodes just like the first as well as a bonus Christmas episode that I'll include. I am so glad these are all on Netflix. From talking to folks that are afraid to watch this show its because of that pig episode in the first season. Come on, people. That is the very first episode of the first season. They ain't all that bad. I mean, it was a crazy good episode but fucked up. There will be some spoilers, you babies.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Theater Whore: Spider-Man Homecoming

Spider-Man Homecoming 9 ½/10

Oh, I had all of the fun watching Spider-Man Homecoming! There will be some spoilers in this. I'm not gonna review this like I do other movies and cover it completely or anything. This movie is everything that as a fan of Tom Holland in Civil War and rated Holland as the best Spider-Man that I wanted. He was nerdy, he lacked confidence, had a great support group, and wasn't hated by everyone. This movie also had a really good supporting cast. It wasn't just about Spider-Man struggling with his powers and being hated by everyone in the city. He was an actual friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man which is something all other five films failed to do. People would see him and get hype and then ask him to do tricks. It also showed that crime is not always happening and sometimes there isn't even when Spider-Man thinks there is.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

The Review: Castlevania

Castlevania 8/10

I decided to take a break from watching the second season of Black Mirror and feeling weird an check out the new Netflix Castlevania series. I played the video game back in the 80's but I'm not married to it and didn't follow it throughout its many incantations. I say this to point out that I have no idea where the story went so I'm not upset whether or not this one stays true to whatever happened in the games. This starts with this lady finding Dracula and trying to convince him to learn more about humanity and he'll teach her science. It works but backfires when the church burns her ass at the stake. Dracula finds out and he is like “Fuck everything!” and gives folks a year to make peace with their god before he returns and kills them all. He does. Its violent as fuck.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

The Review: Okja

Okja 10/10

There will be a lot of spoilers in this. I need to stop saying that and just say don't read movies reviews until after you've watched shit if you are worried about it being ruined. I gave it a 10/10. Watch it. I loved this fucking movie! Okay, I had no idea what this movie was about before I started watching it. Coworker said she could not watch it because of it making you not want to eat meat anymore to which I responded watching Super Size Me and wanting McDonald's and eating a burger while watching Food Inc. You can't stop me from eating meat. I saw a big pig with a city on its back with a little girl and the title Okja. That was the extent of my knowledge of this movie. I was excited to watch it and not even sure why but I am so glad that I did.

Friday, June 30, 2017

The Review: American Gods Episode 8 "Come To Jesus"

American Gods Episode 8 “Come To Jesus”/Season 1 Review 9/10

I am late writing this, I know. This is going to be a review of the final episode of season one of American Gods as well as the entire season. Some of you may be confused as to why I gave this season a 9 out of 10 considering I was all over this show like a cheap suit. Well, it was because of the seventh episode which was hot garbage and had about four seconds of footage that was relevant to anything. In a show that features only eight episodes you can not afford to have one that useless.

Episode eight starts off finally showing the story of Bilquis' fine ass and how she rolled before shoving men and women into her vajayjay in hotel rooms. Oh, this is told by Anansi by the way who I like even more after reading Neil Gaiman's “Anansi Boys.” He is talking to Mr. Wednesday and Shadow. Bilquis, the Queen of Sheba, is running shit back in the day and having cuddle puddles with dozens of men and women. Guys try to step up and bone her and she is all like “Bring it.” They do and then an eclipse happens and the next thing you know they all get melted and sucked into her lady parts. Its wild.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Branded

Late at work I started working on a song and it ended up coming out better than I had anticipated. I had fun with this one. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Monday, June 19, 2017

The Review: American Gods Episode 7 "A Prayer For Mad Sweeney"

American Gods “A Prayer For Mad Sweeney”

Wow. After six incredible episodes American Gods finally put out an episode that was not just uninteresting, but bad. “A Prayer For Mad Sweeney” was one of the most uninteresting hours of television I've seen in a while which sucks because it seemed to begin as if it were going to be pretty awesome by showing the work of Ibis an Jacquel. But no. It starts off with them working in the morgue and then switches to this long boring ass story about some woman in Ireland named Essie McGowan in the past that is played by Emily Browning.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Ross Radio Show 175

I was talking to Miss Jackie the other day and she said I needed to do a show featuring Run The Jewels so here it is. This is by far my favorite rappers right now (followed closely by Royce Da 5'9”). I play Blockbuster Night Part 1, Lie Cheat Steal, All Due Respect, Talk To Me, Legend Has It, Nobody Speak, Get It, and Call Ticketron. Click here for previous Ross Radio Shows.

Friday, June 9, 2017

The Review: American Gods Episode 6 "A Murder Of Gods"

American Gods “A Murder of Gods”

Another week another kick ass episode of American Gods. This one, “A Murder Of Gods”, starts off not with some weird animated story or something from thousands of years ago but a group of people trying to get across the border from Mexico to the US. I kept wondering “Where is this going?” The group, men, women, and children, survive a river and just when they get to land one of them almost drowns in the water. A hand reaches down and pulls him out. The guy then starts walking on water because its Jesus! Like, for reals Jesus. It was nuts! Then a group of guys in trucks with guns with ironically (or not) bible verses on them shoot and kill them all including Jesus who dies in the most Jesus Christ pose ever.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Theater Whore: Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 5/10

I decided to watch Wonder Woman despite saying I wouldn't. If you've read my movie reviews this is not something new. I tend to shit on movies and end up watching them. This movie has such a simple premise that it makes no sense to say there will be spoilers. It also has a lot of actors that I won't bother naming because there are a lot of “that guy from that film” character actors in this. The story is pretty much Wonder Woman, aka Princess Diana, played by Gal Gadot leaves Themyscira after a plane carrying Trevor Rogers played by Chris Pine lands there. She saves his ass and then leaves with him to see the world and kill ze Germans.

Monday, June 5, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Steel Punch 3 Ladies Night Theme

The other day I was messing around making a song and ended up trashing it and starting again and ended up making this. By the time I finished I thought "This is for another soundtrack!" This is the start of Steel Punch 3: Ladies Night. One day I will draw the characters for this video game that does not exist. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Sunday, June 4, 2017

The Review: American Gods Episode 5 “Lemon Scented You”

American Gods Episode 5 “Lemon Scented You”

American Gods continues to be awesome. Episode five, “Lemon Scented You”, was Shadow finally coming to the realization that the crazy shit happening around him is actually real. But first the episode starts off with this beautifully animated, I am assuming stop motion, short showing a tribe crossing from Siberia to America thousands of years ago led by a woman name Atsula. They worship a mammoth god named Nunyunnini. Over time the people end up in other tribes to the point where the god and the people are forgotten. This leads perfectly to the story of this episode concerning Mr. Wednesday and his fear of the old gods being forgotten.

Saturday, June 3, 2017

The Review: Blazing Saddles

Blazing Saddles 8/10

Blazing Saddles is one of those movies where I have heard a lot of gags and seen some of them in other films or referenced but never sat down and watch the actual film itself. I finally did and am glad I did because this movie had me laughing my ass off. It stars Cleavon Little as a prisoner named Bart that is made the sheriff of a small town. Why? Because they figured that as soon as he arrived that he would be killed and then they could then plow right through the town with their train tracks. I laughed my ass off when he arrived and as the town all whipped guns out on him he took himself hostage and went into the sheriff's station. He finds the Waco Kid played by Gene Wilder in his cell hanging by his ankles form the top bunk drunk.

Friday, June 2, 2017

The Review: I Am Not Your Negro

I Am Not Your Negro 9/10

This is not the land of the free, only very unwillingly and sporadically the land of the brave. I decided to watch this tonight not knowing what it was about or anything. I am glad that I did. I did not feel that same sense of hopeless dread I did after watching 13th. I couldn't even rate that movie. This movie, to me, is about American history as much as it is about the history of Black people in America. James Baldwin even points out that his ancestors did not ask or want to come to this country. This is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. Don't let that turn you off if you are someone that doesn't enjoy him. He doesn't distract from this whatsoever.

Friday, May 26, 2017

The Review: War Machine

War Machine 3/10

Damn I wish this movie could have made up its mind. War Machine debuted on Netflix tonight and I was really looking forward to seeing it. It has a great cast with people like Brad Pitt, Anthony Michael Hall, Topher Grace, Tilda Swinton, Ben Kingsley, Keith Stanfield, and Emory Cohen. So many good people but it seemed like this movie couldn't decide if it was a satire or not. It bounced back and forth so many times that when something seemingly funny happened it was jarring compared to what was being said. The best part of this was the first fifteen minutes and the last half hour because it picked a tone and stuck with it. I would love to see two different versions of this. One comedic and the other as a serious war movie because the actual battle, the last half hour, was done really well. This movie just points out the silliness of the wars this country has had in the Middle East. And someone please tell Pitt to stop using that voice from Inglorious Basterds. This was long and disappointing.

Click here for previous The Review.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Review: American Gods Episode 4 "Git Gone"

American Gods “Git Gone”

Oh, American Gods, you got me good! I thought that this week, episode four “Git Gone” was the first misstep of this series and that you would have a blemish on your record. I was so damned wrong. This picked up right where the previous episode left off with Shadow Moon's dead wife sitting on the bed in his hotel room. How did she get there? What did she do? What the hell is she?! Before any of that gets answered we get taken back in time to before she even met Shadow and what kinda person she was. Turns out she was pretty damned miserable.

You Had One Job: Tom Hardy As Venom

Yesterday I heard that there was a Venom movie being made. My reaction was “Why?” Its not that I don't like Venom. He was cool when I was in junior high but its been years since I gave a damn about the character in any way. For those that don't know who he is I'll give a silly quick overview. Venom is an alien known as a Symbiote that attached to Spider-Man and once Spider-Man realized what it was he got rid of it and Eddie Brock, who worked with Peter Parker and hated him, bonded with it and became Venom. I wondered how this was going to tie into the new Spider-Man movies done by Marvel but worried because they were jumping the gun. I'll get into that later.

Then I heard that Tom Hardy, who is bae number three, was going to play him and I literally shook my head. He was supposed to be in that Suicide Squad movie but left thankfully and I was wondering when he would hop into one of these Marvel movies. I just didn't think it would be as Venom and I sure as hell didn't think it would be in Sony's grubby ass hands. See, the problem is that Sony finally released Spider-Man over to Marvel Studios which is why he was in that last Captain America Civil War movie played by Tom Holland. In the small amount of time he was on screen he was the best Spider-Man in film (click here where I rank them). These films will not be connected so...its just a Venom film? I'll pass.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

The Review: Man Vs. Snake

Man Vs. Snake 8/10

Whoever would have thought that a documentary about a 80's video game that I never heard of could be so damned good? Man Vs. Snake is about the quest to get the world record in this game called Nibbler. I grew up playing a lot of video game sin arcades as a child and never heard of this one. The modern equivalent of it is called Snake. In 1984 in the small town of Ottumwa, Iowa a 16 year old kid named Tim McVey (not the terrorist as they point out) spent two days playing the game and set a world record for it. He got a key to the city and everything. It was a big deal. The way the game is set up if you have enough lives you can take a break and just let the character die for a few minutes.