"Bad Mamma Jamma": Angelina Jolie

“I love to put on lotion. Sometimes I'll watch TV and go into a lotion trance for an hour. I try to find brands that don't taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me.” Angelina Jolie

This weeks Bad Mamma Jamma and probably one of the few actresses I believe would be able to cause actual bodily harm to me is Angelina Jolie! I first got a gander at her in the movie Hackers which was a cool movie but whatever did you see the lips on this girl and the ass because I sure as hell did and I keep wishing that one day she is gonna gain 30 pounds and cut her hair and look like that again! Phew. Jolie is like Milla Jovovich is Milla made better acting choices every once in a while. Jolie got a lot of attention (in film) from her role in Girl, Interrupted. Oh, and that movie Gia that for whatever reason I cant sit through even though she shows all the goods in it. There's also a young Mila Kunis as well and if that gets you excited Chris Hanson will be paying you a visit shortly.

She is probably one of the BMJ’s that looks really good in bad movies that make a lot of money because of her name alone. In Mr. & Mrs. Smith she played a normal woman (ha!) who was actually a trained assassin (that’s more like it). She also met her future husband Brad Pitt while filming which was fine with me because he was dating Jennifer Aniston at the time and fuck that woman. And she wore outfits like this one. You can watch the film in fast forward and just pause it when you see flesh. She didn't let the terrible ass movie Alexander ruin her career. There are people that were in that film that have yet to even begin to recover from it and that was eight years ago. We won't mention Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow because we lie to pretend that movie didn't happen. But she was hot in it. And if I talk shit about it she will pop out of my mirror and punch me in the taint.

Speaking of bad movie she starred in Tomb Raider which I saw in theaters and was very upset. But it was nice to see her running around in small shorts. That ruled. I know it sounds like I’m knocking her but she has starred in some films that were pretty damn good…to me. Like Gone In 60 Seconds and Salt. She was in that damned movie Wanted which till this day makes me cringe but it gained a lot of popularity because she showed her butt booty ass on screen. I haven’t even touched on the stuff she did in real life that qualifies her as a BMJ like writing her husbands name in blood on her shirt for their wedding, wearing another ones in a vial, or going around the world adopting children in what will surely be the most terrifying army ever created.