Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries got married yesterday in Montecito, CA today. I don’t really care. I just like to say “Montecito.” Sounds like a delicious snack.
Buzz Aldrin is getting divorced from his third wife. She looks like a bad Paula Dean which is sad because the actual Paula Dean looks like a bad Paula Dean.
Lindsay Lohan was at the Kardashian wedding and didn’t make a fool of herself. “This is some old bullshit!” Addiction was heard shouting.
Prince Williams and Kate Middleton have dolls now. His looks terribly creepy. It has total “I own a white van” smile.
Charlie Sheen and his ex wife Brooke Mueller have been traveling together. Maybe she is immune to whatever magical STD’s he has.
Michael C. Hall who plays Dexter on, uh, Dexter, is dating a 25 year old Showtime employee. Hopefully she doesn’t look like a praying mantis like his other two wives.
Former president Bill Clinton recently celebrated his 65th birthday. In his honor cigars were placed in very inappropriate places.
Former Charles In Charge and Baywatch chick Nicole Eggert had another child. I would post a recent picture of her but I wouldn’t want your jaw to break your keyboard.
Bristol Palin got a new tattoo. Scandalous! But not really. She’s also dating the chubby little Black kid from That’s So Raven.
I don’t know who Freida Pinto is but I should. Grr…
Tara Reid is on the UK’s Big Brother. Uh, didn’t she just get married?
I saw a picture of Reese Witherspoon and my spoon didn’t wither. I still don’t know how I feel about this bizarre turn of events.
And for no reason Raven Symone!
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