Theater Whore: Sicario

Sicario 2/10

Sicario is one of those movies that I know I should like but for whatever reason does not work for me. It has good actors like Benicio Del Toro, Josh Brolin, and Emily Blunt aka Lady Punching Bag. Its about a SWAT member being recruited to help dirty people stop other dirty people by being dirtier than the people they are hunting. It starts off hard and fast then drops to a very slow crawl until the very end of what felt like a three hour movie. I could have left, played some video games, had a quick lunch, came back, and still not have missed any information that was important to the story. After watching this I read reviews and people love this movie. Every year there is a movie people love that I don't get at all. This is that movie for 2015.

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Theater Whore: Guardians Of The Galaxy

Guardians Of The Galaxy 10/10

How did this happen?! I remember when I heard they were making a Guardians Of The Galaxy movie and I laughed. I thought that Marvel was scraping the bottom of the barrel with their movies. How could they possibly make a movie where the only character I know even vaguely is Rocket Raccoon and have it make any money or anyone give a damn? Turns out that not only did they make an incredibly entertaining movie, they made the best Marvel film to date. This was hands down better than any superhero team that has ever been made. I know that I'm talking it up pretty big but that's because its true.

This will contain some spoilers.

Theater Whore: Savages

Full disclosure. The first thing I said after this movie was done was “What a waste of time that was.” I wanted to see this based purely off of the poster. Yes, I know that’s silly but I love the way those skeleton masks looked. Savages was the first Oliver Stone film I’ve wanted to see in years so I said fuck logic and watched it. I wish I hadn’t because I can not get those two hours back. Yes. This was two hours long. About fifteen minutes of it was supposedly cool looking shots that Tony Scott would be proud of and lens flare that JJ Abrams dreams of.

Chon is played by Taylor Kitsch (John Carter, Battleship) who is a war vet and his best friend is Ben played by Aaron Johnson (Kick Ass) is a smart pot grower. That’s it. There’s really nothing deeper to these two. And Blake Lively as Ophelia is their girlfriend/fuck pillow. Seriously, this chick bring nothing to the story but a hole for these guys to stick their junk in and motivation for murder because apparently there is some shortage of dumb White chicks that I’m unaware of.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Benicio Del Toro

“Why? Everyone says, ‘Why isn’t he married?’ But it’s like, Fuck! Why do I have to get married? Just so I can get divorced?” Benicio Del Toro

One of the most stand out actors to come along in years along with being someone that men find creepy and love and who women find sexy and love, Benicio Del Toro is this weeks Bad Ass Mofo. Not just because of his strange ass roles in Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas, Snatch, or even in Wolfman where he didn‘t even have to wear makeup. But because he has hair that just won’t quit! Its like his costar in every film he’s ever made.