Friday, August 26, 2011

Gossip & Shit August 26th 2011

Halle Berry and her ex husband Gabriel Aubry are fighting over their 3 year old daughter. “I have a child and look like this” she may have said to the judge. If she didn’t she should’ve.

Lindsay Lohan is not accepting Pitbull’s apology for making fun of her in a song. Just wait a few weeks, Pitbull. She’ll be in jail for something soon enough.

Denise Richards, in line with a string of other bad decisions, is moving near Charlie Sheen. “I give up…God said.

Alec Baldwin is dating a 27 year old yoga instructor. Looks like she is wearing a Promise Ring. As in “I will promise to bang you three weeks out of the month.” At least that’s how I read into it.

Rapper DMX was arrested again. Ever see his mug shots? Its like Face Of Meth.

Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter have split. “Whatevs…” Jeter said as he called

Kris Jenner, the host of the magical vagina that spawned Kim Kardashian, is going to host The Talk. “The fuck is The Talk?” I said moments before writing this.

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield may be dating. Apparently my Spank Bank is in a recession.

Rihanna is doing nothing but hanging at beaches and looking surly. Guess its better than her being in a recording studio. Or near Chris Brown. “Fuck you” Brown would say to me if he knew I existed.

Taylor Swift keeps taking pictures. Stop that.

Madonna’s 15 year old daughter Lourdes does not look 15! Madonna’s boyfriend who is 24 does.

Jaime Pressley will not be going to jail for her DUI. “Damn!” her possible cellmate Terry shouted.

Jennifer Garner was seen leaving with her kid from karate class. “Don’t do what mommy did in Elektra” she was heard whispering.

And for no reason Anna Paquin!

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