The Review: Hunters Episode 1

Hunters Episode 1: In The Belly of The Whale

Every review will be full of spoilers. I did not plan on watching this show really. I had added it to my watch list and it kinda sat there. I wasn't sure if I would have any interest in watching a show about people hunting Nazis starring Al Pacino. As honestly it took a little bit into the first episode to keep me watching even after Miss Jackie suggested I give it a try. While I enjoyed the first episode this is not one of those shows I will plow through in a week even though every episode is available to watch right now on Amazon. I also suggest having captions on because like most streaming shows the sound is not that good. This starts off with this nice ass looking barbecue at this dude Biff Simpson's place in 1977. One of his new associates shows up and she sees Biff and starts flipping the fuck out. At first I thought she had too many disco biscuits. Her husband is not sure what's going on as she keeps calling him a butcher and a Nazi. He reaches under the grill and starts blasting folks.

The Review: TNT Jackson

TNT Jackson 8/10

The other day I watched this crazy ass movie called TNT Jackson after Miss Jackie suggested it. This is the story of a woman looking to get revenge against someone who murdered her brother...in Japan. I decided to do a commentary while watching this and cut it down to just about twelve minutes. Y'all don't wanna hear me talk straight through this because I talk so much shit.

Jeanne Bell as Diana "TNT" Jackson

Chiquito as Dynamite Wong

Stan Shaw as Charlie

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The Review: The Mad Doctor Of Blood Island

The Mad Doctor Of Blood Island 6/10

This movie was fucking insane. Blame Miss Jackie. The Mad Doctor Of Blood Island has one of the best intros talking about this magic green potion that will make you immune to monsters. Next thing you know a completely butt booty ass naked woman is running from a swamp monster. Every time the monster is one screen the camera starts zooming in and out quickly which made me laugh every time. This is one of those movies that would have been fun to see in a theater. People are arriving on an island because people are getting sick. One of the guys wants to see his father and the captain of the ship is like “You all have fun. That island is cursed as fuck!” The guys mom does not want to leave the island and I wouldn't either after looking at them women. There are no ugly women on this island! Oh, and the evil doctor looks like an evil doctor.

The Review: Locke And Key

Locke And Key Pffft!/10

Legit could barely make it through the first episode of Locke And Key so there will not be a review of the entire season. Back in maybe 2012 a coworker started letting me borrow the comic book and I loved it. I don't remember enough of it to complain about how it is different than this series or anything. This starts off with a guy sticking a key into his chest and then bursting into flames blowing up a house. This Locke family consisting of the mom, two sons, and a daughter. The oldest son Tyler is a stereotypical teenage son. Moody, smokes weed, doesn't want anything to do with anyone. The teenage daughter Kinsey is a stereotypical teenage girl. Moody and doesn't want anything to do with anyone. And the youngest son Bode is one of the main reasons I could barely make it past this episode. I know that I had heard about this show being made or trying to be made for years. Maybe it shouldn't have been. There are certain books I would love to see in film form and a series like this makes me happy no one has tried.

The Review: White Savior Racism In The American Church

White Savior: Racism In The American Church 8/10

"Sometimes 'What can I do?' is just shut up."

I just watched this really informative documentary on Amazon called White Savior Racism In The American Church. That is a long ass title. This was just an hour long and I would have watched a three part series because they cover a lot of information in an hour. That is an issue I have found with race based documentaries. There are attempts made to cover about 400 years of history in a short amount of time and I end up just opening twenty tabs looking up the information they are talking about. By the way, stay out of the comments section of this on Amazon. Jesus. People are horrible. Folks have a tendency to take factual history as a personal attack on them right now. This is going to be a review of the documentary sort of as well as ramblings from me because I don't do that as much as I used to on this site.

The Review: Lady Colt

Lola Colt 1/10

Okay. I am trying to be fair. I watched this and could not enjoy this for shit. This movie Lola Colt was not good. The story was stupid. The audio was horrible. The acting was about the amount of acting you would expect from a Western from this time period but somehow worse. This group of lady dancers show up to this ain't shit town that is being attacked by a gang lead by El Diablo. One of the dancers is sick and they stay while she gets better and inspire the townspeople to fight back against the gang. All it took was a sexy looking woman to get them going! Actually the only kid in the town gets killed and they decide to fight. I watched most of this squinting not because I could not see what was happening but because I was trying to understand what I was watching. This was a waste of time and an experiment. I am trying to prove Miss Jackie's mother wrong and hoping the star is actually a good actress. So far she is 0-2.

Lola Falana as Lola Gatz

Peter Martell as Rod

Germán Cobos as Larry/El Diablo

Tom Felleghy as Don Rodriguez

Evar Maran as Don Pedro

Erna Schürer as Rose Rodriguez

Dada Gallotti as Virginia

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Upcoming Marvel Films Excitement Levels 2

Marvel has a lot of new movies coming out this and next year as well as a bunch of new TV series that all manage to look good somehow. I am gonna write about five of the next set of movies and how excited I am about them. Hint: way more excited than I was about the DC ones. Deal with it. 

Black Widow

Excitement Level – 5/5

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Florence Pughm, David Harbour, and Rachel Weisz

You know what made me want to see this movie even more than I originally wanted to? A damned video essay on Youtube by Implicitly Pretentious (click to watch). I liked her character but was so used to her that I didn't appreciate her character. I watched Iron Man 2 again and forgot how she was even introduced into the MCU. That video essay showed her character through all of the films and how she fit into the group, related to characters, and grew far more than I realized. I didn't know how the hell they planned on even making this considering on how Endgame, well, ended. The trailer for this looks cool as hell and I am mad interested to see some of the characters they will introduce. I'll be seeing this the first day it comes out.

The Review: Lady Cocoa

Lady Cocoa 6/10

This movie was so fucking weird. I watched Lady Cocoa as I continue to watch strange ass movies from the 70's with the encouragement of Miss Jackie. I don't know why she is doing it. Maybe she crazy. I'm doing it because I do weird shit. This movie is about one of the most annoying people you have ever seen committed to film having to be protected and not killed like every instinct in your body would have you do. Cocoa is in prison for not helping turn on her mobster boyfriend. She is in jail but has a nice set up going with flowers and everything. Shit's nice. So she gets released and is supposed to be under the protection of police. They take her to a hotel in Reno where all she has to do is wait to testify against her man. She decides to be a total shit bird every chance she gets. She wants more clothes. She wants more food. She wants the cop guarding her to lotion her back and bone her. She wants-wait. What?

The Review: Truck Stop Women/The Million Eyes Of Sumuru/Devil's Express

Truck Stop Women DNF/10

This movie stunk and I didn't finish it. A lady runs a brothel at a truck stop while also stealing trucks and/or what's in the vehicles. A mob wants to take over their business and the owner doesn't want that while her daughter wants more out of life and wants to stop them. Plenty of boobs and gross 70's guys hooting and chasing after them. I stopped about thirty five minutes in because I could not sit through another montage of trucks driving to bad country music about said trucks.