Babbling Old Man: Flashdance

If you’re a young woman trying to make it in the world all you need to do is follow your dreams, work hard, and push yourself past your limits. Or know a rich dude that has connections. Whomp. I watched Flashdance for the first time last night. Yeah, so soon, right? There are a lot of old films I haven’t seen. Usually the ones that were popular. So excuse me if my youth was spent watching Petey Wheatstraw instead of half naked broads on stage.

Reason #34 I make no damn sense.

So the movie stars Jennifer Beals as Alex. She’s 18 and has a sense of entitlement that hasn’t been seen this last week when I heard a teenager talking on the bus. She works in a steel mill by day and dances by night while wanting to join a prestigious ballet company. By the way I think this alleged steel mill creates sparks mostly. And smoke.

This is why your husband comes home wet.

Her boss finds out that she works for him while going out to see some chicks shake it at the club called Mawby’s. What a terrible name for a club. Anyway, he immediately starts hitting on her. She keeps saying that she doesn’t want to date her boss.

She keeps saying no but it’s the 80’s and sexual harassment was treated like foreplay in films so they start dating. They have a bunch of other supporting characters that aren’t that interesting and have full on back stories but whatever. I was laughing at the body doubles used in this picture. Two chicks and a dude. Yes, that fancy backspin that happens was a guy.

Alex heads to the dance company and is too chicken to apply for real. Later she finds out that her new boyfriend is still seeing his ex wife. Well, she sees them at a dance and ends up break his damned window! After some forgiveness and hand jobs with feet (that happens!) they are happy again. Until…

She finds out that he got her a chance to perform for the judges at the dance place. She gets ad and jumps from his car. This old lady that Alex was friends with dies, her friend fails at skating, there’s just so much shit happening to this girl I was waiting for her dog to die!

Fap.

She gets to the recital and sucks. But then she starts again and breakdances and does dives and all kinda crazy stuff. Everything works out well in the end because this was filmed in 1983. I liked the film but it was nothing like I was expecting. I thought the movie was about a chick that just danced a lot. I didn’t know there was so much ass and tits on screen. When it said Rated R I was like “How come you R?!”

This why you R!