Friday, October 20, 2017

The Review: Some Like It Hot

Some Like It Hot 9/10

I got to see Some Like It Hot a few decades after it came out. Hey. Shut it. J-Ro suggested this so we checked it out. I knew that Marilyn Monroe was in it and that is about it. And, boy, is she in it. These two guys named Joe and Jerry played by Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon who are in a jazz band. Joe has gambling issues and after the club they are playing at is raided they take off running. They end up stumbling across this gangster named Spats and witness him just straight up murdering some guys. They realize they need to get their asses out of town fast.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

The Review: The Bad Batch

The Bad Batch 1/10

I think I am on a streak of watching shit films and gotta be careful. I decided to watch this movie The Bad Batch on Netflix after remembering seeing a cool trailer a while back and decided to give it a try. As soon as I saw Jason Momoa was in it I should have stopped but I am not a quitter, damn it! I just give up...slowly. So this girl named Arlen played by Suki Waterhouse is kicked out of a gate into a place that is considered not a part of America so anything goes. And by anything I mean cannibals because less than a day after being released she is taken by these two ladies who drug her and saw off her arm and leg for food because dirt people, am I right?!

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Theater Whore: The Florida Project

Florida Project 2/10

I need to hurry up and write about this movie before I talk it down to a 1. The Florida Project. I was sitting here watching Youtube and being a lonely ass nerd when Cam called and asked if I wanted to see a movie. Of course I did. So we headed to the Arclight and checked out this movie that was done by the same guy that did Tangerine. This was not Tangerine. This is one of those movies getting a lot of praise and Oscar talk but do not be fooled. This is the next Nocturnal Animals. You will leave the theater asking what the fuck just happened and how fast you can leave. And yes there will be spoilers because I am saving you two hours of your life.

Friday, October 13, 2017

The Review: Big Mouth

Big Mouth 9/10

Jasmine suggested I watch this series Big Mouth on Netflix and said that if I was not into it in the first five minutes to stop. I begrudgingly gave it a try and am so happy I did because this show was so damned wrong in every sense of the word but had me cracking up laughing. I had seen posters for this and ads but did not like the animation style so I was not willing to give it a shot but Jasmine knows what makes me laugh so I watched this entire season in two days.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

The Review: Batman And Harley Quinn

Batman And Harley Quinn 2/10

I love how so many people love the character of Harley Quinn and the response by movie makers is to just fuck her up and make her act stupid. I finally remembered that Batman And Harley Quinn was a movie that was made and checked it out tonight. I could have easily missed this and been fine with my life. DC has managed to make a lot of shitty animated films lately with really good art and voice acting. But, my lord, whoever is writing their stories needs to stop. I'm not quite sure who they are for. If it is for new fans then all the in-jokes in this will make no sense and as a fan of the original animated series this was just insulting.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Review: Shot Caller

Shot Caller 8/10

There will be some spoilers, ya babies. Jasmine has been telling me to watch this movie Shot Caller for a while and tonight I finally did and I am so glad. This was a cool ass movie and reinforced my belief that I would not make it far in prison before getting killed for being stupid or killing myself because I love shitting in private too much. This stars Nikolaj Coster-Waldau from Game Of Thrones as Jacob Harlon aka Money. He is a normal ass guy with a normal ass job and normal ass wife and kid. But you don't see that at first. We see him being released from prison looking all kinds of rough and meeting up with Jon Bernthal aka Frank (not Castle) and Emory Cohen from that great movie Brooklyn. Money comes out with a reputation, ends up at a party where a girl gets shot, and goes on the run. This is his first damned night out!

The Review: Patchwork/Salt & Fire

Patchwork 0/10

I watch a lot of movies. That means that I watch a lot of bad movies because they can't all be good. A few days ago I managed to watch two movies that I couldn't even finish they were so bad. The first was Patchwork. Three girls wake up to find that they have been sewn together by someone. They each control different parts of the body but can not get along because women. I have no idea how this garbage ends because I think I made it about twenty minutes in before remembering that I have way more entertaining things to watch than bullshit like this. It was not cool, funny, or even interesting. I like a bad film that can at least be funny in its bad but this was not one of them.

Monday, October 2, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Morning Mix

Over the last few mornings I have been working on songs as soon as I woke up. I heard on some podcast a while back about how the brain functions differently after waking up. It's true. I come up with weirder ideas when I wake up. Ask me why I'm single. I decided to do some remixes of Michael Jackson, The Bangles, Gwen Stefani, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, The Ting Tings and a few more. Hope you like some of them. I aso make music for headphones. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Sunday, October 1, 2017

My Song Of The Week: Tender Loving Care

I was out of the house for a few hours and had to make up for it with something so I did a remix of Michael Jackson's song PYT. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Friday, September 29, 2017

D And J DJ's Episode 4

D & J DJ's has returned! This time Jasmine has brought some Cardi B. and Yo Gotti to horrify me with She also introduces me to For The Dick/Pussy Challenge which meant that I had to make my own version. Click here for previous episodes. 

Thursday, September 28, 2017

The Review: The Hunt For Red October, Elvis & Nixon, The Ghost And The Darkness

The Hunt For Red October 8/10

Over the last few days I have been watching a lot of movies. The first was The Hunt For Red October. I was in the same room this was playing when I was younger in school but paid zero attention to it. All I knew was that Sean Connery was in it. Imagine my surprise and joy while watching this with J-Ro and finding out that he was speaking with a Russian accent and sometimes in Russian. That shit was hilarious! This movie was not what I assumed it was about. This dude came across as this crazy ass captain of a submarine but had an amazing plan that should not have worked if not for the help and understanding of a young Alec Baldwin who owned all of the chest hair. Like, all of it. I said while watching that he had more hair on his chest than my entire body. Then it was pointed out that men with a lot of body hair had a lot of testosterone. I then looked at my hairless arms and continued watching the movie. If you haven't seen this, all three of you, check this out.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

The Review: Lady Bloodfight

Lady Bloodfight 3/10

This is how IMDB describes Lady Bloodfight. “A blond American woman arrives in Asia. On arrival she is beaten up by thugs. She asks a fighter girl to train her - but really, she wants to take part in a tournament. Plenty of girls, of all races, fighting action.” By the way, Black chick? Taken out with one kick. She literally has the shortest fight in this movie. Just saying. Full disclosure, I watched this because I thought it was starring the Pink Ranger Amy Jo Johnson. I was wrong. It's Amy Johnston. She's still hot though so it was cool. She ends up heading to fight in a deadly tournament after getting fired after beating a customer up and then doing it again after he attacks her with his friends.

The Review: Moana/Kubo And The Two Strings

Moana 9/10

I decided to finally start plowing through my Netflix list and watched Moana. As you can tell by the score I fucking loved this movie. I'm not sure why I waited so long to see this. Hmm. Maybe because it takes a lot for me to get interested in animated movies these days. This is about a chief's daughter on a Polynesian island where her entire life she just wants to leave and go across the sea. Her dad is like “Fuck all that!” while her grandmother encourages her. As she grows up with the water being one of her friends along with a pig and an insane chicken that is close to the star of this movie she eventually sets sail after she finds out that the island is slowly dying.

My Song Of The Week: Pennywise

After seeing that movie IT last week I decided to make a creepy, circus type song. I like the way it came out. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.


Saturday, September 23, 2017

The Review: Message From The King/Little Evil

Message From The King 2/10

I watched this movie Message From The King on Netflix. I started yesterday and finished today. It was a struggle. It stars Chadwick Boseman aka Black Panther who gets a call from his sister in Los Angeles needing help from him. He heads there and ends up finding out that she is dead. She got mixed up with some bad drug dealers, bad boyfriend, bad movie producers, bad bad men, and bad dentists. She pretty much came to the city to die. He goes around beating the shit out of everyone with a bike chain and moral support from a single mother that gives blowjobs in a hotel room while her kid is at school.