Saturday, November 30, 2013

Theater Whore: Dallas Buyers Club

I didn't know anything about Dallas Buyers Club going in. Cam wanted to check some movies out for weeks now and we finally got a chance to see two films. I had seen a image of Jared Leto as a very unattractive woman and Matthew McConaughey looking like he was close to dying but didn't know that these had anything to do with each other.

This is about a guy named Ron Woodruff who is a homophobic, likely racist rodeo cowboy. This guy snorts coke like it ain't no thing, has lots of random sex, and drinks while doing each of those other things. One day at work he ends up getting electrocuted and while at the hospital they tell him that he has HIV. HIV is still new at this point and people still believed (this is in 1985) that only gay men got it. Ridiculously, there are still people that think this way. Doctor tells him that he has just 30 says to live which pisses him off.

Theater Whore: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Oh my lord. Why did I decide to watch this movie? I'm still not sure. I read the book and liked the first 90% of it but the last 10% was just so bad that it ruined the first parts. I have not read Hunger Games: Catching Fire but decided that I wasn't done punishing myself and saw this. All the same folks are back, some other new ones, and conflicts that make no sense.

Katniss and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) who won the games the previous year have pissed off President Snow (Donald Sutherland) because of their little stunt they pulled where they tried to kill themselves and not have any winner. After they did this all these other broke ass Districts started rebelling like “After doing the same bullshit for 74 years let's all finally fight back!” 

Snow shows up at her place and tells her to fall in love with Peeta even though she actually is in love with Gale (Liam Hemsworth) because fuck you, Gale is far superior to Peeta in every single way. Katniss and Peeta have to go on a tour to every District and promote the upcoming games. This old Black dude starts to whistle and gets his head blown off.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Theater Whore: 12 Years A Slave

I have heard some people say that 12 Years A Slave either made them mad or was super violent. It is very violent as any film that takes place during slavery will be, but it didn't make me mad. I cant be mad about slavery anymore. Disappointed that it happened, yes. But to see a movie like this and leave ready to go bonkers on White people is just silly. You and I were never slaves. Enough of my small rant. My film would have been called 12 Minutes A Slave: The Tale Of A Man Being Shot Immediately

This movie does quite a bit of jumping back and forth at first between showing Solomon Northup (who was a real dude) played by Chiwetel Ejifor as a free man living up North and his time on a plantation in New Orleans (Michael K. Williams makes too far a short appearance as well). He is shown being beaten and trying to explain who he is and everyone is kinda like “No, you are Platt! Now go pick cotton!” Which he does. He was drugged and sold into slavery so its like Taken for Black people.

Happy Black people in 1800's means something bad's about to happen!

I know this sounds ridiculous for someone who is laying on a comfy ass bed and writing a movie review, but I've always said that I would rather just die. I honestly would. Life is 2013. This is a guy that was actually free. As free as a Black man could be in 1841. After a few months (meaning days) of this bullshit I'd rather just not exist. Fuck being hit. Benedict Cumberbatch buys Solomon and Paul Dano is his “master” so the creepy factor has just doubled considerably.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

My Top Five Rappers Of All Time

For anyone that doesn't know, I'm a huge fan of music. Like, lots of music. I started The Ross Radio Show just to share all the types I love listening to with the world. There isn't a single day that goes by where I don't listen to at the very least an two and a half hours of music. Lately I have been listening to and reading lots of lists, most being the best rapper of all time. This is an issue that almost no one is going to agree on because there is so many different forms of rap and rappers. Some say hip-hop but when I use that word I have to actually pause a split second and say it. My brain goes to “rap” automatically.

Making my own list wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be though at the last second I did change who my number one was. If you ask me for my top five ten years from as we're hunkered down waiting for the dirt people to leave town with fresh new victims I'll probably have one or two other rappers on here. But as of this date, November 26th 2013, these are my Top Five Rappers Of All Time.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Watching The American Music Awards 2013 Via My Twitter

So I was watching the American Music Awards 2013 and feeling like an old ass man not knowing what the sounds that were coming from my TV meant and asking out loud far too often “Who is that? What are these kids wearing? Who left the goddamn door open?!” I was acting a damned fool on my Twitter to spare my friends on Facebook. Just start at the bottom and work your way up. Like with relationships. 

Ross Radio Quickie Show 3

In this episode I play some getting ready for work music. Ini Kamoze Hotstepper, Naughty By Nature Feel Me Flow, Digital Underground Same Song, Heavy D. More Bounce, and Nice & Smooth Hip Hop Junkies. Click here to download this and previous Ross Radio Quickie Shows

Nothing But Gossip November 24th 2013

Oh my lord there is some weird shit said by Conrad Murray aka Dr. I Help Kill People. In an interview he said “You want to know how close we were? I held his penis every night to fit a catheter because he was incontinent at night. He wore dark trousers all the time because after he went to the toilet he would drip for hours." And then “Michael didn't know how to put a condom on, so I had to do it for him.” How close can one be with another?!

Lamar Odom posted a video of himself rapping in the bathroom with no shirt on. He says he was not high as fuck, but just drunk. A friend was with him who didn't say “Uh, maybe this should not be recorded right now.”

The day before Miley Cyrus' 21st party he place was burgled. They made off with jewelry. Her pride was stolen around her 17th birthday. In each case, no one has been found responsible.

And she did this to her eyebrows.

Remember that band Crazytown? Of course you don't. They had one hit song. Anyhoot, the lead “singer” Shifty Shellshock's baby mama wants full custody of their son because he smoked crack in the kids room. She knew who he was and what he did before she let him insert himself in her, right?

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Theater Whore: Thor: The Dark World

Well...fuck. You know that thing that used to happen more often in the early 2000's when a movie would have a shit ton of good actors in it but it would still be a terrible film? That's Thor: The Dark World. This movie had everything that angers me in action films. Humor when there doesn't need to be, random ass soldiers that are supposed to be so dangerous but are easily killed, and goddamn smoke monsters! I hate smoke monsters. No, you don't even understand. Let me talk about this hour and a half long TV show passing itself off as a movie.

It starts off with a battle happening years and years ago where the bad guys lose and hide something important. Not destroy it, hide it. This ain't Christmas! Meanwhile in the present Tom Hiddleston as Loki is being arrested for all the bullshit he did in The Avenger's and is locked up. Meaning hidden. Again. This ain't Christmas! Kill this fucker! In a few days he revealed that the gods were really real and tried to bring aliens to Earth and destroy it. Fuck this guy. Natalie Portman playing Dr. Jane Foster aka The Least Likely Doctor Since Denise Richards In The World Is Not Enough is still on Earth looking up mysterious shit and waiting for Thor to come back even though he's been gone for two years and the last time he was on Earth he didn't even come by to say hello.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Insert Coin: Marble Madness

“Marble Madness is an isometric platform game in which the player manipulates an onscreen marble from a third-person perspective. The player controls the marble's movements with a trackball, though most home versions use game controllers with directional pads. The aim of the game is for the player to complete six maze-like, isometric race courses before a set amount of time expires. When a player completes a race, the remaining time is added to the next race's allotted time. The game also allows two players to compete against each other.”

Yeah. If you wanna find out just how hard someone can hit play this game with them. This one was of the most aggravating video games ever created. This isn't like Tetris where you can go “Oh, this goes there and I will win the round” and you go too far and fuck up and lose. No. Marble Madness seemed as if it was set up to make you fail and lose your shit completely. The sad thing is that I rented this game three weekends in a row from the video store. RIP Cal-Fal Video.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Ross Radio Quickie Show 2

In this episode I play a few of my favorite songs from the band The Cult. Fire Women, Sweet Soul Sister, She Sells Sanctuary, and Love Removal Machine. Click here to download this and previous Ross Radio Quickies.

The Classics Part 9

Back when I was around ten years old I was sitting at home watching an episode of Superstars on a Saturday morning as I usually did. On this particular episode I had my mind blown by a situation involving John Tenta also known as Earthquake. This was back in the day when the audience barely brought signs and the only time fans were brought into the ring was when Ted DiBiase would offer money for things (fact: a young Rob Van Dam was one of these fans and kissed some sweaty ass just wrestled feet for a hundred bucks) or when Rick Rude would jam his tongue down some woman's throat.

So The Ultimate WarriorDino Bravo, and Jimmy Hart are in the ring doing what was cool back then but makes me groan now which were tests of strength. Tests of strength, pregnancies, and weddings never work out in wrestling. Now, in my house you were either a Hulk Hogan guy or a Warrior guy. My oldest brother was a Warrior guy as well as me, so when Hart called this big ass dude into the ring to sit on the back's of Bravo and Warrior we knew Warrior would win because fuck you its The Ultimate Warrior. This guy could do anything.

So this guy, John, gets on Bravo's back and I'm shouting “He isn't sitting all the way! He's cheating!” “Mean” Gene is there in the ring and everyone is amazed. Next it was Warrior's turn. John gets on his back and then just drops! I get all emotional and shit channeling my inner Jim Ross. “Oh, my god! He's been broken in half!”

Next comes the beatdown of Warrior, Okurland bounces out the ring not even trying to offer help, and a young me is wondering why security is letting this fat dude out of the audience beat up a wrestler. “That's not fair! There's two of 'em!” I'm shouting and my brother is just shaking his head probably wondering why he decided to share the gift of wrestling with me.

Next thing you know this guy from the crowd gets a name and outfit and becomes Earthquake which made me smile because I was born and raised in Los Angeles. His finisher is a simple leap into the air and dropping all his weight on someone laying in the ring. Sounds lame by today's standards but so does Hogan's legdrop. Its all about who is doing it. In this case it was a large Canadian man.

Earthquake went on to have a pretty good career. Lots of non-wrestling fans actually know of him as Earthquake and will ask what happened to him. He sadly passed away from cancer a few years back but will always have a place in my heart as the guy that traumatized me when he jumped onto Jake “The Snake” Roberts bag, squashing his snake Damien. Seriously. 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Nothing But Gossip November 14th 2013

Simon Cowell from American Idol and now some other show I also don’t watch is one strange dude. As part of his baby mama Lauren Silverman’s settlement with her now ex husband Cowell has to stay away from her 7 year old son from her previous marriage or else pay $50,000. The hell…? Also, the kid is not allowed to call Cowell “daddy.” But Lauren can call him daddy all she wants! Know what I’m sayin’?!

Bruce Jenner and Lamar Odom are best buds now! Apparently they have been chilling in Bruce’s home in Malibu not doing drugs. Lamar is said to be clean now. That family confuses the shit out of me. The girls recently sold off bras and stuff for money for All kinds of titty residue going on.

Zac Efron, who is battling addiction to cocaine, slipped and fell in his home and broke his jaw...and didn’t call 911. Now, he is either the baddest motherfucker to ever walk the Earth, or batshit insane.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Is This What You Wanted?

Is this what you all wanted? Daniel Bryan floundering in a upcoming tag team with CM Punk? This can’t be what you all wanted. These two were arguably involved in the top feuds in WWE in the past possibly two years and they are each now working together to fight the powers that be. With Punk I’m not really all that upset with whatever happens to him anymore. Punk’s DVD actually made me like him even less. But Bryan pisses me off because he made me enjoy watching wrestling again after many months of just watching Dolph Zigglerflying around the ring clips. Damn, that man can make any move look painful.

Bryan was picked by John Cena to face him for the title which led to Vince McMahon saying that he didn’t deserve such a shot and HHH supporting Bryan. It was awesome. Bryan was putting on great matches weekly and even managed to make Ryback cool again. Seriously, Ryback is not all that awesome anymore. But this isn’t about him. Its about Bryan being turned into just another wrestler I used to enjoy watching.

So Bryan faces Cena at Summerslam, and goddamn, it was great! The match had moments where I was screaming at Cena “Tap you son of a bitch! I wanna watch wrestling again!” Then he wouldn’t and I’d go “Of course you won't tap, you asshole!” So when Bryan won I lost it. I seriously lost my shit.
This was not just Bryan’s moment, it was mine. You have to understand, at one point in my life I was watching close to 14 hours of wrestling a week which has now dwindled to 4 minutes Youtube clips. If Bryan had that belt I was going to be watching every show he was on. I wanted the shirt. I wanted the belt. This guy made me a kid again! And then…

Randy Orton cashed in his Money In The Bankcontract after HHH screwed Bryan over. You know extreme highs becoming extreme lows? This was me. Truth be told, I’m a mark. I am that guy that hates being yanked back into reality when watching movies or any form of entertainment. I never refer to Edge as Adam Copeland. I’m a Black version of that “Its still real to me!” guy. Orton getting the title...belt...strap...fuck it. Championship. Orton getting the championship to me meant a few things.

1. In with the old, out with the new. Instead of seeing some great matches with Bryan being this underdog (whatever that means anymore) champion and fighting against whoever the man sent his way, we get Bryan being screwed over on TV and even pay per view for the love of it all. We get Bryan being told things that folks on the internet have said about him for years and what Vince, HHH, whoever may also believe to be true. We have his mentor, Shawn Michaels, turning on him.

2. Bryan got the belt back only to have it stripped away. This was just to fuck with me, I’m sure. I was sure they wouldn’t keep the belt on Orton. At one point I was a huge fan of the guy. But, like HHH, he started off one way, became another, and stuck that way for better or worse.

3. Midcard madness! Now Bryan is teaming with Punk to take on The Wyatt’s. I liked Bray Wyatt...when he was called Waylon Mercy. I’m kidding. But seriously, watch an old Mercy promo with Wyatt’s music playing in the background and tell me its not the same character right down to the white pants. Now while I like the Wyatt’s fine, they should be nowhere near Bryan or even Punk. Wasn’t Punk in a high level feud with Brock Lesnar? Then Mr. Perfect’s son whose name isn’t worth recalling at the moment? Then Ryback? Who’d this guy piss off? Weren’t the Wyatt’s the fighting Kane who is now a part of the HHH regime? It makes no sense!

I remember the night Bryan was screwed over for the title. I went on Tha O Show’s Facebook page and was met with so many people telling me that I didn’t know how “the business” worked. That this story line was “good for business.” I even had one guy explain to me how wrestling worked. I’ve been watching this for 31 years now. I know how it works. I know how my complaints mean nothing nor does my satisfaction because I’m not a consumer of the product.

I’m just another internet guy complaining. 

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Ross Radio Quickie Show 1

In this new show I play just a few songs to get you to the store, work, or if you have a little free time at home. I play Dionne Warwick Walk On By, Otis Redding Try A Little Tenderness, Jackson 5 Who's Loving You, Barbara Mason Yes I'm Ready, and Friends Of Distinction Going In Circles

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Nothing But Gossip November 5th 2013

You do not piss off Tom Cruise. He is suing In Touch and Life & Style magazines for $50 million for saying that he abandoned his daughter during his divorce from Katie Holmes. “I have in no way cut Suri out of my life -- whether physically, emotionally, financially or otherwise” he stated in documents filed against them. I know a lot of people talk shit about this guy, but to me he seems like a really stand up fella. I hope he wins this case and puts these magazines out of business. They are garbage anyway.

Amanda Bynes is allegedly going to be out of her treatment facility by Christmas. So if you have any flammable pets, you’ve been warned.

Rapper DMX must love wearing handcuffs because his ass has been arrested once again. He has no license and shouldn’t have been driving but to make matters worse he’s uninsured and so was the car he was in. He has enough mugshots to make an issue of a magazine.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Ross Radio Show 160

In this episode I felt like playing some good jamming ass music. Frankie Beverly & Maze Before I Let Go, Midnight Star Wet My Whistle, Luther Vandross Bad Boy (Having A Party), Kano I'm Ready, Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers Bustin' Loose, Starpoint Object Of My Desire, Trouble Funk Hey Fellas, Aretha Franklin Jump To It, Boz Scaggs Lowdown, Lisa Lisa And Cult Jam I Wonder If I Take You Home, and Debbie Deb Lookout Weekend. Click here to download this and previous Ross Radio Shows. Enjoy!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Cartoons That Should Be Films 1

While watching 1980 cartoon theme song compilations I was thinking of how Hollywood cranks out or plans to crank out cartoon based movies from my childhood. There have been countless Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films and the terrible GI Joe and Transformers films. I have to figure out whether they are bad to me because they aren't how I would make the film or because they are truly just shit films.

I've decided to jot down some of the cartoons I'd love to see as full length films now but of course with my involvement because I'm me and only I can make things that are worth watching. God Complex: Engaged! Some of these may seem really obscure but they provided me with hours of entertainment over and over again because they lasted just a season or two though my childhood imagination thought they lasted most of the 80s.