Upcoming DC Films Excitement Levels 2

Five years ago I did a series of posts about my excitement levels for the upcoming movies meaning mostly superhero ones. There are a ton of DC movies coming out and I am gonna focus on the ones that at least have a cast because DC has a shit ton of stuff in development. There are some that I covered before that still have not come out and after a series of unsuccessful films. Okay, fine. I'll still talk about some of the ones that are allegedly gonna come out. I won't get into how DC has actual dozens of TV shows and still waste time on finding a way to make a movie that has zero connection to them with dozens more that were canceled with others coming back on a different network. I rate these on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being “Meh” and 5 being “Get hype, hookers!”

The Review: The Death Of Superman

The Death Of Superman 8/10

This one movie did more to endure me to Superman as a character than Man Of Steel, Batman V Superman, and Justice League combined. The Death Of Superman is not like the comic book version. This animated DC Universe takes bits and pieces from different areas and timelines of DC Comics and makes it its own thing which I appreciate. The biggest thing that this got right was that it showed one thing that movies have had a problem showing: Superman being loved. There is a big difference between being loved and being appreciated. In the movies Superman is appreciated because he saves people and leaves. He isn't trying to be famous for what he does. I mean, in those two times we saw him do it in the latest films. In these movies Superman is welcomed. He has friends. He has a personal life. He is a well rounded character, not just a guy that punches big things and destroys the city. Yeah, the city gets fucked up in this but not as much as I expected.

The Review: Batman Ninja

Batman Ninja 2/10

Well, Batman Ninja looked cool. That is about all the good things I can say about this clusterfuck of a movie. I read afterward that the dialogue is 90% different than the original Japanese and I'll check that out after the taste of this movie has washed out. Batman gets sent back through time and awakens or whatever two years after everyone else has. Lots of fighting happen, giant robots, and explosions. I really wanted this to kick ass but it just stunk. I can see people enjoying this but I just stared at the screen and asked myself too many times “Why am I watching this?” 

The Review: Suicide Squad Hell To Pay

Suicide Squad: Hell To Pay 8/10

Holy crap this was awesome! Suicide Squad: Hell To Pay was exactly what I wanted it to be. I did not realize that it had been four years since that last cool movie Batman Assault On Arkham. Click here to check out that review. Two times now they have managed to do in animated form what that expensive ass movie could not. Just take some criminals that will have their heads blown off if they do not follow orders, put them in a shitty spot where some will die, the end. Just make sure Deadshot and Harley Quinn live and you're good. My only real complaint is that they made Amanda Waller skinny. I always like when she is this big, Black woman.

The Review: Batman Gotham By Gaslight

Batman: Gotham By Gaslight 3/10

I was excited about Batman: Gotham By Gaslight when I first heard about it. I had not read the comic so I don't care whether or not it is true to the original story. Just want a good animated movie which DC has been lacking for a while. Turns out this was another disappointing one which really sucks. This takes place during Victorian Gotham where Jack the Ripper is killing ladies of the night. Batman continues to show up just after a crime is committed. Selina Kyle is also there trying to figure out who is killing women and stop them.

You Had One Job: DC Cinematic Universe

$675 million worldwide does not sound bad. If I did anything that made that much money I'd be singing the songs of my people and crippling strippers with stacks of money. But that huge amount is actually terrible when you take into account Justice League stars Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman...and the rest. This is their tent pole film that is supposed to springboard many other films in the DC cinematic universe. To put this into perspective, Doctor Strange made $677 million worldwide. Yeah. A movie about a character that people kinda know that had no build up. There was no Strange in Avenger films to give some sort of backstory. In reality Justice League should have made a billion dollars or more. Deadpool cost $58 million and made $783 million.

The Review: Teen Titans The Judas Contract

Teen Titans: The Judas Contract 4/10

I don't know why the animated DC films keep getting worse. There used to be a thing where Marvel made good live action and terrible animated ones and DC had good animated ones and bad live action. Now DC is just batting out on both ends and it sucks. This new Teen Titans: The Judas Contract is their latest animated movie and it stunk and was confusing. It starts off with a flashback of the Teen Titans back when Starfire first joins the team. Not sure why this was needed but they did it. It then goes to the present with Nightwing hanging with the new team from the previous Teen Titans vs. Justice League movie except they have another member, Terra.

The Review: Justice League Gods And Monsters

I finally got around to watching Justice League Gods And Monsters and I didn't enjoy it all that much. I had watched the shorts and got the same feeling I did when watching the movie which was I felt like there had been an entire series that I somehow had no idea about. It is a very different take on the DC Universe which could easily work if there had been individual films about each of the characters. As it is, each was told through flashbacks that should have been at the beginning of the movie and gone from there.

In this version Superman is the son of General Zod but on Earth after crashing as a baby is found by a Mexican couple who name him Hernan Guerra. He's a dick but effective. Batman is not Bruce Wayne but instead Kirk Langstrom who is normally Man-Bat. He was sick, took an injection, became a vampire. Its silly. And Wonder Woman is a New God named Bekka whose husband Orion was slaughtered and she tapped out and came to Earth. Its weak.

You Had One Job: Jared Leto Joker

So...yeah. They released the image of Jared Leto as The Joker for the upcoming Suicide Squad movie and my first reaction was “Oh, no...” followed by “Why?” I had seen a picture of Leto walking around with short green hair and I liked it. To me it meant that they were going with a classic version of Joker and not leaning on Heath Ledger's version. But after seeing this picture I kinda wish they had. I don't hate the way this looks. It would be cool to me if it wasn't supposed to be Joker. I'm just not digging this. The teeth. The tattoos. 

I just can't. 

I like a scary Joker, a silly Joker, or a terrifying Joker. This one looks like a member of Die Antwoord. I can't even really say that I'll check this out when its in theaters because the more I learn about DC's upcoming films the less I care. I do have to say that I am happy to see a picture for one of their films where the character doesn't look like they just got back home from a funeral.

Click here for previous You Had One Job. 

The Review: Batman Vs. Robin

Spoilers! Just to start, Batman Vs. Robin is awesome. This is the story of Batman trying to deal with the fact that his son Damien is a psychopath. He runs off on his own after stealing the Batmobile to stop the Doll Maker. He finds him and starts a battling when Batman shows up and tells him that he sucks at team work and needs to control his anger. Doll Man escapes and is killed by a guy in an evil owl costume that rips his heart out and tells Damien to follow his nature. Batman shows up like “The fuck, Robin?!” and Robin acts all insulted as if he wasn't gonna kill the guy himself.

Casting Slouch: Erica Tazel As Vixen

So I decided to start this new thing where I cast Hollywood movies that may or may not exist. Last time I did something like this Benedict Cumberbatch was cast as Dr. Strange which means that I have total pull in terms of casting stars. I shall call this Casting Slouch and start with actress Erica Tazel being cast as DC Comics character Vixen. Some of you may wonder who Vixen is. Those of you that don't watch the amazing show Justified on FX may be asking who Tazel is. Either way I feel bad for you because you're missing out.

Her television debut was on an episode of Sex In The City which I need to go back and watch since I've seen ever single episode of that show and can't recall this. She is better known as Rachel Brooks on Justified. Though she was born in Texas and the character, Vixen, is from Africa I know she can pull this off. How do I know? Because she is an actress! It doesn't hurt that she is cute as all get out. Seriously. When I first saw her on the show I thought she was the business and hoped that she would stay on the show. Six seasons in and she has! Now to Vixen.

Upcoming DC Films Excitement Levels

DC Films has released a list of ten upcoming films. Some of these are really worth being excited about while others are highly questionable. If you're not a fan of superheroes you are gonna hate the next 15 years of movies and television because the market is seriously being flooded with them. The problem with some of these is that the latter ones seem to depend on the success of the former.

Sony, that own the Marvel character Spiderman had set up for a Sinister Six movie but after the way the second film of the reboot did that idea has seemed to go away for now. I can easily see the same happening with some of these.