Friday, April 28, 2017

Theater Whore: Colossal


Colossal 9/10

This fucking movie. I swear. I did not expect so many movies to come out this year that would blow me away out of nowhere. Free Fire did it. Now this one has. Colossal is a movie I heard a review about and thought nothing of it really. I knew the stars of it from other movies and TV shows but it didn't seem that interesting. But then I decided to say fuck it and check this out. This movie was nothing like what I was expecting and I am not going to spoil all of it because I want folks to see this and be as surprised as I was at things that happened.

Everything You Need To Know About The Kardashian's


Everyone knows who the Kardashian's are. Even when you pretend to not know you know you know who they are. At least one of them. I like this family the same way I like watching Fail Blog videos online. No matter how much I think I know where its gonna end it ends up somewhere far worse and hilarious. I am going to try and give you all a lesson on who these people are and why they are famous because people tend to ask why. After reading this you will be able to have interesting conversations at gatherings that don't end in arguments. Seriously. As silly as this shit may be it is far more interesting than your political views and talking about your wack ass job. We don't know your coworkers! I'll start with the man that got this party started.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

My Song Of The Week: The Pop


I made a album of remixes of classic songs titled The Pop. There is Party Line (Pink), Sit Back And Wait (Barenaked Ladies), Better Run (Foster The People), People Keep Talking (Alicia Keys), The Simple Life (Van Halen), The Last Time (Boston), Be There When You Wake (Blind Melon), Will She Stand Alone (Stone Temple Pilots), Falling (Phoenix), Life Taker (Weezer), and Movie Yourself (Yes). Click here for previous My Song Of The Week. For whatever reason when loaded as a playlist they get jumbled up Into alphabetical order. 

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Theater Whore: Get Out


Get Out 10/10

This will have spoilers because I have so much to say about the movie Get Out. I remember last year watching the trailer for this and going “I must see this movie with a White person!” I got my wish! They weren't with me but four White ladies were in the audience when I saw this at the AMC. They probably saw me and were like “Aw, fuck...” After twenty minutes of trailers (this movie theater needs to stop that) I was ready to jump, laugh, and think way harder than I planned on. This was directed by Jordan Peele and I am excited to see what he does next. At the start a guy looking for directions and scared to be in a suburban neighborhood is choked out and kidnapped and thrown into the trunk of a car by a masked man. This stars Daniel Kaluuya as Chris Washington. He and his girlfriend of five months Rose Armitage played by Allison Williams plan to go visit her family for the first time. Chris asks her if they know he is Black and she assures him that they wont mind even though he is her first Black boyfriend.

Monday, April 24, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Time To Be Gone


Last week I did a remix of Led Zeppelin's song Ramble On titled Time To Be Gone. This was far more difficult than I'd anticipated to remix. Trying to find a beat that stuck, removing seconds of audio to match it up. It was a mess but I like how it turned out. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.
 

Who Should Be Batgirl?


There has been a lot of talk recently about a Batgirl movie written and/or directed by Joss Whedon. He previously worked on the Marvel movies The Avengers and Age of Ultron as well as creating the series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Dollhouse, Angel, and Agents Of SHIELD. I actually gave up on watching most of those shows. Everyone is all “He is so good at writing women characters! Girl power!” and all that shit. I get it. To me its more important who plays Batgirl. And stop saying Emma Stone just because she has red hair, you non-creative bastards. He hair is actually blonde by the way. She dyes it red.

For those that don't know, Batgirl has been played by many characters in the comics. Four that are known. She was created in 1961 an her name was Betty Kane but six years later returned played by Barbara Gordon which is the one most know her as. She was played by Alicia Silverstone in that terrible ass Batman & Robin movie in the 90's but we won't talk about that. Yvonne Craig played her in the 1967 series. After being paralyzed and likely sexually assaulted by The Joker in The Killing Joke she returned as the wheelchair bound Oracle helping Batman and everyone including her own team Birds Of Prey. Years later she was able to walk again.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Theater Whore: Free Fire


Free Fire 9/10

There will be some spoilers. The new movie Free Fire was what I wanted and more. I saw the trailer for this last year and wondered where the hell it went. Well, it came out today and I used an AMC gift card I got for my birthday last month to head on over to the Century City AMC. I had not seen a movie here in years and they have really improved it. In the trailer its just a warehouse full of people shooting at each other. Guess what? That is a large portion of this movie. Just a bunch of folks shooting at each other. After almost 25 minutes of trailers the movie started. I shit you not. There were that many trailers and I could probably tell you about two of the ones I saw.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Theater Whore: Fate Of The Furious


Fate Of The Furious 9/10

There will be spoilers. This morning I headed to The Arclight (The Dome really) and checked out Fate Of The Furious. I hadn't been in that part of the theater in a long ass time. I have really liked this movies since the fifth one (click here, here, and here for previous reviews of the Furious films) and was looking forward to this one so much. I saw a submarine in the trailer and said fuck everything. I have to see this as soon as it comes out. The entire cast is back for this one as well as some surprises and great additions. Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, the lovely Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese, Ludacris, hot ass Nathalie Emmanuel, Kurt Russell, too handsome Scott Eastwood shows up, and magical beam of light Charlize Theron is the newest villain and by god she is evil as fuck!

Thursday, April 13, 2017

The Review: Kevin Hart What Now?


Kevin Hart What Now? 8/10

I am so glad that What Now? with Kevin Hart was funny. I did not enjoy Let Me Explain a few years back and thought that maybe Hart had lost his funny for me but this damn thing had me cracking up a lot. I recently watched Louis CK and Dave Chappelle's latest specials which were funny as fuck so this one had an uphill battle coming in. I laughed a bunch of times during this and was even into the short film at the start and end of this starring Hart and Halle Berry. How dare she still be so hot? Its a James Bond spoof where even Don Cheadle shows up and had me cracking up when Hart made fun of him as Black Iron Man. Its an actual good action film. Please don't make it a full film.

The Review: Set it Off


Set It Off 4/10

For months my cousin Jasmine has been asking me to watch the 1996 comedy Set It Off. This is about four women that decide to rob banks. They all have their own reasons. Jada Pinkett plays Lida “Stoney” Newsome. She is trying to raise money for her brother to go to college so you can guess what's gonna happen to him. Queen Latifah is Cleopatra “Cleo” Sims who plays a female Ice Cube. Vivica Fox plays Francesca “Frankie” Sutton. And Kimberly Elise plays Tisean “T.T Williams. What is with these damned names?

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Theater Whore: Ghost In The Shell


Ghost In The Shell 2/10

In all the controversy surrounded the new Ghost In The Shell movie people seem to be overlooking the most important fact: this movie was dull as hell. Its a movie where every once in a while I went “Oh, that looks kinda cool.” Other than that it just felt like a convoluted mess. I was not a huge fan of the anime and recently watched one of them on Netflix having no emotional attachment. But I am a huge fan of Scarlett Johansson. I am also not plagued by having problems with one race portraying another. Yeah. I'll be getting into that soon enough. So I was the perfect person to watch this movie and give it a fair shake.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

The Review: Teen Titans The Judas Contract


Teen Titans: The Judas Contract 4/10

I don't know why the animated DC films keep getting worse. There used to be a thing where Marvel made good live action and terrible animated ones and DC had good animated ones and bad live action. Now DC is just batting out on both ends and it sucks. This new Teen Titans: The Judas Contract is their latest animated movie and it stunk and was confusing. It starts off with a flashback of the Teen Titans back when Starfire first joins the team. Not sure why this was needed but they did it. It then goes to the present with Nightwing hanging with the new team from the previous Teen Titans vs. Justice League movie except they have another member, Terra.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

The Review: GLOW The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling


GLOW The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling 9/10

I watched the documentary of Glow: The Story Of The Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling and I'll be damned if I didn't learn a lot of new information. Most documentaries are like “Wow. Its rough being Black. Oh. America sure did a lot of shady shit during World War 2. Damn. Sex used to be boring.” This one shows the history of GLOW from its very beginning to how they gathered a roster of young women and somehow got them to become wrestlers without telling them that they were auditioning for a wrestling based series.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Good For Me


I know it has been a while since I posted a song or remix I've done but its not because I haven't been doing any. I have done a lot of songs since my last post but just don't post them here much anymore. I need to fix that. I did a remix of Marvin Gaye's song Sexual Healing titled Good For Me. I was adding and taking away so many beats and ended up stripping it down. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

 

Friday, March 31, 2017

The Review: No Retreat No Surrender


No Retreat No Surrender 6/10

If you had asked me a few days ago what the movie No Retreat No Surrender was about I'd say that some kid got karate lessons from Bruce Lee's ghost and ended up beating up Jean-Claude Van Damme. And I would have been kind of right. There is so much more to this movie. I remembered it being an awesome fighting movie with cool moves and shit. I was so wrong. Some movies just do not age well. This is one. This guy named Jason has a father that teaches karate. Kung fu. Martial arts. Whatever the fuck it is its not effective in real life. Some mobsters and JCVD as Ivan the Russian show up wanting the school because apparently that is their new racket. His father says no and proceeds to get his ass kicked and his leg snapped.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The Review: Hap And Leonard Season 1


Hap And Leonard 9/10

I had seen that Netflix had this Sundance Channel produced series called Hap And Leonard and ignored it for a couple months. Seriously, the name of the show alone made it sound like some show about rednecks. Even the description seemed uninteresting to me. Then I saw that Michael K. Williams was in it and decided to give it a chance not knowing that it is based off a series of books or anything. This show is ridiculously good. Its about two guys named Hap and Leonard. Williams plays Leonard Pine who is a gay Vietnam vet and Hap Collins is a draft dodger played by James Purefoy. They are best friends who are very different from one another but their friendship seems so real. They have the kind of chemistry that people on other shows and movies can only dream of.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

The Review: Iron Fist


Iron Fist 4/10

There will be spoilers. Man, they really managed to bone this series. Over the last two and a half days I watched the new Netflix series Iron Fist. This show was not as bad as some of the reviews I read afterward because there were people ready to hate this show no matter what. I was not a fan of any of the characters that Netflix has been making shows based off of but have watched them all and besides half the second season of Daredevil I have enjoyed them. Jessica Jones was good. Luke Cage was amazing. The first season of Daredevil was good. So I gave this show the same chance because I am not looking to be not entertained. What made me give this a 4 out of 10 instead of less were the characters from the shows I just mentioned showing up.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The Review: Centurion


Centurion 2/10

My name is Quintus Dias. I am a soldier of Rome, and this is neither the beginning, nor the end of my story.” Boring! I checked this movie out on Netflix called Centurion after a couple of lists said that it was good and pretty much being ignored. It stars Michael Fassbender and has some other actors I have liked in other things. This is one of those stories about Romans and fighting and an excuse to try to be some light version of Game of Thrones. The fights are super bloody and the story is weak as hell. I shit you not, I was almost half an hour in before I realized that who I thought were supposed to be the good guys were not. It was not until I listened to the music being played when certain characters died that I thought “Oh, you're the good ones.” This movie was wack as hell and you so do not need to waste time watching it. It was made for no reason.

Click here for previous The Review.

Friday, March 10, 2017

The Review: 10 Cloverfield Lane


10 Cloverfield Lane 9/10

There will be some spoilers. It sucks that the fact that this movie had Cloverfield in it kept me from seeing 10 Cloverfield Lane last year. It seems like this came out more than a year ago. This movie did not have shay camera movements that made me wanna close my eyes just to not throw up. It also had an awesome story and the fact that there were pretty much three people carrying this made it that much better. This stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Michelle. She is driving down the road after leaving her fiance behind. While she is driving all of a sudden her car flips off of the road and she wakes up in a basement with an IV in her arm, her leg damaged, oh, and its chained to the damned wall.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

You Had One Job: X-Men Film Franchise


I am going to try to simultaneously explain why the X-Men movie franchise is garbage and try to make sense of its time line at the same time. This is difficult considering how many films that have been made, reboots, retelling, actor changes, and general not giving a fuck by the writers and directors. I recently watched the latest film, Logan, and just threw my arms in the air. There were things said in the movie that made no sense (Xavier did not find Wolverine cage fighting!) and just further convoluted this series. There will be a lot of focus on the Logan/Wolverine character because he linchpins this entire series. Let's see how far I get into this before my head explodes and my face melts off.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

The Review: The Jungle Book


The Jungle Book 7/10

I got around to watching the live action version of The Jungle Book expecting to not enjoy it for some reason. I had it sitting in my Netflix queue just wondering if I would ever get around to watching it. I did and really liked it. It took me a little bit to get used to the way some of the animals looked but once I did I was all in. This is about a kid named Mowgli...I am not going to tell you what The Jungle Book is about, you weirdos. Kid raised by wolves, begins to act a bit too human for animals taste, and is led towards a place where he can be left.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Theater Whore: Logan


Logan 3/10

There will definitely be some spoilers. I finally watched the latest Wolverine/X-Men movie Logan. I was shocked by how much I was not impressed with it considering so many reviews I watched slobbered all over its knob. It was just fine. Not impressive, fun, exciting, or anything special. It was just fine to me. I think I would have enjoyed this more if I didn't have almost two decades of shitty X-Men films in my head because even though they “rebooted” them they continued to drag the same dog shit on their shoes throughout the entire series.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

The Review: Sneaky Pete, F Is For Family, Peaky Blinders, The OA

Sneaky Pete 3/10


I plowed through a bunch of series the last month or so. Well, the first episode for most. There are so many shows now that I am no longer giving shows two to three episodes before tapping out. The first was Sneaky Pete starring Giovanni Ribisi. Camille had told me about this show a while back and could not stand it. I decided to check it out and while I did not hate it as much as she did I found it rather boring. Its about a guy named Marius Josipovic that is a conman who gets out of prison and takes on the identity of a guy named Pete Murphy. He is on the run from a mob boss and hiding with Pete's real family that are bondsmen. I watched the first episode and could smell where this was headed. Then I watched the second and stopped halfway through because I just didn't care about this story or its characters. I wont bother ever finishing this and don't care another season is happening.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

The Review: Hell Or High Water


Hell Or High Water 8/10

I had heard about this movie Hell Or High Water a few months ago but didn't really make any effort to watch it. Mostly because between all the movies being cranked out at the end of the year and all the new TV shows and shit to watch some really good films fall between the cracks. This is one of those movies. It does not have a huge cast but the few people that the story focuses on bring their A game. It stars Chris Pine and Ben Foster as brothers Toby and Tanner Howard. Tanner just got out of prison (you find out what he did later) and they begin robbing banks in Texas.

Theater Whore: Hidden Figures


Hidden Figures 2/10

Are people afraid to say this movies sucks because it stars three Black women and you have to be careful about who you say sucks right now? I'm not. Hidden Figures sucked. I'm not talking shit about the accomplishments that these women made. I'm talking about the acting, the writing, and the music. God, the music. Okay. I need to get my shit in order. This movie has a cast of people that should be able to knock socks off and this should have been one of the best movies of the year but every ten seconds it felt like the screen should have had a subtitle that said “YOU ARE CURRENTLY WATCHING A MOVIE!” I never got lost in this for a second and my ass is able to do that with movies featuring talking trees in space with a best friend that is a raccoon.

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Review: The Accountant


The Accountant 7/10

There will be total spoilers. My cousin Jasmine has been telling me for months that I needed to finish watching The Accountant starring Ben Affleck. I started it a while ago and just could not get into it. Based on the trailer I expected this bad ass action movie with this autistic guy that could kick ass. Turns out I had to just watch it for about five more minutes than when I tapped out the first time because the movie picks right the fuck up and becomes something different.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

The Review: Justice League Vs. Teen Titans


Justice League Vs. Teen Titans 5/10

I found out that this Justice League Vs. Teen Titans movie came out last year. I try to keep up on all the new DC and Marvel animated movies and somehow this one slipped past me. This is a different take on the Teen Titans because this stuff is all based on that New 52 thing going on in DC. Or maybe it stopped. I don't know. Its all too complicated and one of the reasons I stopped reading comics. In this one Starfire is the leader of the Titans and everything that happens is new. The Justice League in this consists of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Cyborg, and The Flash. The whip some villain ass and Batman gets pissed because Damian Wayne aka Robin is a little shit and disobeys orders. He is sent to the Titans as punishment and to learn how to work with others.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Theater Whore: John Wick 2


John Wick 2 (9/10)

There will for sure be some spoilers. This morning I headed to Arclight on Sunset and watched John Wick 2 starring Keanu Reeves. Last night before bed I watched the first one and if you watch a movie like that before bed you will have some honked up ass dreams. This movie takes place shortly after the first ends and something I forgot about the first was how recently his wife had passed away before all hell broke loose. For those that have not seen the first film but for some odd ass reason decided to read a review about the second one here's the basic premise. A former professional killers wife suddenly dies. Shortly after she dies a puppy arrives that she had sent to him. These assholes show up, the main one being the son of one of Wick's former “boss”, beats the fuck out of Wick, kills the dog, and steals his car. The rest of the movie is pure revenge. Got it?

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

My Song Of The Week: The Codger


Over the last couple of weeks besides making my own songs up I have been doing some remixes of classic and somewhat older songs as well and called it The Codger. Here is what happened. See The Light (Child In Time by Deep Purple), Don't You Worry (Float On by Modest Mouse), Let It All Out (Shout by Tears For Fears), I'm So Glad (The Sign by Ace Of Bass), It Was Only A Kiss (Mr. Brightside by The Killers), Love Is A Feeling (Give In To Me by Michael Jackson), Jimmy's Town (Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue), and This Won't Hurt A Bit (Twisted Transistor by Korn). Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Review: Santa Clarita Diet


Santa Clarita Diet 8/10

I watched the new Netflix series Santa Clarita Diet. Watched. Hell, I plowed through it in about three days really. This show is good. If you liked the first few seasons of Dexter or Dead Like Me or movies like Shaun Of The Dead or Evil Dead this is right up your alley. Its that kind of humor and super gore. I didn't know much about this show but Cam mentioned something about the mom being a cannibal. There will be some spoilers in this review. Seriously. Don't read reviews if you're worried about spoilers. There are ten episodes and each one is about 29 minutes long so it flies on by.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Theater Whore: Fences


Fences 10/10

Yesterday after watching two shitty films in a row I was talking to Camille and told her that I needed to cleanse myself cinematically. Later, even though she is not feeling well, she asked if I wanted to go see Fences at The Arclight. The answer or course is hell's yes. I am glad that I knew nothing about this movie other than the two main stars and that there was a play about it. Other than that I had no attachments or anything to base it off of. I like that. Its hard to describe this movie without spoiling a bunch of it or even making it sound super interesting based on the premise because there ain't no explosions of nothing. Its just an incredibly well acted movie with a small cast.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

The Review: Yoga Hosers


Yoga Hosers 0/10

For some reason I decided to watch Yoga Hosers knowing good and damned well that this movie is not for me. Its not for me as a fan of cheesy movies, Kevin Smith who wrote and directed this, or as a fan of terrible shit. This movie sucked. I'm not even mad. I'm mostly confused. I'm not sure why this was made. Its connected with his last movie Tusk which I absolutely hated and even has some reoccurring characters. I'm not gonna bother listing who is in this. This wasn't funny to me, fun, or slightly entertaining. It just exists as this waste of space on my Netflix cue. After watching I read some reviews and laughed at how angry folks got. I save that kinda rage for movies like that garbage Boyhood.

Click here for previous The Review

The Review: iBoy


iBoy 1/10

My spell correct don't even like the title of this movie. I saw this was on Netflix and laughed at the cover above and saw Sansa was in it and decided to say “Fuck it. I'm adventurous.” This stars Bill Milner as a kid named Tom that likes a girl named Lucy played by Maisie Williams. One day while he is going to her place he notices she is being attacked or something and runs away and while running away he gets shot while calling the police. The phone explodes and he wakes up ten days later in the hospital with pieces of shrapnel in his head that they can't take out. Its like Iron Man but shitty. Yeah. That is the best way to describe the way he got hurt.

Friday, February 3, 2017

The Review: Hulk Vs.


Hulk Vs. 4/10

I watched the Hulk Vs. movie that came out years ago. I'd seen it before but it turns out I had only seen half of it before. This is broken down into two parts. In the first one Hulk is taken over by Loki who uses him to go to Asgard to beat the living hell out of Thor which he does. This is not regular ass Hulk. This is Hulk without Bruce Banner inside to have some form of checks an balances. I don't even remember exactly how this ended since I watched it a few weeks ago but it just proved that Hulk needs some kind of extra characters added because Hulk alone is rather boring.

Theater Whore: Arrival


Arrival 9/10

There will be some spoilers. This always happens. I will have long since made my best of list (click here to check that out) and then I'll see some movie and for sure know I would have added it to that list. I watched Arrival and this damned movie was as good as folks have been saying. People have been comparing it to Contact and that does not work for me at all since I did not like that movie at all. I am also not a fan of the last film the director of this did either. This movie was great. A damned movie about aliens arriving to the planet and there was no space battles, punching aliens in their mouths, or using their weapons against them.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Theater Whore: Resident Evil Final Chapter


Resident Evil Final Chapter 1/10

There will be spoilers. The first rule of Resident Evil is that you don't question Resident Evil. I got to see Resident Evil Final Chapter and I have to say that this was the worst of them and thankfully the last one being made. Allegedly. I'm sure they'll find some way to drag this out of the mud. Milla Jovovich is back as Alice whose job is to save humanity. I guess. The movie starts with a flash back that was just made up and couldn't have possibly been created when the first movie was written just so that they could have Milla's daughter introduced into the series as The Red Queen. Basically years ago a dudes daughter was dying so he created something to help her and it turned into the T-Virus. Next thing you know people are monsters.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Theater Whore: Split


Split 6/10

I did it. I saw Split directed by M. Knight Shyamalan even though I said I would never see one of his movies after The Village, Lady In The Water, and The Happening. Its been almost ten years so why the hell not, right? This will have spoilers and I spoiled this for myself before even seeing because I heard about something regarding the ending. I'm not sure if I'll mention it in this post or not. Whatever. There will be some spoilers so don't get mad when you check this out and know a bunch of shit that is gonna happen like a bunch of baby back bitches.

Monday, January 30, 2017

The Review: Justice League Dark


Justice League Dark 4/10

I watched the new Justice League Dark and was super excited because I like many of the characters individually and looked forward to seeing them in animated form. Sadly, I was disappointed in this because instead of making something original out of these characters they ended up just making another Justice League movie in the end. People all over the world are going crazy and seeing people as demons and hurting and killing them. The funny thing is that you'd assume people would run away or call the cops or a superhero or something. Instead for once they decide to take the law into their own hands and just start shooting folks.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Theater Whore: Lion


Lion 5/10

There will be some spoilers. I am baffled. That's my new favorite word by the way. I am baffled by the fact that this movie has gotten so much attention and award talk. Baffled! Its not a bad movie but its not like “Wow. This is so incredible I cant wait to tell more people about it!” Its a decent movie. Lion should have been called An Unfortunate Series Of Events...In India. I mean, come on. This kid named Saroo and his brother, mother, and younger sister and living in super poverty so they sell coal and do odd jobs to make ends meet. One day his brother leaves him to do a job and come back but Saroo gets impatient, hops on a train, and ends up almost 2,000 miles from home.

Friday, January 27, 2017

The Review: Ratchet & Clank


Ratchet & Clank 2/10

I decided to check out the movie Ratchet & Clank. I have never played the game but last year watched people play it on Youtube. Yes, that is something I do every single day. So I knew what the story of this was. This weird little creature that lives on an alien planet that is gonna be invaded by some evil creatures and he ends up joining with his favorite hero team to fight them and win but of course the villain is actually not dead. The end.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

The Review: Be Cool and Mr. Nobody


Be Cool 5/10

I watched the movie Be Cool from 2005 because...reasons. I'm not even exactly sure why I watched it but I did. Guess what? Its not that good. Thankfully I was able to fast forward all of the parts where Christina Milian performed. I'm not sure how popular she was twelve years back but apparently it was enough to warrant quite a few songs from her. This stars John Travolta as a guy that worked in the mob at some point and trying to be a movie producer. There is also Uma Thurman, Cedric The Entertainer, Andre 3000, The Rock, Aerosmith...just a lot of folks. Its ridiculous.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

The Review: Iron Man


Iron Man 9/10

I had not watched this movie in years. I remember liking it, watched it maybe two more times, then moved on to the other shit ton of Marvel movies that have come out. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this movie more now than I could recall. I mean, I knew I liked it and it launched all the other movies. This came out in 2008 and the effects still look good. Its funny that not even ten years later that I can make a comment like that but CGI changes so damned fast now that even The Matrix is laughable when you watch it today. Bullet time my ass. They do that in candy commercials now.

Friday, January 20, 2017

The Review: He Never Died


He Never Died 9/10

There will be spoilers. I thoroughly enjoyed this crazy ass movie! I was browsing my Netflix and stumbled across this movie He Never Died. It stars Henry Rollins as a guy named Jack. He lives in a regular apartment, pays rent in cash, and does the same thing every single day. He goes to a diner, plays bingo at church three times a week, and pick up something from an intern at a hospital and tosses it in his fridge. He is at home just waiting for time to pass when a girl comes to his door, he opens it, and she leaves. Later two guys show up looking for Jack's supplier. He beats their asses pretty easily and though he is shot in the hand he just wraps it and goes to bed.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Review: The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin


The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin 6/10

I watched the Shaw Brothers movie from 1978 called The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin. This was longer than the old kung fu films that I am used to watching and watched an ass load of when I was a little kid. It stars Gordon Liu as Liu Yude who is a student that is rebellious against the government which back in the day was dangerous as hell and could get you beaten or killed. Remember when it was dangerous to rebel against the government? Man. Those days were rough. Nowadays we can say or do whatever we want.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

The Review: Turbo Kid


Turbo Kid 8/10

This will have spoilers. Months ago someone at work suggested this movie to me after we all got into a conversation about the Nintendo Power Glove. He said that there was this movie called Turbo Kid where the kid had a Power Glove on. Sadly, that was all it took to get me interested in the movie. This came out in 2015 and like Kung Fury, which everyone should watch on Youtube, is made and designed to be very 80's based. It stars Munro Chambers as this kid that lives alone in the post-apocalyptic world of 1997. I don't recall that being said in the film but Wikipedia says its so. He pretty much just dicks around the wasteland collecting trash and trading it in for water. No one has gasoline so they all travel on bikes, even the hard ass bad guys.

My Song Of The Week: I'm Still Trying Collection


I tend to make a song a day or at the very least five a week for over a year now. Since the start of the year I have made 13 songs and have tried to experiment more and do things differently that I have the past year and a half. This is a collection of the songs I have made so far this year. There are a couple of remixes of other songs in but the rest I slapped together. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week. Just click the little arrows to skip or go back.

 

Saturday, January 7, 2017

The Review: Emerald City Pilot Episode


Emerald City (Pilot) ?!/10

I have to start this by saying that commercials are the devil. I am use to watching things online or being able to skip right through commercials that it made it so hard to even begin to really get into this new series Emerald City. Its an odd feeling watching a hot chick get water-boarded and then have Jimmy Fallon dancing on the screen with a Golden Globe or someone having their brains blown out and then being shown fat pills that have the side effect of suicide along with twins at Burger King talking great deals. I am half-assed making excuses for this show because I want it to be good and there are a lot of very attractive women on here and I want to look at their faces more because I am a sad man.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

The Review: Zoolander 2


Zoolander 2 – 1/10

The thing that bugged me so much about Zoolander 2 is the fact that there were so many moments that it ha to be a funny movie but each time it went somewhere completely different for a while before showing something else that had the potential to be funny and then dumping it for far less funny stuff. I watched this on Amazon and had no idea it was even on here. I actually kind of forgot that this movie existed. I probably should have kept it that way. Benedict Cumberbatch as the model All could have been fun as a villain. Nope. Most of All is in the trailer. Will Ferrell comes in as Mugatu like an hour into the movie. Owen Wilson's character getting his entire orgy crew pregnant made zero sense. His orgy was funny in the first movie but they dragged this to the literal end.

My Song Of The Week: Deadshot


I did this song a couple of days ago titled Deadshot. I took the beat from my other song Infinite Ammo and mixed it with the Filter song Hey Man Nice Shot. I like the way it came out. Click here for previous episodes.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

The Review: Boondock Saints


Boondock Saints 5/10

If you had me write this when I first saw this movie I would have been like “9 out of 10! Awesome movie!” But as someone that is on the wrong side of 30 I cant even come close to rating Boondock Saints that high. This is not a terrible movie but after watching so many other films over this particular one does not live up to the memory hype. Its like when you think of how cool 80's cartoons were but watch them again and realize that all the cool shit was in the last minutes when the team formed Voltron or He-Man showed up. The rest was booty ass.