Saturday, December 16, 2017

Theater Whore: Geostorm

Geostorm 2/10

I watched the movie Geostorm after laughing at the trailer a while ago. It is about someone using satellites that are in space to control our weather because we fucked the planet up and turning them into a weapon. Gerard Butler who designed the system called Dutch Boy for reasons, is told by his brother to go up there and fix that shit. His daughter who is a smart ass is upset and he promises not to die. This movie is pretty much watching a story try to happen while watching deserts turn to ice and beaches get jacked up. Seriously, there is a scene in Brazil where this hot woman runs from the now frozen beach, exploding buildings, and a plane that falls out of the sky. She lives because she is hot.

Friday, December 15, 2017

The Review: The Greasy Strangler

The Greasy Strangler 2/10

I checked out this movie Koko recommended called The Greasy Strangler. She told me what it was about and it sounded silly as all hell so I decided to check it out. Meh. I could have waited to see this. The movie is about a guy named Big Ronnie that loves grease. Everything he eats is greasy and he even wants it in his coffee. His son Brayden is a weird ass guy and together they do a touring group where they show people fake disco history in their town. They just lie to folks and ditch them. There is also a guy that is going around strangling people and leaving a bunch of grease behind. Gee, I wonder who it could be...

Sunday, December 10, 2017

The Review: Die Hard

Die Hard 9/10

Turns out I had not seen this movie in damn near 30 years. Die Hard is one of the movies where I would say I have seen it and could explain the basic plot but there are entire characters and plot points that I forgot about. John McClane played by Bruce Willis arrives in Los Angeles to meet up with his wife who he is kinda sorta estranged from. He likes working on the east coast and she is starting her life with their kids in LA. His limo driver named Argyle is chatty as hell but it works because it gives some insight to McClane's character. He gets to the Nakatomi building where there is a Christmas party happening and finds out his wife isn't even using his last name anymore. Burn!

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Theater Whore: The Shape Of Water

The Shape of Water 11/10

There will be spoilers. I know that in the past I would not rate a movie beyond a 10. I wanted to do it with Baby Driver but did not. Fuck it. The Shape Of Water deserves more than a damned 10. This was one of the best movies I've ever seen and made me so happy that movies exist. I try to find one of these types of films every year and this year it has happened multiple times (Baby Driver, Thor: Ragnarok, Guardians of The Galaxy 2). 

Cam and I saw this today and we were amazed that they were able to develop so many characters in one film and not have anyone feel left out. I said that I don't need a prequel to this or a sequel. I take everything in this movie and have no more questions regarding what happened to the characters before this or after. It is fucking complete.

Monday, December 4, 2017

Theater Whore: Justice League

Justice League 1/10

This is not a fun movie. You'd think a movie with all of these characters would at the very least be fun but it was very much not. It wasn't even cool. With superhero or comic book based movies if you can't get anything right the very least you can do is make characters look like they are supposed to or cool. That does not happen with this. And for anyone that says I am a Marvel whore and love all their movies (which I don't) I have a goddamn Batman tattoo on my right arm and a Warner Bros. based one on the left. So kiss my ass. I have no brand loyalty, not even with the toothpaste or toilet paper I buy. I just wanna be entertained...and have nice breath and a clean ass.

Monday, November 27, 2017

The Review: The Punisher Season 1

The Punisher: 10/10

In this episode I decided to record an audio version of my review for The Punisher on Netflix. Click here for previous The Review.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

The Review: Jim & Andy

Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond - The Story of Jim Carrey & Andy Kaufman Featuring a Very Special, Contractually Obligated Mention of Tony Clifton 9/10

Yeah, I know that is a long ass title. Koko, her friend, and I went to see this documentary Jim & Andy during the AFI Fest and it is really good. I had no idea what this was gonna be like because in recent years I have heard nothing but bad things about Jim Carrey and the last thing I saw him in, The Bad Batch, he didn't talk and I had no idea it was him until the credits when I saw his name. I know about Andy Kaufman through stand up and old footage from his wrestling days. Never saw Man On The Moon. This should have bored the shit out of me but it did the opposite.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

The Review: A Prairie Home Companion

A Prairie Home Companion 8/10

I went to AFI Fest with Koko and this cutie the other day and got to see two movies. The first was A Prairie Home Companion directed by Robert Altman. I had zero idea what this movie was about though I had heard of it before. I thought maybe it was about a farm and dying horses or something. Seriously. I did not know when it was made or who was in it. I actually thought it was a much older film based on the title. I was wrong about a lot of this movie meaning everything.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

The Review: Ric Flair 30 For 30

30 For 30 Ric Flair 9/10

I just finished watching the 30 For 30 special from ESPN just because it was about Ric Flair. I didn't learn anything that I didn't already know about his career since I have read his first book, watched wrestling since I was 3 years old, and wanted a robe as a child because I wanted to imitate Flair. If anyone is a fan of my weird as character Pretty Ricky the reason he wears a robe and says “Ooh...” was inspired by Flair's “Woo!” Now you know that bit of useless information.

Friday, November 10, 2017

Steel Punch 3 Ladies Night Soundtrack

I finally finished the third installment of my video game that does not exist anywhere except in my head. Steel Punch 3: Ladies Night was more fun than making the soundtracks for part one and part two because now I know more about what I am doing and felt comfortable playing around. I used more vocals in this and tried to give each level a distinctive sound. In my head when I hear the music I can see the characters, enemies, and bosses. I did away with bonus level music and focused on just being ridiculous. I also may have accidentally made a part four in my head. In case anyone is wondering where My Song Of The Week is now I have started loading my songs to Spacebar DJ instead.


Steel Punch 2: Gideon's Revenge Video Game Soundtrack

Last night while loading some songs I realized that while I had posted the soundtrack for Steel Punch I'd never loaded the second one so here it is. It is fun listening to how I made songs a year ago and even two years ago when I first even attempted it. The songs load out of order for whatever reason so if you wanna see the tracks click here.


Thursday, November 9, 2017

Stop It: Tyrese Gibson

For all the things I can think of that my father has done to embarrass me in my life the one thing I can say he has never done is cry on the internet. There is no footage of this. Know who can't say that? Tyrese Gibson's daughter Shayla. Holy shit, this dude is falling apart at an alarming rate. Or maybe not so alarming and not so surprising when you think about it. I have been following all of his escapades online and in court because I have close to no life. If I did any less it would be called haunting so I have the time and love of nonsense to keep up with this fool and his shenanigans.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

The Review: Ozark

Ozark 10/10

There will be spoilers. Babies. I know I am late writing this review but I finished the Netflix series Ozark a while back after taking time off to watch other shows. This series was pretty damned incredible. Again, Netflix has a knack for shitty posters that make me not want to watch their shows and friends and family have to get me to check them out. Cam suggested this one and I was hooked. I am not kidding. There is a scene in the first episode that is so intense I could have crushed coal into diamonds with my asshole. After that I knew that I was in and going to finish this show.

Friday, November 3, 2017

Theater Whore: Thor Ragnarok

Thor Ragnarok 10/10

This morning my ass raced to the theater to see Thor: Ragnarok because I didn't want any spoilers (which this review would have because it is a review an you shouldn't be reading them unless you expect to be spoiled by some things) and because this is the first Thor movie that looked interesting to me. The first Thor movie stunk. The second one was worse than the first. But when I saw the trailer for this one I got hype as shit and had to see this. On a previous blog post rating my excitement levels for upcoming Marvel movies (click here for that) I gave this a 1/5. That should tell you how much I enjoyed this.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

The Review: Cleverman

Cleverman 2/10

I mean damn. It is crazy how a show like Cleverman can start off with a good premise and quickly jump every shark it spots and instead of pulling back it just continues making a mess of what could have been maybe three different good shows. I found this on Netflix because the poster looked interesting and assumed it was about ninjas. I was wrong. It is filmed all up in Australia. This is gonna cover both seasons of the show and full of spoilers meaning me saving you time watching twelve episodes of a show with no ending and likely no third season. You're welcome.