The Review: Hardcore Henry

Hardcore Henry 7/10

Hardcore Henry is a super violent movie that is far more complex than I was giving it credit for. I remember seeing the trailer for this a while back and kind of forgot about it. The advertising was not that great and it looked like a fun movie but at the time one of the actors, Sharlto Copley, was on my shit list for a series of bad films he was in. This movie was like watching a live action first person video game which I don't mind since I watch so many games on Youtube. It took a moment for me to get used to the camera movement but it was not even close to as nauseating as something like Cloverfield.

Theater Whore: Free Fire

Free Fire 9/10

There will be some spoilers. The new movie Free Fire was what I wanted and more. I saw the trailer for this last year and wondered where the hell it went. Well, it came out today and I used an AMC gift card I got for my birthday last month to head on over to the Century City AMC. I had not seen a movie here in years and they have really improved it. In the trailer its just a warehouse full of people shooting at each other. Guess what? That is a large portion of this movie. Just a bunch of folks shooting at each other. After almost 25 minutes of trailers the movie started. I shit you not. There were that many trailers and I could probably tell you about two of the ones I saw.

The Review: The A Team (old review)

Okay, I did it. I finally saw the A-Team film. This was after weeks of saying fuck you to the director Joe Carnahan for even touching something that was so dear to me. I’m 31. I have sat by while watching my childhood memories be physically assaulted and stayed silent…kinda. If you listen to my podcast you know I’ve been bitching about remakes for quite some time (Transformers, the upcoming Smurfs).

To answer your question, yes, I was very drunk when I saw this film. Sorry. When I saw this movie. Rumble Fish, Apocalypse Now, and Goodfellas are films. This was a movie in every sense of the word. If you took your chick to see this she’d likely be very pissed because A Team is the definition of a guy flick. The credits don’t even end until almost twenty minutes into the damned thing!

The Review: Powers

Powers 1/10

I finally checked out the Playstation series Powers. I had written about it a couple of years ago (click here to read that) before I'd seen it. I said that I would give it a try and this morning I felt like punishing myself so I checked it out. It is far worse than I thought it was going to be. They couldn't get anything right except the fact that a camera was able to record people attempting to act. Three episodes in I had to tap out because I could not continue. There are some shows that have a slow start but get better. This one made me progressively annoyed.

"Set in a world where humans and superheroes (called "powers") co-exist, a former power now homicide detective, Christian Walker, had his own powers taken from him. Along with his partner Deena Pilgrim they work in a special homicide division called Powers, which investigates crimes involving superhumans."

You Had One Job: Powers Series On PS4

I tend to be far more harsh when it comes to a TV series or movie based off of comic books. The reason being there is usually years worth of information already in print and drawn for these “creators” and writers of the series to gather information for. It seems like it would be far easier to work with something when you already have a finished product in front of you. Just take what you see and do it using real people.

Of course I know that is not realistic and if you made things exactly like the comic book no one would take them close to serious (Sin City) or they would be broke after the first episode. So I slide towards the look. Wanting characters to at the very least look like they did in the comic books. But you couldn't even do that, could you Powers?

Theater Whore: Maleficent

Maleficent 7/10

I decided to check out Maleficent because it seemed like it would be an interesting movie. I wasn't really excited and am not the biggest fan of Sleeping Beauty, but because this was based upon a villain that tends to be loved by hot women I checked it out. Yeah. I'm that easy. I was surprised at how good this turned out to be. I mean, come on. Its Angelina Jolie looking better than she has in years. I forget that she is a good actress since I get caught up in her personal life. She hasn't done a film in almost five years so I had to watch this.

This movie pretty much proved to me that in a situation where there are humans and magical creatures that 9 times out of 10 the humans will just up and be dicks for close to no reason. In the woods there are creatures, monsters, and Maleficent living together all happy. She's young and one day some tree monsters catch some little boy named Stefan who was trying to steal something. They meet and over the years they fall in love with one another. After time passes he stops visiting, an army tries to invade, and she finds out that his punk ass is married now and has a kid on the way. Bad move.

DVDiculous: Old Boy

It was hard to watch this Old Boy movie without comparing it to the original that came out eleven years ago. But I tried my best and gave it a shot. I just watched it as if Spike Lee made this original film that was nothing like any other he'd done before. I mean, I give Lee credit for stepping out. He has done a few films that if you didn't know it was him you'd think it was some new director. Films like The 25th Hour and Inside Man were incredible and unlike his other films except for that rolling camera thing he does. And yes he does it in this one and its silly.

And yes there will be spoilers. 

Josh Brolin's character is an asshole. Just totally unlikable until it gets to the point where I don't even want him to win. You know what? Fuck it. I'm comparing this to the old film. This movie holds your hand throughout it so much that I actually said “Get locked up already!” They show so much of him being a fuck up, bad businessman, bad father, alcoholic, and terrible human being that by the time he is taken and locked in that room for twenty years it seems better for society.

Who Should Be Dr. Strange?

Word is going around that a Dr. Strange film is in the works. Of course more important than who is directing, writing, or producing it is who will be playing the lead character. Some are reporting that it may be John Hamm, which isn't the worst idea ever. It's fine. It's fine. He is funny, has a great personality, and most people man or woman wouldn't kick him out of bed. Another name being thrown around far more than I am comfortable with is Johnny Depp. This...I just can't handle seeing Depp playing Dr. Strange.

Nothing against Depp as a human, but I'm sick of him being weird. With all the stuff hes done with Tim Burton, all the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies, and that terrible Lone Ranger flick he just doesn't need to be attached to anything involving magic in any way. Years ago, because they have been talking about this film for decades now, I thought Robert Downey Jr. would be a good Dr. Strange. This was of course before he popped up in Iron Man where he was pretty damned good.

Theater Whore: Elysium

The year is 2154 and everyone...is covered in filth! I mean everyone on Earth. Up in space shit is immaculate. In space no matter what booty cootie you have there are machines that will heal it. Could you imagine the level of strange sex you'd have if you could get healed that same say? I am so off topic. I finally saw Elysium and after watching it I have decided that this would have played out much better as a series and not a film.

This movie is about a lot of things. Social classes, the haves and the barely haves, technology, and dirty folks. They aren't on the level of Dirt People but they are very close. Matt Damon is an ex con that is trying to live his filthy life and likes this chick that has a daughter that is dying. He doesn't know that though. I'm not even sure he knows she has a kid. He gets fucked up at work after already getting his arm broken by the robot cops earlier. He is told that he has five days to live. Oh, and he gets bionic implants. Yay?