Sitting In The Aisle: Superman

Superman 10/10

Spoilers. Finally! A good Superman movie! I have watched every Superman film. I made a list years ago of who I thought the best one was. I watched the cartoon in various forms ranging back to the damn 1940s. I am a huge Batman fan but have always hoped that a Superman movie would give me the feeling that the animated series in the 90s did. When I heard that James Gunn was writing and directing this I got happy and knew I had to see it in a theater because that man has the ability to make me give a damn about characters I didn't know existed or barely cared about. The fact that I liked Superman and Clark Kent equally was a fresh feeling. I sat in that theater feeling like a damn kid experiencing this character for the first time.

Casting Slouch: Armie Hammer as Superman

I'm tired of DC playing games with their shitty ass movies. Yeah. Everyone talks about how bad the movies are and that if you hate them that you are a Marvel fanboy. Shut up. Just because you like garbage doesn't mean everyone else has to. I like good shit. I even like bad good shit. I don't like bad shitty shit like the DC movies. I re-watched Wonder Woman recently and realized that it sucked. Yeah, it's better than Batman V. Superman. Know what else was better than that movie? A banana I had for breakfast this morning. That potassium filled yellow wang from nature gave me more pleasure than BVS. How was Wonder Woman any better than Man Of Steel, Justice League, or BVS? It starred a lady. That's pretty much it. The story was not good. Gal Gadot is not what I'd call a competent actress. She has the same facial expression when she first meets a male, blocks bullets with her bracelets, and when she defeats Ares.

There. I just destroyed your hero. With this Casting Slouch series I try to take bad and make it good...er. I want to recast Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman. From scratch. No connection to the other films at all. These will not be origin stories. Fuck that. With each of these I will explain the story that I'd like to see and why as well as what should not be seen and barely even talked about. Let's see how bad I am at this.

Upcoming DC Films Excitement Levels

DC Films has released a list of ten upcoming films. Some of these are really worth being excited about while others are highly questionable. If you're not a fan of superheroes you are gonna hate the next 15 years of movies and television because the market is seriously being flooded with them. The problem with some of these is that the latter ones seem to depend on the success of the former.

Sony, that own the Marvel character Spiderman had set up for a Sinister Six movie but after the way the second film of the reboot did that idea has seemed to go away for now. I can easily see the same happening with some of these.

DVDiculous: Superman Unbound

Today I found out that a Superman movie, Superman: Unbound, came out a few months ago and I'll be damned if it wasn't pretty good. Not as good as Superman Vs. The Elite but it was still good. There are a few things happening in this and it could have easily been spit into two films so it feels rushed at times. 

Lois Lane lets Clark Kent aka Superman know that she is tired of hiding their relationship from everyone but he feels that he has to to protect her. Each time they try and talk he has to rush off to save the world, city, or Lois which he brings up and is totally true. I mean, the film starts off with her being held hostage and Supergirl and Superman having to save her ass. 

Who Is The Best Superman?

A few days ago I watched the latest Superman film Man Of Steel and enjoyed it. It got me to thinking of all the guys that have played Superman in a live action movie and who was the best one? There are a few things that have to happen for it to be considered Superman and for some reason it doesn't always happen. He has to come from Krypton, fly, be hurt by Kryptonite, and look the part. Superman has a certain look that is mostly in the guy in the costume more than the costume itself.

You don't count!

Pictured is Tom Welling from the Smallville series. I'm not including him in this list for a lot of different reasons. He doesn't wear the costume until the very last episode of ten seasons of horseshit and even then it isn't a clear image of him. Plus he looks like he cries into pillows at night. Superman cant have that image, damn it! This is just the movies and one of the series because it actually featured a costumed Superman.

Theater Whore: Man Of Steel

Finally! The Ross has come back to…Theater Whore! Yes, that was a terrible imitation of The Rock. Shut up. But seriously, it has been way too damn long since I have dragged my ass to the movies and can write a review. I was gonna see Star Trek a few weeks ago but ended up staying home, talking on the phone, and cleaning because fuck outdoors. Today I headed up to The Arclight in Hollywood which is actually on Sunset and saw Man Of Steel.

Oh, there are gonna be a lot of spoilers.

This is gonna be different from my past reviews because I haven’t done this in a while and I really want to focus on all the good things that happened in this movie. A lot of people were against it from the start because Zack Snyder directed it. I liked his film Watchmen, 300, and Sucker Punch so I wasn’t worried about him. I wasn’t even worried about Henry Cavill playing Superman because he looked the part. I was worried about liking the actual movie.

The Rant Zone Show 2

In this episode I bitch about Katie Holmes not aging, the Top 10 movies of the past weekend, people posting too many Batman spoilers, Mike Diva and his funny ass videos, The Help movie sounding annoying, and Superman’s strange ass outfit. Click here to download The Rant Zone!