FAP FILES: Commercial Chicks

For those of you with the benefit of cable television you don’t really have to suffer through commercials every three minutes while watching a show. I don’t have cable so when I do happen to watch TV and get bombarded with ads. But then I try to find the silver lining which is the hope that a cute ass chick will pop up every once in a while. I have found the names of three such chicks.

Vanessa Branch aka Orbit Gum Girl.

This chick has been around for a while in the Orbit commercials. I thought she was okay looking. I mean, yes, she is hot and has the whole accent thing working for her. But I didn’t think there was anything special about her. That is until I Goggled her name and this picture popped up…amongst other things. Don’t judge me. This chick is the only reason I chew Orbit because that shit is too strong and makes my teeth hurt. So why do I chew it still? Because a hot chick told me to.

Bre Joyner aka Cute Chick In York Peppermint Patty Commercial.

I tried finding this chick a couple years back or so when I saw her in the York Peppermint Patty commercial. She doesn’t say a damned thing like the rest of the commercials but oh my god she looks so damned cute! And I want to play in her hair like you don’t even know. She has done some other roles and blah blah blah she’s cute. There’s some pictures of her in a bikini that made my pants tight which is always a good sign. She looks really…smart.

Bianca Degroat aka The Cute Proposal Chick In Chevy Cruze Eco Commercial.

I saw this commercial a few weeks back and said “Why is she with that doofus?” and then “I wonder what she looks like half naked?” Sadly, I could find no images of her even close to undressed but that’s fine because honestly she looks too nice. I cant explain it but sometimes a chick can look too sweet for me to want to do things to their faces. In which case I turn bitter and talk behind their backs. I’ve never been accused of being mature, folks.