The Review: I Am Not Your Negro

I Am Not Your Negro 9/10

“This is not the land of the free, only very unwillingly and sporadically the land of the brave.” I decided to watch this tonight not knowing what it was about or anything. I am glad that I did. I did not feel that same sense of hopeless dread I did after watching 13th. I couldn't even rate that movie. This movie, to me, is about American history as much as it is about the history of Black people in America. James Baldwin even points out that his ancestors did not ask or want to come to this country. This is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. Don't let that turn you off if you are someone that doesn't enjoy him. He doesn't distract from this whatsoever.

Theater Whore: Cell

Cell 2/10

Though this is being labeled as a Theater Whore review its actually a The Review since I watched it On Demand. It will be in theaters next month though they could save a lot of money by not wasting their time doing so. Cell is based off of a Stephen King novel of the same name which also happens to be the last King book I have ever read. I liked the book but the last part of it was so bad that it made me hate that I even read it. So why did I decide to watch this movie? Because I needed something on while I ironed, that's why. This stars John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson as a father searching for his son in the chaos caused by everyone being on a cell phone going berserk.

Theater Whore: Kingsman The Secret Service

Kingsman The Secret Service 7/10

I got a chance to see Kingsman: The Secret Service and if I had known who directed it beforehand I would not have been surprised by how awesome the fight scenes would be as well as how violent. This is the story of a team that was formed to fight secret battles that threaten the world. After one mission in the Middle East an agent in training dies. Harry Hart played by Colin Firth heads to the home of the dead man and his wife wants none of his sympathy. He gives a medal to a young boy and tells him to call if he is ever in trouble.

Fast forward seventeen years to the boy, Gary “Eggsy” Unwin played by Taron Egerton, having to deal with his mother marrying an alcoholic abusive guy and totally ignoring her baby. Eggsy leaves the house and gets arrested after stealing a car from an asshat that threatens to beat him up.

Theater Whore: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Captain America: The Winter Soldier 9/10

After watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier I kept asking myself why this movie was so damned good. Out of all of the Marvel films the Cap ones have been the best. It could be the fact that there is no hype about who is directing it. Do you know who directed the first film? I didn't and never bothered to check until I was writing this. But with the films like Iron Man, X-Men, and The Avengers, who directed it has become such a big deal. But two brothers, Anthony Russo and Joe Russo, who have done nothing but TV shows and movies I've never seen managed to create what could be argued as one of the best action/adventure/comic book films ever.

Chris Evans returns as Captain America and is questioning many of the methods being used by SHIELD. His suspicions match up perfectly with what has been happening on Agents Of SHIELD which is pretty cool. By the way, if you gave up on that show the way I did a while back, the last seven episodes leading to the upcoming finally have been great. Cap is still looking at the world as if it is the 1940's and a simpler time while Nick Fury played by Samuel L. Jackson tries to let him know that the world is far more dangerous and different than he knows.

DVDiculous: Old Boy

It was hard to watch this Old Boy movie without comparing it to the original that came out eleven years ago. But I tried my best and gave it a shot. I just watched it as if Spike Lee made this original film that was nothing like any other he'd done before. I mean, I give Lee credit for stepping out. He has done a few films that if you didn't know it was him you'd think it was some new director. Films like The 25th Hour and Inside Man were incredible and unlike his other films except for that rolling camera thing he does. And yes he does it in this one and its silly.

And yes there will be spoilers. 

Josh Brolin's character is an asshole. Just totally unlikable until it gets to the point where I don't even want him to win. You know what? Fuck it. I'm comparing this to the old film. This movie holds your hand throughout it so much that I actually said “Get locked up already!” They show so much of him being a fuck up, bad businessman, bad father, alcoholic, and terrible human being that by the time he is taken and locked in that room for twenty years it seems better for society.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Samuel L. Jackson

"If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions." - Jules Winnfield Pulp Fiction

In this first installment of Bad Ass Mofo I would be ignorant, and probably hunted down, if I did not make Samuel L. Jackson the first entry. He is known by many names. Samuel L. Sam Jackson. Sometimes just Sam. Or as I like to call him The Man Who Freed The Goddamn Slaves!

                                            This is what it probably looked like.