This was a weird ass movie. L. had me watch The Woods and it is the tale of a man getting married and chickening out and having to be dragged drunk, kicking, and screaming to marry a beautiful woman because he is under the impression that he and his friends can spend the rest of their lives having all the sex. It begins with the groom Roland missing. His friends Mike and Slim go hunting for him and find him drunk at an ex's place. The reminisce about how they met in junior high. Mike just moved to Inglewood from North Carolina and doesn't know things like what colors are okay to wear or even basic things like how to talk to humans. He falls for a girl named Alicia whose brother is a gang member named Stacey. One day his “friends” dare him to smack her ass for a dollar. He does. She hits him. Her brother later hits him. He gets respect.
The story goes back and forth showing them trying to sober up Roland. By the way, none of these dudes look like the kid versions of themselves. Like, none. I'm getting side tracked. So these kids and their bad haircuts end up at a dance but beforehand they head to the store because a lot of emphasis is placed on not having bad breath because they for sure are gonna be with every girl in the school. By the way, they never talk to other dudes in school. Not even in passing. Its weird. Not saying they need to add more characters (they could've though) but these dudes are just around each other all the time arguing, getting one another in trouble, or talking shit to one another in the pursuit of booty. Anyhoot, they head to the store and it gets robbed by Stacey and his partner. They get pulled over and Stacey admires Mike's courage and tells him how to get with Alicia, his sister. It works kinda because they later end up having the sex a year or so later.
In present day after stolen coffee pots, vomit, pizza, and an angry bride Roland ends up getting married. Again, this movie is weird. The guys didn't have much personality. The biggest change was Slim who is exactly like Roland when they are younger but he now wants to kick his ass every chance he gets. Mike meets up with Alicia as an adult at the end and she looks absolutely nothing like the actress she is supposed to be as an adult. Like, they are both Black women. That is it. One good thing about this movie is that it wasn't a sad ass movie full of funerals or people getting shot at.
Omar Epps as Michael "Mike" Tarver
Sean Nelson as Young Mike
Richard T. Jones as Laveinio "Slim" Hightower
Duane Finley as Young Slim
Taye Diggs as Roland Blackmon
Trent Cameron as Young Roland
Sanaa Lathan as Alicia
Malinda Williams as Young Alicia
LisaRaye McCoy as Lisa
De'Aundre Bonds as Stacey
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