Nothing But Gossip June 10th 2013

Former NFL player and habitual fuck up Chad Johnson was sentenced to 30 days in jail for violating his probation. Apparently he was gonna get a lighter sentence but when he slapped his male lawyer on the ass the judge got pissed. 

Justin Bieber is being a jackass again. He stole a photographers camera and when the guy begged for it back he took the SIM card instead. I’m not into all that technology shit but apparently that’s very important. Probably had dick pics on it. Anyhoot, this is all on tape and you best believe Bieber will get in trouble. Bullshit. If he hasn’t been busted for all the other dumb shit he’s done this isn’t gonna do it. The guy also says that a bodyguard brandished his gun and dude’s lawyer says that the bodyguard doesn’t have a license to be one or carry a piece in Florida. Of course its in Florida! In the last week Bieber and his people have gotten into it four times. Three in Miami and once in Hollywood. 

Cant you just imagine him sounding like an angry kitten?

Kobe Bryant and his mom have come to an agreement with her trying to sell off his shit claiming that he had given her the stuff (rings, trophies. and other stuff). Of course she released a statement that is full of words that real people don’t use like “unintended”, “inadvertent”, and “regret.”

Chris Brown aka MC Fightswomenandgays could have a suit filed against him for his rumble with Frank Ocean a while back. I’m sick of this. Why are we still pretending that this asshat is gonna do time for all the shit he does? No wonder kids don’t give a damn about education. Get money or pretend you have it then you can coast through life. Fuck learning. 

“Rapper” 2 Chainz was robbed at gunpoint in San Francisco recently. Reports say his people took of running “like cockroaches” when shit went down. Police say that he didn’t want to work with them and wanted to handle things himself. Hopefully he has another group of friends with him. I’ve never liked when rappers or anyone walked around all flashy. That shit is only appropriate if you’re a king or something. 

Not 2 Chainz but the best part of one of his videos.

Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson was taken to UCLA where her dad died after cutting her arm with a meat cleaver and overdosing on pills. Damn. She was placed on 5150 hold for 72 hours. They say she is now doing just fine which I assume is a huge overstatement. They should wait a while before claiming things like that. Click here to see me and rapper Botany Hill at the hospital right after MJ died and the madness involved.

Singer or whatever she does Ciara was served with legal papers for failing to appear at a club Friday night. While on stage at the West Hollywood Pride Parade she was served while she was singing! 

Nick Stahl who was in Terminator 3 and Sin City and is one of many actors to play John Conner that has led a fucked up life recently gave some advice to Amanda Bynes aka Lindsay 2.0: stop Tweeting. I would agree but her shit is so golden. Let’s find some Tweets from her! This is the last three things she said to her almost 2 million followers.

“It's an honor for me to follow you on twitter. If I don't follow you it's because you're not worth following.”

“When everything you do gets scrutinized you lash out! I freak out on whoever calls me something I'm not!”

“Don't take ur issues with me to twitter. If u have an issue with me (I don't know why you would if u don't know me) - talk to me in person!”

Actor Michael Douglas recently said that he got throat cancer from eating pussy. There’s no way to make that sound any nicer. Well, I probably could’ve said oral sex but I’m not classy like that. Now I am a huge fan of mouth love. Huge fan! I know that a lot of guys get accused of not doing it and this old bastard is not gonna help matters. Can you imagine some jackass going “Well, I was gonna do it but the guy from Falling Down said that it could kill me!” If you’re not eating vajayjay then you have to be a gay male or straight woman. Otherwise there’s no excuse. Unless you are bad at it. Then you should practice on a lemon or something. 

Octomom is being checked out for welfare fraud. Guess who was still collecting welfare when she was pulling in over $200,000 last year? If she is busted she will get three years in prison…which means absolutely nothing will happen to her.