DVDiculous: Single Moms Club

Yesterday my cousin Mala brought me some dinner after I had a root canal because she is awesome. I was flipping through Amazon trying to find something to watch and we stumbled upon Tyler Perry's movie Single Mom's Club. Now...come on. I am not a fan of this guy and a lot of it is due to the fact that he has one note and every guy in his movies looks better than I ever will. Yeah. I'm not using a single image of any of them in this review. Deal with it. I'm also not saying the name of any of the actresses because in this movie they are types.

DVDiculous: Penguins Of Madagascar

I got to watch the movie Penguins Of Madagascar recently and loved this crazy ass movie. I have watched a part of one of the movies connected to this one and didn't like the art style so I passed on it and had no interest in these but after watching this I'm gonna have to change that. This movie had me laughing almost every single minute.

This is about three young seals that end up finding an egg and making it the next member of the team. They end up drifting on an iceberg and end up leaving a circus and breaking into Fort Knox to steal some Cheesy Dibbles from a vending machine and end up captured by an evil scientist that is really an octopus named Dave. Dave hates them and wants to turn all penguins ugly since when he was at a zoo he was the best attraction until the cute penguins arrived.

DVDiculous: Justice League Throne of Atlantis

I got to watch this new Justice League: Throne of Atlantis. This is an Aquaman movie that also features the Justice League because you can not have this character in a film alone. Aquaman aka Arthur Curry is getting drunk in a bar after the death of his father and chatting with a lobster. He gets into a fight with some guys who want to eat it and kicks their asses. 

He is damn near unstoppable. Meanwhile, a submarine is attacked by creatures and Cyborg gets involved. This movie is almost as much about Cyborg as it is Aquaman.

DVDiculous: How To Train Your Dragon 2

I finally got to see How To Train Your Dragon 2 and I'll be damned if I didn't like it more than the first first. Most times they make sequels to kids films it is an obvious cash grab and they tend to just do more of what the first film did but badly. That wasn't the case with this one. This had better animation, a better story, and an even more tragic ending than the first one and if you saw the first one you're probably asking “How is that even possible!”

This takes place five years after the first film so all the kids are a bit older and the dragons are integrated into their land, Berk. Hiccup has recovered from having his leg lost at the end of the first film and is riding Toothless around finding new lands to create a map and not wanting to rule the land.

DVDiculous: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Koko and I checked out this movie The Grand Budapest Hotel. I'd wanted to see it a while back and for whatever reason just never got around to it. It is directed by Wes Anderson and if you like his stuff chances are you'll love this. Personally, this was close to being my favorite film by him.

It is a very strange story told by a man who is telling a story of what he was told by another man whose tale is really about another man. Yeah, you try and make sense of this crazy ass movie. This is the story of a young bell boy played by Tony Revolori that is taught how to do his job properly at the hotel by a man played by Ralph Fiennes that sleeps with older ladies that come and stay at the hotel. One of them passes away and he races to be at her funeral.

DVDiculous: The Heat

I decided to watch The Heat after watching just the first few minutes last year, having a friend tell me she liked it in theaters, and my cousin recently bringing it up. It stars Sandra Bullock as FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn who is a tightass no one likes. Melissa McCarthy plays Boston Detective Shannon Mullins who is the same character she plays in every other film just more violent. This was done by a director who'd done movies I laughed at before so I wasn't too worried about that. The first few scenes I had seen before made me laugh.

DVDiculous: Welcome To The Punch

I heard about this movie while watching an interview called Welcome To The Punch and decided to check it out because of the title and because Mark Strong is who I would want to be if I were brought back to life as a White guy. He just looks badass. This is about a detective in England named Max Lewinsky played by James McAvoy chasing after a criminal named Jacob Sternwood played by Strong. And then the story starts to fall apart after that.

During a heist Strong shoots McAvoy in the leg making him miserable. He is the one that got away. Strong comes back after years away when his son is caught up in some shit that ends up making a 90 minute film seem like two hours. The first scene is cool with the heist and watching McAvoy obsess over catching Strong. But then it turns out that everyone that has a shadow is dirty and it is just a cliché movie that wastes two awesome ass guys. Lots of great actors in this actually but for nothing. This could've been an awesome movie with some trimming and rewrites. Then I noticed it was written and directed by the same person and sighed.

Click here for previous DVDiculous. 

DVDiculous: Batman Assault On Arkham

Once again DC proves that when it comes to animated features they are head above shoulders superior to Marvel. This movie Batman: Assault On Arkham is one of the most bad ass animated movies I have ever seen. The premise is pretty basic and that is what makes this even better. You take six criminals who are serving hard time, cut a deal with them for shorter sentences if they survive the mission, and let all hell break loose. Out of the six of the Suicide Squad I was not familiar with four of the members but after seeing this I am interested in finding out more about them.

You have Deadshot who is kind of the team leader because he is the least insane. He is good with weapons and wants to be able to see his daughter. There is Harley Quinn who is now split with The Joker and has attached herself to Deadshot. Captain Boomerang who has issues with Deadshot and is constantly trying to prove that he isn’t the butt of the joke. Black Spider who is a modern day ninja and holds his own against Batman. He trusts no one on the team. King Shark who is a metahuman and can and will bite the heads off of people. Last there is Killer Frost who until seeing this I thought was one of the lamest characters in the DCU.

DVDiculous: Night Watch/Day Watch

There is this series of movies that I thought I'd seen (at least one of them) but it turns out I had seen a scene from it. The first is called Night Watch. This is about a...okay. I just finished reading the book two weeks ago after watching the movie so it is kinda hard not to mix up the truth of the book and the stuff from the movie, but I'll try. It starts off with these warriors (knights) fighting back in the day. They are called Others. One side fights Light and the others Darkness. After a huge battle they decide that they need to cute this shit out or they will all die. Now humanity is allowed to choose to be bad or not. Uh...yeah.

The main guy Anton played by Konstantin Khabensky goes to visit a witch to get his girlfriend back. He tells her that she will miscarry and come back to him. He's kinda hesitant (by the way, this does happen in the book but not to Anton whatsoever and its actually in the second book and now I will try not to bring the books up again) but just as he is about to go through with it the Night Watch show up and stop the witch and arrest her. This is what the Night Watch does. Makes sure people don't practice magic illegally. Its 12 years later and Anton is working with the good guys.

DVDiculous: JLA Adventures Trapped In Time

Time travel is always an iffy topic to base a story around. This movie JLA Adventures Trapped In Time proved it because even as I watched it happening I just kept thinking “See, now that they did this that is going to happen and now he doesn't exist because she saw this...” and then my head starts to spin and I don't care anymore. The Legion Of Doom have a plan to make more ice on Earth so when it melts coastlines will flood. This is Lex Luthor's plan and he is in full 1970's super villain mode because this is a stupid plan.

This Justice League show up and they end up fighting them on land and even in space. I was confused as to which Robin was teaming with Batman (whose voice is played by a different actor and he sounds Black) because he appeared to be a young Dick Grayson but acted like Jason Todd but was probably Tim Drake. Either way the JL win after Captain Cold is like “Fuck everything!” and blasts the planet with one super strong beam of ice. Luthor is believed to be dead and Superman pouts instead of being like “Good! Party at the Fortress of Solitude!” Meanwhile in the future...

DVDiculous: Son Of Batman

I saw a trailer for this Son Of Batman movie and even though I absolutely hate the character of Damien Wayne I decided to watch it because fuck you its a Batman movie. The immediate issue I have with this is that they treat Ra's al Ghul like a B-level villain. This is one of the only villains that know who Batman really is and has walked into the Bat Cave. He is a serious son of a bitch.

Anyhoot, while Ra's' daughter Talia and all of them are chilling at their super evil base it gets attacked by Deathstroke and a bunch of mercenaries. Ra's gets killed before he can reach the Lazurus Pit (it is a bubbly green pool that brings him back from any serious injury and is also the reason he is about 500 years old). Damien goes nuts and starts killing dudes left and right and gets mad when his mom doesn't want to dip her dead father into the pool.

Talia decides it is time for Batman to meet his psychotic child and arrives in Gotham acting all sexual towards Batman before showing him his creepy, new son. Immediately Batman should've been like “Get the fuck out of Gotham and take this obvious lunatic with you!” He doesn't though and Talia leaves him with Batman. Damien saunters around the Bat Cave like he owns the place and keeps pointing out that one day he will (which I laughed at because he totally doesn't...). Hell, even Alfred doesn't like him.

DVDiculous: Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher

I think its time for Marvel to finally just step down and allow DC Comics to produce their animated films for them because these things that come out are just terrible. Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher is like a lot of these straight to DVD movies by Marvel: they look incredible but once you get past that you're left with a weak ass story that makes Marvel writers come across as hyperactive teenagers that were given the reigns to make a movie.

What they do get right is the violence level used by Punisher. But after a few minutes of seeing him blow people apart you start to see why the films have done so badly. It becomes just a violent mess and pretty boring fast. They then introduce Black Widow who also does not have the strength to carry a film and now we have two messes. S.H.I.E.L.D then show up and ask Punisher to help them and blah blah blah more violence and characters I don't care about and a history between Black Widow and some lame ass guy who goes between being super fucking strong to being able to be hurt by Black Widow.

DVDiculous: Old Boy

It was hard to watch this Old Boy movie without comparing it to the original that came out eleven years ago. But I tried my best and gave it a shot. I just watched it as if Spike Lee made this original film that was nothing like any other he'd done before. I mean, I give Lee credit for stepping out. He has done a few films that if you didn't know it was him you'd think it was some new director. Films like The 25th Hour and Inside Man were incredible and unlike his other films except for that rolling camera thing he does. And yes he does it in this one and its silly.

And yes there will be spoilers. 

Josh Brolin's character is an asshole. Just totally unlikable until it gets to the point where I don't even want him to win. You know what? Fuck it. I'm comparing this to the old film. This movie holds your hand throughout it so much that I actually said “Get locked up already!” They show so much of him being a fuck up, bad businessman, bad father, alcoholic, and terrible human being that by the time he is taken and locked in that room for twenty years it seems better for society.

DVDiculous: Girls Against Boys

I was doing some clean up on my Facebook page and found this movie Girls Against Boys that my friend Miss J. posted over a year ago and the trailer for it seemed cool. So I decided to watch it tonight and boy was I disappointed. I mean...wow. This was really bad! No, not just because it stars two skinny dames. That's not it at all. The music, the acting, the story, it was all just ass. If they were trying to go for a comedy about how rapey men are then they may have hit their mark. But to take this as a drama(?) or horror(?) film, I just can't.

This is one of those films where you watch a character and go “Why are you doing that?! Stop! Oh, great. Now you're doing something even dumber!” Its about this college girl named Shae who has the worst luck ever. She gets dumped by her man who is separated but decides to stay with his wife and child. Then she ditches her friend to go to a party with this chick Lu and they go to a party and head home with these guys. Nope.

Eat that burger, damn it!

She heads home with this guy and does everything a sensible person, not just a woman, shouldn't do. He rapes her in her hallways and I'm like “Are there no other people living in this building?!” She goes to the guy who broke up with her and he's all “Bitch, you can't just show up at my home!” He takes her home, she makes out with him then changes her mind, the he tries to force himself on her until she screams for him to stop. Meanwhile Lu is shooting a cop in the asshole. That is not a typo.

DVDiculous: Justice League War

DC Comics keeps on knocking them out the park when it comes to their animated films. This Justice League War was so cool that to me there's no need to hurry up and make a live action film. Some of these are so damned cool that to me that if they were released in theaters I'd see them. The animation is super on point and even though the original Batman voice isn't used its still acceptable. This is based off of the DC 52 universe so don't be confused because Batman and Superman have never met.

In Gotham there have been random kidnappings and people think its a vigilante. Green Lantern shows up and saves this ungrateful woman from this monster when Batman shows up and makes Lantern look like a jackass. Lantern is super cocky and doesn't want to listen to anything. Batman shocks him by letting him know that he's just a regular human. They decide to head to see Superman and a fight ensues because Lantern doesn't want to listen to anything.

DVDiculous: Metallica Through The Never

I got to watch Through The Never and I feel like such an ass for not watching it when it was in theaters because this movie is massive. Its a concert film and a crazy ass chase film combined. It stars the band Metallica of course and Dane Dehaan who you may know from Lawless and Chronicle. He's a roadie that is given the task of taking fuel to a stalled truck that needs to be at the concert.

This film manages to mix the story perfectly with the music. If you are a fan of Metallica you'll be happy. If you like seeing riots, hangings, and massive explosions you'll also be happy. The roadie, Trip, gets into a car accident and the next thing you know a bunch of people are fighting with cops and then this big son of a bitch shows up on a horse and starts lynching folks. Meanwhile at the concert...

DVDiculous: Raging Phoenix

Thai movies that I watch tend to have the same theme: elbows, knees, and an ending that runs right off the rails. This stars the same chick, Jija Yanin, from Chocolate which if you haven't seen you really need to. This movie is about getting drunk and kicking ass while doing lots of flips. Yanin as Deu is a drummer in a band that is far too emotional and gets kicked out the group and cheated on by her boyfriend. She gets drunk, cries to her dead father, and ends up getting kidnapped. All kinds of crazy happens until she is saved by this guy, Sanim, from a group of lunatics with pogo legs.

She wakes up and is in a warehouse with these drunk dudes named Dog Shit and Pig Shit. They fend off a gang which is surprising because before they started dancing and kicking ass they seemed like total fuck ups. After being asked they teach her how to drink and Sanim, though he doesn't want to, teaches her how to fight. Meaning doing impossible stuff.

DVDiculous: GI Joe Retaliation

I decided to watch GI Joe: Retaliation because I don't even know. I have no real explanation as to why I decided to watch this. I saw the first one and it was quite terrible but I hoped that with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Channing Tatum who I now like in films (sometimes) this would be better. It wasn't. Its funny because I tend to like films where things explode but I tend to get upset when they try and have a plot that's complicated when it doesn't need to be.

On one side you have Roadblock and Duke, Johnson and Tatum, who are making explosions, running from explosions, and playing video games with explosions. Shit you not, they show them sitting at home paying videos games. Because I don't know about the rest of you, but when I think of a blockbuster film with action, I think of watching them play video games. Duke ends up getting killed in an explosion and I didn't care. Roadblock gets all revenge mode meaning doing shit that goes against everything he tells others.

DVDiculous: Superman Unbound

Today I found out that a Superman movie, Superman: Unbound, came out a few months ago and I'll be damned if it wasn't pretty good. Not as good as Superman Vs. The Elite but it was still good. There are a few things happening in this and it could have easily been spit into two films so it feels rushed at times. 

Lois Lane lets Clark Kent aka Superman know that she is tired of hiding their relationship from everyone but he feels that he has to to protect her. Each time they try and talk he has to rush off to save the world, city, or Lois which he brings up and is totally true. I mean, the film starts off with her being held hostage and Supergirl and Superman having to save her ass. 

DVDiculous: Odd Thomas

A few years back I was all about Dean Koontz’s series Odd Thomas about a kid that has the ability to see and interact with the dead. The series was good for about two books but with the departure of Elvis Presley, the introduction of people with special needs (which pops up quite a bit in Koontz books) and magical dogs (the second thing that always pops up in his books) I lost interest in the stories. I found out that a film had been completed which was weird because the last I heard it was in development hell and there were multiple fan films made.

Anton Yelchin who was recently in Star Trek Into Darkness stars as Odd Thomas. Like I said, he can see and communicate with the dead. It starts with a dead young girl walking up to him. He ends up using his psychic magnetism to find this guy driving and ends up chasing him down and brawling with him, knocking his ass out until the cops show up. Willem Dafoe plays police chief Wyatt Porter who knows of Odd’s powers and reluctantly uses his help in solving crimes.