Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Stop It Tyga

Michael Ray Nguyen-Stevenson aka Tyga is a rapper. I guess. He is 25 years old and fucking a teenager. Now, I know that when people are well known (even though many of you reading this are wondering who the hell this guy with tattoos he'll regret in five years is) they can and will fuck people that are illegal for them to be dating and creepy for them to even know. Hell, I barely even know anyone in their 20's.

The 17 year old he is dating (even though he won't say it but got her name tattooed on his arm) is named Kylie Jenner. You may know her as a girl on Instagram. Or Kim Kardashian's younger sister/inspiration for the Kylie Jenner Challenge that I wrote about. And she is 17 years old. And he is 25. And he has a child. Not with her though. A chick named Blac Chyna that is known for...well.

Friday, April 24, 2015

You Had One Job: Jared Leto Joker

So...yeah. They released the image of Jared Leto as The Joker for the upcoming Suicide Squad movie and my first reaction was “Oh, no...” followed by “Why?” I had seen a picture of Leto walking around with short green hair and I liked it. To me it meant that they were going with a classic version of Joker and not leaning on Heath Ledger's version. But after seeing this picture I kinda wish they had. I don't hate the way this looks. It would be cool to me if it wasn't supposed to be Joker. I'm just not digging this. The teeth. The tattoos. 

I just can't. 

I like a scary Joker, a silly Joker, or a terrifying Joker. This one looks like a member of Die Antwoord. I can't even really say that I'll check this out when its in theaters because the more I learn about DC's upcoming films the less I care. I do have to say that I am happy to see a picture for one of their films where the character doesn't look like they just got back home from a funeral.

Click here for previous You Had One Job

Dante Watches Happy Days "The Best Man"

I heard about this episode of the old series Happy Days called “The Best Man” that was centered around Black folks and had to watch it and record my reaction. Check this out if you feel like it. Click here to download it. 

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Fictional Character Shaming

Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans who are in the upcoming Avengers: Age Of Ultron movie are in hot shit after making a comment about a woman. When asked about a potential relationship between the two actors and this woman Renner said “She's a slut. a complete whore.” Then he followed that up with saying that “she has a prosthetic leg anyway” which caused Evans to laugh even harder saying “I was gonna say something along that line!”

No woman should be made fun of in this manner by two men that are famous Hollywood actors and making a lot of money starring in blockbuster films...if she is real. They are talking about a fictional character Black Widow played by Scarlett Johansson.

The Review: Escape From Alcatraz

I decided to watch the 1979 film Escape From Alcatraz starring Clint Eastwood. Years ago I went through a phase where I would rent movies starring actors that are now old and seeing why they are famous. With Eastwood it was a lot of Westerns. I never really wanted to watch this one because prison stories are easy to make bad. Thankfully I really enjoyed this movie. I was filmed well, good sound, acting was decent, and the characters were memorable.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Ross Radio Quickie Show 20

In this funky beat episode I play some The Jimmy Castor Bunch It's Just Begun, Gary Toms Empire 7-6-5-4-3-2-1 (Blow Your Whistle), B.T. Express Do It (Til' You're Satisfied), Tom Browne Funkin' For Jamaica, and Babe Ruth The Mexican. Click here for this and previous Ross Radio Quickie Shows

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Upcoming Fantastic 4, Batman v Superman, Star Wars, Ant Man Trailer Excitement Levels

I have recently been able to watch some of the trailers for some upcoming movies and decided to do an Excitement level post about them the way I did with those Marvel and DC Comics ones. This time its for Fantastic 4, Batman v Superman, Star Wars, and Ant Man. Its funny how trailers nowadays are teaser trailers or they show way too much of the movie. I haven't decided if it is ignorance or blind confidence when this is done but it is and I'm gonna talk about it.

The trailer for this got me more excited than I thought it would. The trailer seems to shut up a lot of complaints about the first as well as answered questions as well. We see that Sue Storm was adopted by Johnny Storm's dad answering the “Why is he Black but they are related?!” question. Thing looks better than he has ever looked on film. And Mr. Fantastic appears to use his powers in a cool, fast way and not like in previous films where it was more like “Look at how far he can stretch...slowly.” I'm looking forward to seeing this. 

Saturday, April 18, 2015

The Review: Spring Breakers

Spring Breakers is the movie Koko and I were supposed to watch a few weeks ago when we accidentally watched Spring Break from the 1980's. This is a very (spring break...) different movie. This is the tale of a director that wanted to have as many nude girls that looked 13 as possible on film. Koko enjoyed this film while I only liked the parts where James Franco was on screen as the rapper/drug dealer named Alien. He was awesome.

This is the story of one religious (spring break...) fuck up girl and her three sociopath friends that all really want to go to spring break because life is so hard when you're a hot young White chick. Three of them decide to rob a waffle place and get enough for their trip. They go and drink, do coke, smoke weed, and end up (spring break...) arrested at a party. By the way, this movie is full of mumbling. These girls can mumble their asses off. It turns out that the one with the worst acting (spring break...) and least attractive is the directors wife. Go figure. Alien ends up bailing them out of jail because he thinks they are special.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Nothing But Gossip April 16th 2015

Rapper (I like to say sound maker) Lil Wayne is being sued by a bus driver for threatening his life last year while on tour. Mark Jones says that while stopping for gas Wayne got upset and even pulled a gun on him. He is suing for assault, false imprisonment, and emotional distress. Yeah. Good luck with that one.

Kendall Jenner is going to be in the upcoming issue of GQ magazine and it creeps me out. She looks like a kid. Yeah, 19 is still young and legal but her age doesn't mean she doesn't appear to be a kid. Some dudes are creepy and really into her. Give me a woman with scars.

A model named Sarah Stage was fully pregnant and everyone is losing their mind that she looked so skinny. The kid was born Tuesday and weighed 8 pounds. This is a picture of her three days before he was born (the one on the right). There are pics she took wearing lingerie and pregnant but you can find those yourself.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Review: Batman Vs. Robin

Spoilers! Just to start, Batman Vs. Robin is awesome. This is the story of Batman trying to deal with the fact that his son Damien is a psychopath. He runs off on his own after stealing the Batmobile to stop the Doll Maker. He finds him and starts a battling when Batman shows up and tells him that he sucks at team work and needs to control his anger. Doll Man escapes and is killed by a guy in an evil owl costume that rips his heart out and tells Damien to follow his nature. Batman shows up like “The fuck, Robin?!” and Robin acts all insulted as if he wasn't gonna kill the guy himself.

Monday, April 13, 2015

10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched Daredevil

Netflix debuted the new Daredevil series from Marvel. What that means is that every single episode was released at once. All 13 episodes came out in one day which meant it became a race to hurry up and watch them before everyone started to spoil them which is hard depending on how much time you spend online. Which meant I personally had to hurry the fuck up and finish this. Daredevil is the story of a guy that was blinded as a child saving someone from dying and chemicals enhanced his other senses. As an adult he fights crime. Here are 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched Daredevil. This will be full of spoilers so if you don't wanna know or haven't watched this yet read this another time.

1. The Man In The Black Mask

Charlie Cox plays Matt Murdock aka Daredevil in this. He is awesome and does this perfectly. What I really dug about this was that he does not start off wearing the costume that we're used to. He starts off fighting crime known as “the man in the black mask.” For the first few episodes I was starting to think that they wouldn't even get to him wearing the red costume. They did eventually but they made this story so good that I wouldn't have been mad if they hadn't.

Theater Whore: Furious 7

Furious 7 – 8/10

This will have spoilers. KP and I decided that we needed to watch Furious 7 yesterday. First we watched Fast & Furious 6 right before heading out because she hadn't seen it before. We went to the Arclight and got the party started. This movie picks up right after the last one left off where the Asian dude got killed by Jason Statham in Tokyo and he called Vin Diesel and told him that he was coming for him. Turns out that Statham and the bad guy from the last film are brothers. Then the movie moves backwards a tiny bit. Paul Walker is getting used to being home and not dodging bullets while Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez struggle with her memory problems. After winning a race she starts acting all weird and runs away.

Jordana Brewster tells Diesel that she is pregnant but hasn't told Walker yet because she knows he hates being normal. Then they get a package from Japan that blows up their entire damned house. 

Saturday, April 11, 2015

The Review: Spring Break (1983)

Coco suggested that we watch a movie called Spring Break that was made in 1983. We were supposed to watch Spring Breakers which is a very different film. This was still a fun movie that had everything you would expect from an 80's film. Silly story, bad guys getting punched, misunderstandings, and boobs. Lots of boobs. It starts off with two nerds named Nelson and Adam heading to Fort Lauderdale for spring break when one of the should be helping his step-dad get ready for an election.

When they get to their crumby room it turns out that it has also been rented out to two guys that are party and sex monsters named Stu and O.T from Brooklyn. They drink, party, drink some more, make out with chicks that are 80's hot which is 2015 okay, and fight against the step-dad that is going well out of his way to bring his step-son back. He sends to goons and a private investigator to track him down and shut the hotel down that they are all staying at.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

In Defense Of Ryan Reynolds As Deadpool

Today I got to see an image of Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool for the upcoming movie. Most times I am annoyed that so much information about movies comes out way before the movie but in this case I needed to be comforted. Deadpool is one of my favorite comic book characters and one that I never thought would get a movie. He did make an appearance, allegedly, in that terrible X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie six years ago but that doesn't count. Why? Because of what they did to him! Reynolds was cool when that movie started.

But then this happened.

Monday, April 6, 2015

The Review: Tusk

This contains spoilers. What the fuck did I just watch? I have never said that sentence in a good way. Maybe after I go to a strip club for the first time I will. I just finished watching the movie Tusk written and directed by Kevin Smith. I am a huge fan of his movies for the most part. Six of his 11 films I have liked which is a good track record even if he were a fighter. This was not one of them. I'd heard of its development from listening to his podcast and was excited to finally get the chance to check it out. I totally could've lived without seeing this.

This is about a guy played by Justin Long that is on a podcast that heads to Canada to make fun of an interview a kid that chopped his leg off playing with a sword. He gets there and the kid has killed himself. He finds an ad with a guy played by Michael Parks offering lodging and also has some good stories to tell. He gets there and is drugged by the old man and told that he is going to be turned into a walrus. Meanwhile back at home his co-host and girlfriend are having the sex with each other.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

The Review: Death Wish (1974)

I have never been a huge fan of Charles Bronson. Not for any reason other than the fact that I have not seen too many of his movies. I've seen maybe five of them out of the dozens and dozens he has made. Today I decided to watch Death Wish. This was made in 1974 which makes for fun scenes like a cop having to run for blocks to find a pay phone that works. This movie also had a young Denzel Washington and Jeff Goldblum.

Bronson stars as Paul Kersey. He is a normal guy with a nice normal family until one day his wife is followed home by Goldblum and his friends who attack and rape(?) his wife and daughter. The wife is beaten up and I know if this was made today it'd be way more brutal. Kersey and his son-in-law arrive at the hospital and he finds out that his wife died and his daughter is mentally fucked because of what happened. After a trip for work he is given a gun as a gift and as soon as he gets back home his kill switch is engaged.

The Review: Dead Rising Watchtower

I will now be titling DVDiculous, TV Slut, Way Back, Babbling Old Man, and Demand It as The Review because it makes no sense to have that many different titles for things I watch. Today I saw a Crackle made movie called Dead Rising: Watchtower based off of the Dead Rising video game. The trailer for this looked fun but unfortunately the movie wasn't. I wasn't expecting too much. Just some fun and crazy ways to watch zombies get killed in film. This kept switching between goofy, serious, gory, then taking itself way too serious or me to be fully committed to it. I think I just described bad sex.

This movie revolves around an internet reporter which no one takes seriously in this. He and his photographer are are caught up in the middle of a zombie outbreak in a quarantined zone. They both manage to escape but she ends up back there gathering information on the military's role in events. Meanwhile he ends up hooking up with an infected girl that takes the cure, Zombrex, to stay normal. They hook up with a mother that stabbed her zombie daughter but still thinks she is alive because she is crazy and eventually she is gonna find her daughter and be killed by her.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

It Starts With A Butterfly Joke

Just the other day my friend and I were talking about comedy and comedians getting into trouble for saying things that were considered offensive. We talked about not being as offended by things as adults as we were when we were younger as well as the intent of jokes.

I woke up to a series of over 50 tweets from comedian Patton Oswalt that starts with an old joke and ends in a great way. If you have the time, check it out. I have condensed it into an easier way to read it because fuck reading, right? No one has time for that shit! Just reading what you just did has already caused you to lose precious time that could have been spent on making yourself a better person. You can scroll away. Its fine. I understand. No, there are no more pictures to look at in this post. That is the only one. The rest are just words. Lots of wordy words. 

Q: Why did the man* throw* butter* out of the window*? A: He wanted to see* butter fly*! "Man" in my previous Tweet should not be construed as privileged, misogynist or anti-trans. Nor should there be ANY assumption of said man's race or religion. It could be an African American man, Asian, or any one of the vast multi-cultural mosaic which make up the world we live in today. "Man" was simply an archaic placeholder for the "subject" of the joke, and thus should not denote privilege nor exclude any sexuality, religion, nationality or offend any feelings the joke listener may or may not have or have ever experienced in the past.