The Review: Devil In A Blue Dress

Devil In A Blue Dress 9/10

Not sure how I managed to never see this movie. I have read some of the books by Walter Mosley and definitely heard of Devil In A Blue Dress but never actually watched it. L. and I checked this out about a week ago and this was a damn good movie. Like, a really good one. L. likes just watching me react to movies and this movie stressed me the fuck out. This takes place in Los Angeles in 1948 and it started off in downtown LA which was cool because we were there that day or so. Looks very much the same. This dude named Easy Rawlins got laid off from his job and needs money to pay his mortgage. He is very proud of the fact that he owns a house and wants to keep it that way. His friend Joppy owns a bar and this dude named Albright shows up with a job for him. This lady named Daphne Monet is missing and her fiancé wants her to come back because he is running for mayor but is stressed she is missing so he drops out. Easy is told that she likes to hang out in Black places. Yeah...

The Review: A Streetcar Named Desire

A Streetcar Named Desire 10/10

This movie was messy as hell! I had never seen A Streetcar Named Desire but I have heard of it and and this is what I told L. I thought the movie was about. Some dude that races cars is in love with some woman named Stella that wont be with him because of his streetwise ways. He gets wet and yells her name. I was wrong. This movie was about all kinda shit I didn't know they were talking about back in 1951. I mean, this movie came out when my parents were 1 and 0 years old! This movie had everything! Abusive marriages. Alcoholism. Lies. Student fucking. Just...everything! This lady named Blanche DuBois who is a teacher shows up in New Orleans to stay with her sister, Stella. She lives there with her husband Stanley who is a true piece of work. Blanche says that she is off from work because of her nerves. She acts like she is damn near a princess and Stanley's attitude rubs her the wrong way but she tries to deal with him. He on the other hand can't stand her immediately.

The Review: Black Orpheus

Black Orpheus 9/10

This movie was awesome. I had heard of Black Orpheus but didn't know nothing about it other than the original tale it spun from which took me way to long to figure out in this film. L. suggested this one and we checked it out last week. Its about this woman named Eurydice who arrives to Rio de Janeiro during Carnival...I think. The whole city is a big ass party that will culminate with an even larger one. She is trying to get to her cousins place because she is on the run and ends up getting snatched onto a train. Like, literally snatched onto it. She is found at the last stop by this dude named Orfeu who is the train driver. He immediately takes a liking to her but he is newly engaged and every woman in the town wants a slice of him. He doesn't seem to want to get married to Mira who wants all of the attention from everyone.

The Review: Gunpowder Milkshake

Gunpowder Milkshake 2/10

I just finished watching Gunpowder Milkshake. That title alone should drive people away. I knew I wouldn't be able to do this in regular review form unless I wanted it to be one paragraph long so I decided to write my reactions as I watched.

This movie just started and it is trying too hard to be cool.

That milkshake gotta be hot as hell. Sitting there for three hours? Shit. Enjoy your cup of hot cream!

The Review: The Tomorrow War

The Tomorrow War 5/10

Spoilers! I started watching The Tomorrow War over a week ago and while searching for something to watch I continued it. I had only seen the first twenty minutes not realizing I had almost two more hours to go. Yay? Not really. This should have been a TV series with a bunch of unknown actors and actresses because some of the cast I know from other things that are really good aren't really used for their skills. They are just bodies. The premise of this movie is big dumb and after watching Loki with all the time travel and rules and such involved I had to just turn off all forms of logic to finish this. This former Green Beret and now biology teacher named Dan Forester has a wife and daughter he loves but he is unhappy that he can't get a better job. He also has an asshole father.

10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched Loki

Loki Season One 10/10

This is gonna be full of spoilers. Sometimes I watch a show and episodes start to pile up and I end up not covering each one. Not because I don't want to but usually because there is so much that writing in pieces makes no sense to me. Loki is one of those shows. The last three episodes came and went so quickly that the next thing you know I was watching the finale and gasping at every damn thing that was happening. So far Disney+ has made WandaVision and Falcon And TheWinter Soldier work and I was nervous that this show had the chance to be a stinker. I was wrong. Black Widow was. I am gonna list 10 Reasons why you should have watched this or should start right now.

The Review: Eve's Bayou

Eve's Bayou 9/10

This was a damn good movie! I finally saw Eve's Bayou as I continue to earn my Black Card via L. and the list of films compiled which has been dubbed Black Movies 101. I didn't know almost nothing about this except the little girl starring in it and something about a swamp. This little girl named Eve along with her older sister, little brother (who is not important to this tale), and her parents live as a happy family in the 1960's which means its science fiction. I'm kidding. Her father Louis is loved by everyone and is a doctor that pays house visits. And by house visits I mean he fucks his patients. His wife Roz takes care of the house and family and everything seems cool. During a party Eve spots her father and this lady Matty fixing to fuck. She gasps and her father plays it off. She ends up telling her older sister Cisely about it who tells her she did not see what she thinks she saw.

Sitting In The Aisle: Nightmare Alley

Nightmare Alley 8/10

My first Sitting In The Aisle in over a year! Last week L. and I went to the Hollywood Legion Theater after finding out that they play movies. This is also how we got to go to the Hollywood Heritage Museum the following day. They had a deal. As for the movie, Nightmare Alley, there was a double feature but we ended up not staying for the second movie since it was already 10pm by the time the first movie ended. I'm old. Leave me alone. So this movie is about this con man that works for a traveling carnival named Stan. This is a straight up carny place with a geek that bites the heads off of chickens, a psychic, and strong man. This lady named Zeena who is the psychic has a drunk ass husband Pete that she always has to look out for. This girl Molly tells Stan about how Zeena and Pete use codes for their psychic act which makes him immediately want it to make more money. Stan tries to wine and dine Zeena which works. This dude can talk his ass off. One night Pete's drunk ass has been cut off from being allowed anymore liquor when he stumbles upon Stan. Stan gives him some and the next morning Pete is dead. Turns out Stan gave him PURE alcohol which is in the exact same bottle as his moonshine. Zeena was just gonna send him to rehab the next day.

The Review: A Shock To The System

A Shock To The System 8/10

While looking for another film L. and I found this one called A Shock To The System on HBO Max. Its about this guy named Graham who has been working hard and expects to be promoted. Hell everyone thinks he is going to get promoted. His wife is spending money he don't have. His friends take him out to lunch to celebrate. Then he doesn't get it but his punkass coworker does. While heading to the train on the way home he ends up shoving an aggressive homeless man onto the tracks and gets clean away with the shit. He feels empowered! Like, it was so easy to kill a man and get away. Graham realizing that the law ain't shit starts plotting. He thinks about how he got shocked fixing the lights in his house that his wife keeps blowing out with her stair stepper he teaches her how to repair it herself and sets it up so she gets electrocuted while he is out of town. The shit works and she dead. He is being investigated but there is just enough wiggle room for him not to be arrested. I don't wanna ruin much more of this movie because it was good and I straight up didn't know it even existed until a few days ago. Its just shy of an hour and a half and I could have easily watched another half hour of it. Oh, and Samuel L. Jackson is in this for a moment as a card dude in the street. Blink and you will miss him.

Michael Caine as Graham Marshall

Elizabeth McGovern as Stella Henderson

Peter Riegert as Bob Benham

Swoosie Kurtz as Leslie Marshall

Will Patton as Lt. Laker

John McMartin as George Brewster

Philip Moon as Henry Park

Barbara Baxley as Lillian

Haviland Morris as Tara Liston

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The Review: Black Widow

Black Widow 3/10

Spoilers. So I watched Black Widow. I was excited about this movie...last year. Then they started playing the hokie pokie with it between coming out in theaters and then Disney+ back and forth. By the time it was released I honestly didn't care about it anymore. I was expecting an origin story for the character but this is definitely not it. You learn more about The Red Room in Age Of Ultron than you do in this. This takes place after Civil War with her on the run. She is found by her not sister and they break their not dad out of prison and find their not mother. Her mother appears to turn on them but not really. We find out about a mission where Natasha she killed this young girl but she survived the explosion of all explosions and is now the Taskmaster. What a waste of an amazing character! 

The Review: No Sudden Move

No Sudden Move 8/10

This was a damn good movie. No Sudden Move is on HBO Max and it is an actual movie. Like, one you would've seen in a theater. L. and I decided to check this out and I'm glad we did because I love a good heist movie. In the early 1950's in Detroit his dude named Curt needs five grand so he can get the hell out of town. He gets hired to threaten someone for information. There is another dude named Ronald who seems shady as hell which is saying a lot because almost everyone in this movie is shady and dirty. And of course no caper is complete without one unhinged ass teammate and his name is Charley. I can not even begin to really explain everything that happens in this movie without spoiling everything and/or not doing this movie justice. Just take my word for it (if you're someone who reads my reviews and trusts my opinion). This is good. It has the perfect balance of drama, comedy, and crime so that it sort of flies by. You might also be surprised by who shows up in this (I left names out). My only complaint really is that the camera looks really weird at certain points. Almost like a fish eyed lens was used or something.

Don Cheadle as Curt Goynes

Benicio del Toro as Ronald Russo

David Harbour as Matt Wertz

Kieran Culkin as Charley

Brendan Fraser as Doug Jones

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The Review: Poetic Justice

Poetic Justice 8/10

In another attempt for me to attain my Black Card I watched Poetic Justice. All I knew about this movie was that Tupac and Janet were in it and there was some poetry. This is about this woman named Justice who works at a hair salon and writes poetry. She also always walks around looking like someone farted. At the beginnign she is with her boyfriend at the worlds worst drive in theater. Like no one is in there car unless they fuggin'. Just fighting, playing video games, kids are on the playground. Its a lot. Markell, Justice's boyfriend, is trying to bone down in the car but she gets mad at him and then asks him to buy everything at the concession stand. He goes and some dudes see him buying snacks. He sees them and knows he is in trouble because he started some shit with them a week ago. He heads back to the car and Justice is now ready to lay it on him when suddenly he no longer has a head. So Justice big sad now.

The Review: Love Jones

Love Jones 7/10

I liked Love Jones. This is a continuing series that L. has started getting me to watch famous and well known Black movies that I managed to hear of but never see. This is about this photographer lady (a paying gig only in movies) named Nina who recently split from her fiance and this dude named Darius who does spoken word poetry that gets lady draws wet. He meets Nina right before he goes on stage and does a poem in her name. She don't want him after her last relationship ended so badly but this dude is persistent. Like, scary persistent. He spots her at his friends record store and gets her address and phone number from a check she used to pay for some CD's. He just shows up at her place. Its creepy. They go on a date and bone down but both are playing it off like its not serious to their friends. Darius is a ladies man and seems afraid to admit he likes Nina as much as he does. Oh, I forgot to mention at one point Nina starts seeing Darius' friend Hollywood who is a dick. He uses her to flaunt and rub it in Darius' face that he has her.

The Review: The Wood

The Wood 5/10

This was a weird ass movie. L. had me watch The Woods and it is the tale of a man getting married and chickening out and having to be dragged drunk, kicking, and screaming to marry a beautiful woman because he is under the impression that he and his friends can spend the rest of their lives having all the sex. It begins with the groom Roland missing. His friends Mike and Slim go hunting for him and find him drunk at an ex's place. The reminisce about how they met in junior high. Mike just moved to Inglewood from North Carolina and doesn't know things like what colors are okay to wear or even basic things like how to talk to humans. He falls for a girl named Alicia whose brother is a gang member named Stacey. One day his “friends” dare him to smack her ass for a dollar. He does. She hits him. Her brother later hits him. He gets respect.