Theater Whore: Man Of Steel

Finally! The Ross has come back to…Theater Whore! Yes, that was a terrible imitation of The Rock. Shut up. But seriously, it has been way too damn long since I have dragged my ass to the movies and can write a review. I was gonna see Star Trek a few weeks ago but ended up staying home, talking on the phone, and cleaning because fuck outdoors. Today I headed up to The Arclight in Hollywood which is actually on Sunset and saw Man Of Steel.

Oh, there are gonna be a lot of spoilers.

This is gonna be different from my past reviews because I haven’t done this in a while and I really want to focus on all the good things that happened in this movie. A lot of people were against it from the start because Zack Snyder directed it. I liked his film Watchmen, 300, and Sucker Punch so I wasn’t worried about him. I wasn’t even worried about Henry Cavill playing Superman because he looked the part. I was worried about liking the actual movie.

I know that people love the old Christopher Reeves movies. I didn’t. I liked that he looked like Superman but the story and making up new powers (throwing his symbol, his date rape kiss, and making holograms, anyone?) were ridiculous to me even as a kid. Superman Returns was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I didn’t watch the Superboy series, Lois & Clark was ass, and Smallville was a dick tease of a show. “Put on the costume! Fly, bitch, fly!” It just dragged on for ten seasons and by the time what I wanted to happen happened I just sighed. It felt like I had guilt tripped a chick into getting a blowjob.

One of the biggest problems I have had with the Superman movies is the villains. Superman is fucking powerful. So when he goes against Lex Luthor it is brains versus brawn where Lex starts doing stupid out of character shit until Superman wins. In this new film the villains are not only dangerous and brutal, but they are kinda justified in their actions which makes a villain far more sympathetic than if they were just like “I’m gonna blow the planet up because they cancelled Firefly!” Let me cover things topic by topic so I don’t go on a tangent.

Krypton

This was the first time I have ever gotten a true sense of what Krypton was like. This movie showed me that it was more than just a planet that Superman was on for a few hours before landing in Smallville, Kansas. There was life, politics, and people. The inhabitants were given their tasks in life through genetics for thousands of years when Jor El and Lara (Superman’s parents) decided to have a child naturally. That is a big no-no. The animals on the planet, the technology, and the environment was showcased very well. It didn’t look like a bootleg Oz like it had in previous movies and cartoons.

Clark Kent

This movie did the same thing that Captain America did that made it such a good movie to me: made me give a fuck about Superman before he became Superman. From the flashbacks from his childhood showing how hard it was to have his powers to holding back from asshole kids that wanted to hurt him and being raised in a world where you know you can do great things but have a parent that wants you to hold it back. This was the first time I got a good glimpse at what having super hearing and x-ray vision would be like: it would suck! When you see your teachers heart beating and look at a little girl and see her facial muscles and cant understand it, that would be complete balls.

As Clark grows up he ends up finding work as a waiter or on a crab boat but eventually something happens where he has to leave because his cover is blown. You just imagine the Sad Hulk music playing when he has to go from town to town pretending you are normal. But when you get mad you can put their diesel truck through a telephone pole. You see that Clark is really a good guy but is also sad because he cant be who he is. It was so damned bad that his father stopped Clark from saving his life just to keep his secret.

Lois Lane

Amy Adams plays Lois in this and I am so happy with that. The last chick they used looked 15 and had two different colored eyes and was just horrible. Adams treats Lois as an adult. She is a good reporter but not always getting into dumb ass spots where Superman always has to save her. Hell, the first time he really meets her he has to use his heat vision to burn a wound closed on her. She looked like an adult and was a believable reporter.

Villains

General Zod and Faora were so badass! Zod was played by Michael Shannon who is one of the most underrated actors and was such a convincing evil bastard that I’m not sure I could meet him in real life and not salute him. Like I said before, his motives, while ones that would lead to the death of all humanity, were very noble. He was born and raised as a warrior. It was all he knew. So when Superman tried to prevent him from doing what he was born to do it was an affront to his soul.

Faora played by Antje Traue was so deadly. She and Superman were trading blows like she was Doomsday or some shit. She is very proactive in her violence and effective at jumping on jets and ripping them apart with her bare hands.

Powers

As a kid he shows powers like strength, x-ray vision- and heat vision. He doesn’t fly until later and it is more of the old school leaping. It isn’t until later when he actually pushes himself to fly. He is strong when he starts but like with any form of strength training the more he does it the better he gets. There is a scene where Lois points out that he is handcuffed and he tells her its to make the military feel safer. Oh, and in a previous blog (check it out here) I pointed out that he barely uses his heat vision. He uses it multiple times in this and it is awesome!

I have dodged spoilers for this movie and haven’t read any reviews yet so I don’t know how the rest of the world feels about it. But I really enjoyed this movie. I was hoping it would be just okay but it turned out to be a fantastic movie. It took all these years for it to happen for me but there is finally a good Superman movie!

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