Saturday, August 13, 2011

FAP FILES: Mila Kunis

This is Mila Kunis. She is hot. Who would have thought that the dumb chick from That 70’s Show would be the break out star? Yeah,  some say Ashton Kutcher is and I call those people stutarded. Mila breaks all kinds of Spank Bank laws of mine. She is skinny for one. I tend to like women that surpass the 150lb. mark. I don’t even like lesbian scenes in films but when I heard “There’s a scene with her and Natalie Portman…” my zipper parted like the Red Sea.

In Forgetting Sarah Marshall there is a scene where she is topless but its not her real boobs. Ask me if I cared? Ask me! I don’t care if she doesn’t do nude scenes. Olivia Wilde does not get that free pass because she looks like an alien to me. I know she is supposed to go to a dinner date with a Marine just because he asked. Really? Its that easy? What sucks is that I have to apply the HBT (Halle Barry Theory) to her. She dated McCauley Culkin for years. Something ain’t right.

Look at that face! You know what that face is thinking? “I’m gonna break your dick off. Don’t think because I’m 3 feet tall that I cant. Seriously. Can you imagine the things I can do to you? I don’t even have to touch you. Just by looking into my eyes you just got pregnant. Can you feel it kicking? That’s not IBS. You’ve just been Mila’d!

No comments: