Halle Berry’s ex has agreed to go to anger management classes after attacking a nanny. I say lock him in a room playing Catwoman and her performances as Storm in the X-Men films as punishment. He wouldn’t raise his hands to answer a question after that!
Nick Stahl of Terminator 3 was arrested for not being able to pay cab fair. He then posted $500 bail which was a little over five times the amount he owed the cabbie. How is he broke?!
Puff Daddy Sean Diddy Combs P. is throwing a party where the cost is reportedly five figures. Oh, and you have fifteen (15!!!) girls to take care of you. Each. Let me do the math. If there are ten guys and the have fifteen girls each that’s like…a lot of STD’s!
Singer (nope) Rihanna got "Thug Life" tattooed on her knuckles. That fucking happened!
Miley Cyrus had a giant dick shaped cake for her birthday. Giant black dick. How old is this broad anyway? What’s that? Bullshit. 19?! Sweet Jay-zus. (tosses salvia in trash)
Michael Lohan is back in the hospital for chest pains. Only a good film from his daughter will save him.
Kim Kardashian had to call the cops when some dude showed up at her place and said that he was staying with her. He was arrested by police. No word yet on when Kris Humphries will be bailed. I’m kidding. It wasn’t her husband of 72 days. But it totally could’ve been.
Flavor Flav’s daughter whose name sounds like something Snoop Dogg would make up, Dazayna, was arrested after a fight with her stepbrother. She’s 19. I knew Flav was old, but damn. My spell check hated this entire paragraph by the way.
Tim Gunn hasn’t had sex in 29 years. Join the club.
Co murderer of Michael Jackson, Conrad Murray, wants to get out of jail. Nope.
Lindsay Lohan is being sued for hitting a nanny pushing a stroller back in 2010. Goddamn. Who knew it was this damned dangerous to be a nanny?!
Demi Moore was rushed to the hospital this week after inhaling Whip Its. That happened. In 2012. Yeah.
And for no reason Deborah Harry!
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