The Review: The Place Beyond The Pines

The Place Beyond The Pines 10/10

There will be spoilers for this years old movie. I loved The Place Beyond The Pines. I don't know why I didn't check it out sooner. It stars Ryan Gosling who is bae. Eva Mendes who is co-bae. Seriously. This has just been sitting in my Netflix cue and I have been thinking of deleting it for no reason. Thank god I didn't because all I thought this was about was Gosling riding a motorcycle and doing crime with Mendes as his partner and Bradley Cooper hunting them down like some bootleg Bonnie & Clyde. I was super wrong. Gosling is Luke Glanton. He is a motorcycle stuntman that just breezes through towns. One day he is found by a girl he slept with, Romina Gutierrez played by Mendes. He drops her off at home and that is that. He ends up finding out that she had a baby and he is the father. He is upset that she was going to let him leave town not knowing that he had a son.

Theater Whore: Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 2

Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 2 – 10/10

There will be spoilers! This movie is awesome! Miss Jackie and I headed to the Arclight over in Hollywood after some damn good food at Plan Check and checked out Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 2. I have not laughed or tried not to cackle so much while watching a movie outside my house in a long ass time. This movie takes place a few months after the first one and it feels like it. The team isn't this well oiled machine that can do no wrong. It starts off with a massive battle with the team versus a creature that is arriving to devour a battery. During this time Baby Groot is making everyone laugh in the theater and Gamora and Quill are arguing. Drax is acting like a lunatic diving into the monsters mouth. They were hired by a race called the Sovereign who will give them Nebula in return. This all happens in the beginning of the movie along with a flashback showing Peter Quill's/Star Lord's dad with his mom before she passed away.

The Review: The A Team (old review)

Okay, I did it. I finally saw the A-Team film. This was after weeks of saying fuck you to the director Joe Carnahan for even touching something that was so dear to me. I’m 31. I have sat by while watching my childhood memories be physically assaulted and stayed silent…kinda. If you listen to my podcast you know I’ve been bitching about remakes for quite some time (Transformers, the upcoming Smurfs).

To answer your question, yes, I was very drunk when I saw this film. Sorry. When I saw this movie. Rumble Fish, Apocalypse Now, and Goodfellas are films. This was a movie in every sense of the word. If you took your chick to see this she’d likely be very pissed because A Team is the definition of a guy flick. The credits don’t even end until almost twenty minutes into the damned thing!

Theater Whore: Serena

Serena 0/10

Did you know that two of the hottest stars in Hollywood have a new movie out? Normally when two Academy Award winners who have both recently been in high grossing films are working together in a new film that have worked in a previous film together that people loved (but I hated Silver Linings Playbook) you can't stop seeing them all over TV doing interviews. But not with this film, Serena. You will not see a commercial or anything even though it comes out today. Why? Because it is fucking terrible.

This is based off of an incredible book with the same title written by Ron Rash that came out back in 2008. It is about a newlywed couple that works in the lumber industry in the 1930's. I know. Sounds boring. But I assure you that it is a great book. How come? Incredible characters! The movie? No. Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence manage to have less chemistry than a school in Los Angeles. Every scene in this is rough to watch.

Theater Whore: Guardians Of The Galaxy

Guardians Of The Galaxy 10/10

How did this happen?! I remember when I heard they were making a Guardians Of The Galaxy movie and I laughed. I thought that Marvel was scraping the bottom of the barrel with their movies. How could they possibly make a movie where the only character I know even vaguely is Rocket Raccoon and have it make any money or anyone give a damn? Turns out that not only did they make an incredibly entertaining movie, they made the best Marvel film to date. This was hands down better than any superhero team that has ever been made. I know that I'm talking it up pretty big but that's because its true.

This will contain some spoilers.

Theater Whore: American Hustle

American Hustle - 8/10

There were quite a few reasons why I didn't want to see American Hustle. I'm not a big fan of Bradley Cooper. Or Jennifer Lawrence. They were in Silver Linings Playbook which is one of the shittiest films I've seen in the last few years that was given quite a bit of acclaim. Amy Adams I am starting to appreciate for her great acting (she was in Her which we saw the same night as this movie). And of course Christian Bale is great...except in Out Of The Furnace which I saw a couple of days ago. But it was playing at the same theater as the first movie we saw and if you have ever been to Century City Mall then you know that once you are inside you are stuck there for a while.

The film takes place in 1978 and is sorta kinda based on things that really happened. Irving Rosenfield (Bale) is a swindler but low level. He is good at what he does and isn't trying to take things to a huge level. He's just doing his thing. The start of the movie shows his routine to master the terrible comb-over he sports. Its just...bad. At a party he meets with Sydney Prosser (Adams) and he falls in love with her immediately. Then he almost scares her off when he talks about his business. She comes back and they work great together.

Theater Whore: Silver Linings Playbook

What do you get when you combine Bradley Cooper who I’m not a fan of, Jennifer Lawrence who is dead behind her eyes, Robert Di Niro who hasn’t made a good film in years, and grab Chris Tucker from under whatever rock he’s been hiding under and mix them together for a film? An okay movie. Silver Linings Playbook is a movie I waited to see not just because I didn’t really want to see it, but because its been so raved about there’s no way it could live up to the hype. I went into this calm and open minded which you all know is hard for me to do. I’m judgmental as hell.

Cooper gets let out of treatment for bipolar disorder after being there for eight months by his mom. He’s supposed to be there later but she checks him out because she thinks he’s been there long enough. A guy he meets there played by Tucker tries to come along but it turns out he wasn’t allowed to leave just yet. He gets home and everyone comments on how much weight he has lost and upon meeting his dad sees all of his OCD behavior involving Eagles football.

Cooper is supposed to stay away from his “wife” and take his medication which he doesn’t believe he needs and that his wife will take him back once she sees how better he is. He goes to therapy finally and loses his shit when he hears “My Cherie Amour” by Stevie Wonder. The song is a trigger since he caught his wife banging a co-worker in the shower and he beat the hell out of the guy. He continues to say he doesn’t need medication and thinks that he is better and can control himself. He does a lot of self affirmation and honesty with people where he comes across like a dick.