The Review: Star Wars The Rise Of Skywalker

The Rise Of Skywalker 2/10

I quickly realized I could not write this like a normal review and chose to just put my immediate thoughts down while watching. 

Kylo Ren flies his ship like a damn lunatic.

They got jars of Snokes. Like a whole gang of the damn things.

Holy crap Palpatine got a lot of big ass ships. Why not just send them all out and start wrecking shit right now? What's the hold up?

Light speed jumping? I don't know shit about shit but that shit seems ridiculous. Have any other Star Wars movies tried that nonsense? It looks like what was done for a gag in Guardians Of The Galaxy 2.

There is a spy with the bad guys. Bet its that redheaded dude from Ex Machina.

The Review: Star Wars The Force Awakens

Star Wars The Force Awakens 7/10

I liked this movie. Even though I have about eight Star Wars shirts and have made countless images of myself using stuff from the films I did not grow up watching the movies. I waited so long that I watched them in actual order and did not understand why people were such fans after watching Episodes 1-3. I got it a bit more after watching 4-6 but not seeing these as a kid definitely made it harder for me to get wrapped up in. I watched Rogue One and was confused there was no Kylo Ren. Then I watched The Last Jedi and was confused as to why Kylo was already jacked up. Turns out I watched them out of damn order again. So tonight I decided to watch The Force Awakens and either tonight or tomorrow will watch The Rise Of Skywalker and then I'll be done. I watch The Mandalorian so don't come at me with that crazy talk and watch a lot of videos online explaining lore from books, comics, and series. I'm not totally lost when it comes to this stuff. I watch reviews for the films and all I get from fans is that they hate things or love things and hate people who hate what they love. It's weird.

Dante Watches A Taste Of Evil

A Taste Of Evil 8/10

I liked this movie was more than I thought I would. This is about a girl that gets attacked, ends up in a Swiss hospital, comes back home, and shit gets bananas. Made for TV in 1971 but still good right now. The perfect amount of nonsense.

Barbara Stanwyck as Miriam Jennings

Barbara Parkins as Susan Wilcox

Roddy McDowall as Dr. Michael Lomas

William Windom as Harold Jennings

Arthur O'Connell as John

Dawn Frame as Young Susan

Click here for previous Dante Watches.

The Review: Justice League Dark Apokolips War

 

Justice League Dark Apokolips War 5/10

Over the years I've watched a lot of animated DC movies. They used to make the best ones and were far better than the Marvel ones. Over time these movies changed the art style and made stories that actually connected to one another. This one, Justice League Dark: Apokolips War, was an okay movie. This could have been an entire season of a show but they squeezed a lot of characters and stories into ninety minutes so all of it felt very rushed. Basically Superman gets a head sup that Darkseid is planning on taking over Earth and since they have a warning they should attack him first. They don't know that someone is spying on them so Darkseid is watching all of this like “We'll see about that, bitch.” The entire Justice League heads out and get slaughtered immediately by these Parademons that are crossbred with Doomsday. How? Don't know. But imaging flying Doomsday's. They are beaten pretty easily and the ones that aren't killed are in hiding or enslaved by Darkseid.

The Review: Inhumans Season 1

Inhumans 0/10

Why does Black Bolt make Zoolander face? I almost gave this series a negative number. Everyone that worked on this show should wipe it off their credits because I don't think it could help them in any way. I remembered that this was a show that existed and decided to watch. I was gonna do the first two episodes at first but then decided that if I was gonna be fair to it I needed to complete it. That means I wasted over seven hours of my life watching this. Thankfully I was doing other things while it was on otherwise I actually would've stopped sooner. This show doesn't give a fuck. Wanna know how I know this show doesn't give a fuck? Look at the credits.

That is some shit a child came up with. I hope. Speaking of hope, mine were high when I first heard this was gonna be a movie. That got scrapped and was gonna be attached to Agents of Shield which I stopped watching because everyone was too attractive. That issue appears in this as well but not as badly. I am gonna go through all the main characters and try to explain the story lines they had or lack of. This is what I know about Inhumans. I am a fan of Black Bolt. He's fucking cool. I had an Inhumans shirt back in the day. I know about the powers of the rest of the royal family the team consist of but don't really care all that much. I don't know a ton about the comics and have a very general knowledge of them. This helps to keep me from comparing this show to the comic and complaining about what they got wrong. I mean, I still will with what I know. But for the most part I was able to watch this and not connect it to the comic.