The Review: A Jazzman's Blues

 

A Jazzman's Blues 2/10

This movie was ass. L. wanted to check out this Tyler Perry movie called A Jazzman's Blues on Netflix so we did. This movie was long and full of people making dumb decisions to keep the story moving. It is about a dude named Bayou who falls in love with this girl named Leanne aka Bucket. They explain why she was called Bucket and it is so stupid that nickname would have never stuck. Bayou's no father hates him. His brother hates him. Everyone makes fun of him except for his mother who baby's him. This story is told through letters that Bayou wrote to Leanne in the late 30's to early 40's after they were given to this racist dude in the 80's. Yeah.

The Review: The 355

The 355 (1/10)

I almost didn't even write a review for this because I did not care for it. I also don't want to be accused of hating women since at this point if you say you don't like something that is female led it means you hate them. It isn't the fact that the action was shot terrible, the story was weak as hell and incredibly predictable, or that the actresses you see in this have been in far better films. That couldn't be it. I looked up the director after watching this and slapped myself for even watching this. I was familiar with his name as a producer and writer but when he got to do all three...yeesh. What is this about? Different government spies trying to out think one another for a device that can control technology until they start to work together but only the women because the men are all dumb, violent, or dumb and violent. I wish this was good and it didn't get a 0/10 because I finished it while ironing my clothes.

Jessica Chastain as Mason "Mace" Browne

Penélope Cruz as Graciela Rivera

Fan Bingbing as Lin Mi Sheng

Diane Kruger as Marie Schmidt

Lupita Nyong'o as Khadijah Adiyeme

Édgar Ramírez as Luis Rojas

Sebastian Stan as Nick Fowler

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