Friday, December 5, 2014

Star Wars Is Still New To Me

My name is Dante and I grew up not watching Star Wars. That's it. Let the hate wash over you. I didn't hate it or anything. I just didn't watch it the same way I didn't watch many of the films many did like Sixteen Candles and Dirty Dancing. I grew up on a steady diet of rated R and B-movies. Star Wars was a thing that I knew existed and had some vague idea of what it was about. A guy was in space and had robot friends, a giant dog, and fought this evil guy that could movie things with his mind. I even had an R2D2 eraser that I permanently borrowed from someone. What a stupid idea. Fancy eraser. You never want to use it!

One day I finally got to watch the original Star Wars films but it was after watching the newer ones. That's right. I am the guy that watched the films in order which it turns out is something that every fan of Star Wars says you should never do.

I started with Episode 1 and laughed my ass off at how bad it was. “People like this shit?!” I asked myself. I couldn't believe that people dedicated their lives to this! Fans of the original trilogy condemned me. “No! You're supposed to watch the first three films first!” Nope. I was already in the Star Wars universe and planned on watching the films the way that George Lucas intended.

So I watched Episode 2 and then Episode 3 and seriously questioned the views of everyone that loved these movies. The acting was horrible. The characters were stupid. I just didn't care. Then one day a friend that owned the original trilogy wanted to watch them with me.

Oh, funny story. When I was little I had a Star Wars toy of what I thought was some kinda warrior guy. He had on all white, his hair in a bun, and had a big gun. One day my older brother asked me “Why you playing with a bitch?” I knew what he meant by bitch, but didn't know why he was applying to my badass desert man. He proceeded to show me the two lumps on the guys chest and tell me that they were boobs. It was Princess Leia. Whoops. Back to the post.

I watch the original movies and liked the first two but not the third so much. Liked it a strong word. They were okay. I liked the characters and thought that in another story that they could be awesome. The story is cool in parts but I'll never be crazy about Star Wars unless I jump on board with this new one. The new one gave me goosebumps when I saw the trailer which is a good sign. 

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