Saturday, May 17, 2014

DVDiculous: JLA Adventures Trapped In Time

Time travel is always an iffy topic to base a story around. This movie JLA Adventures Trapped In Time proved it because even as I watched it happening I just kept thinking “See, now that they did this that is going to happen and now he doesn't exist because she saw this...” and then my head starts to spin and I don't care anymore. The Legion Of Doom have a plan to make more ice on Earth so when it melts coastlines will flood. This is Lex Luthor's plan and he is in full 1970's super villain mode because this is a stupid plan.

This Justice League show up and they end up fighting them on land and even in space. I was confused as to which Robin was teaming with Batman (whose voice is played by a different actor and he sounds Black) because he appeared to be a young Dick Grayson but acted like Jason Todd but was probably Tim Drake. Either way the JL win after Captain Cold is like “Fuck everything!” and blasts the planet with one super strong beam of ice. Luthor is believed to be dead and Superman pouts instead of being like “Good! Party at the Fortress of Solitude!” Meanwhile in the future...

Hundreds of years from now Luthor is frozen in ice at a museum as Karate Kid and Dawnstar talk about being heroes. Karate Kid wants to be promoted and is a dick. He accidentally cracks the ice Luthor is in and he gets free. Moments later he is able to shake off being frozen all this time, discover Superman's true identity from reading a plaque on a statue, steals a freeze gun, gets the Eternity Glass, and forces the Time Trapper to take him back to his original time. These kids follow him and silliness ensues.

After a bunch of misunderstandings that could have been solved if someone said “Calm your shit!” these kids work with the JL. Luthor's plan to go back in time and toss baby Superman back into space works and he disappears along with others members of the team. At this point I am completely loss. I can't even tell you how Superman managed to come back. But he is back and they manage to stop Time Trapper and everything is fine except when they go back to the future a Luthor statue is in place of the Superman one. They realize they fucked something up and happily say they will fix it. I would've freaked right the fuck out because they don't know what they even did wrong. This isn't baking a cake. You can't just go “Well, guess well try this instead...”

This is one of the weaker Justice League movies. It felt like a really long episode of a series I wouldn't really watch. I know that there are a shit ton of JL members in the future and Karate Kid and Dawnstar are probably two of the least interesting. The art was fine but the writing was rather bland. Everyone seemed to be dumbed down to make the kids seem stronger than they were. I don't need to see this ever again but if you wanna check it out it won't hurt you.

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