DVDiculous: A Serbian Film

There are some films that fuck you up mentally. Like, after you watched them you cant stay warm, food doesn’t taste as good, and you have a hard time looking in the mirror. A Serbian Film is that kinda film. I was told that it was supposed to be extreme and hardcore to which I said “Ha! I am the definition of hardcore! Wanna see my comic book collection?!”

I was so wrong.

Now I know when I tell people not to watch something, they are compelled to. I have no idea how many friends have now seen 2 Girl 1 Cup, 1 Priest 1 Nun, and 1 Guy 1 Jar because of me. But seriously, please don’t see this movie. Because if you watch it and say that it was great I might not be able to talk to you anymore.

The movie starts off with a porno being played. Its very cheesy and you see that it’s a little boy watching it. His parents walk in and stop it. The guy in the porno Milos, is the kids dad and mom has to explain that he and a girl friend were just playing. The kids like “It made my pants feel funny.”

"What's the worst that could happen?"

Milos friend says that some guy is willing to pay him a ridiculous sum of money to star in a film. Milos meets up with the guy, Vukmir, who tells him that there is no script and that what he is doing has never been done. After talking it over with his wife, who is very open about it, Milos decides to start filming. After leaving the meeting he passes by this old guy and his guards. More on them later.

Milos starts the day being picked up in a car by this weird dude with shades and a tattoo on his neck of actual film. He is filmed walking into an orphanage where this young girl is being yelled at by her mom while a sexy nurse meets Milos. She gives his wang some mouthasizing while footage of the young girl plays on screens.

Later he does a scene where a woman that is being beaten ends up giving him some oral and starts biting his junk. He tries to get away and a guard grabs him fro behind and forces hi to beat her. He finishes on her face (they show it!) and he punches the guard before saying he is done and not continuing. Milo calls his scumbag cop brother later to have him look up who Vukmir is. Turns out he is a psychologist and works for the country.

"I can't go when you watch...kidding!"

Later after deciding that he is really done Vukmir plays Milos a video he has taped. In it a pregnant woman is giving birth and the guy with the film tattoo helps her pull the baby out. Milos is staring at the screen horrified as the guy them rapes the baby. Yes. That fucking happened. Vukmir says that it’s a new genre called “newborn porn.”

Now, you may be asking yourselves “Dante, why didn’t you tap out at this point?” to which I’ll respond “Mommy!!!” Later on Milos wakes up and is covered in blood and doesn’t know why. He has to backtrack what the hell has happened to him. He finds the place where filming took place and starts to have insane flashbacks of the things he did.

It's all downhill from here.

They show him pissing blood, killing someone, and his wife covered in blood screaming for him to stay away. Oh, and his female friend that introduced him to the director totally has all her teeth pulled out with pliers and forced to give oral sex with her nose pinched until she dies. Milos remembers that he did a lot of fucked up things.

Turns out that he was given something the sexy nurse had worked on that was pretty much “Viagra for bulls.” Even when he doesn’t want to fuck he wants to fuck. He fucks a woman and chops her head off. He finds tapes of what was filmed and he watches dead eyed as he is raped by that guard he punched earlier.

Rape Face. Seriously.

He is taken to that young girl from earlier to rape her at the asking of her grandmother for the film. He dives out of the window and is found later after being beaten by thugs while waiting for his brother to help him. He is picked up by film tattoo guy who kills the attackers. It gets confusing here because of all the flashbacks.

"Don't I know you...?"

He sticks the needle full of super mega horndog juice in the nurses neck. He is then taken to a warehouse where a person is waiting for him to fuck. Which he does like crazy. He then moves on to the other body until a masked man joins him. Vukmir removes the guys mask and its his cop brother. Then he removes the sheet from the first body he was fucking.

Its his wife.

Then he removes the blanket from who Milos is currently fucking.

Its his son.

That’s right. He is fucking his own child while his brother fucks his wife. His son has foam coming from his mouth. Milos loses his shit and bashes Vukmir’s head into the ground killing him. He then shoots two guards to death and skull fucks another, film tattoo guy, in his empty sewn up eye socket! He knocks out his wife, with a punch, and take his family home.

Everyone is traumatized at this point. No one is talking. The son just stares off into the distance. Milos walks around with a gun to kill himself with. Which I totally agree with. There’s no living after this. They all sleep together laying awake staring off. Then one day his wife looks at him and smiles. They climb into bed together and he fires a single shot that kills all three of them. The end.

But not.

Because that old man I mentioned in the beginning and his two guards are there with cameras while one of the guards is unzipping his pants looking at the three corpses. The old guy says “Start with the little one” and then the movie ends.

I have seen some fucked up movies (Old Boys, Sympathy For Mr./Lady Vengeance, Irreversible). And I have seen some that were supposed to be fucked up (Hostel, Human Centipede, Saw). This film is fucked up beyond repair. I don’t know who it is for honestly. If you get off on woman rape, man rape, kid rape, dead body rape, hints of bestiality, then knock yourself out. For real. Kill yourself because you are a broken toy that no one should play with.