Full disclosure. The first thing I said after this movie was done was “What a waste of time that was.” I wanted to see this based purely off of the poster. Yes, I know that’s silly but I love the way those skeleton masks looked. Savages was the first Oliver Stone film I’ve wanted to see in years so I said fuck logic and watched it. I wish I hadn’t because I can not get those two hours back. Yes. This was two hours long. About fifteen minutes of it was supposedly cool looking shots that Tony Scott would be proud of and lens flare that JJ Abrams dreams of.
Chon is played by Taylor Kitsch (John Carter, Battleship) who is a war vet and his best friend is Ben played by Aaron Johnson (Kick Ass) is a smart pot grower. That’s it. There’s really nothing deeper to these two. And Blake Lively as Ophelia is their girlfriend/fuck pillow. Seriously, this chick bring nothing to the story but a hole for these guys to stick their junk in and motivation for murder because apparently there is some shortage of dumb White chicks that I’m unaware of.
Ophelia gets kidnapped by Benicio Del Toro who works for Salma Hayek as drug dealers who want to get a slice of the drug action. They send videos of people getting their heads cut off and have their girl tied up. They set up a convoluted ass deal and give them 300 pounds of weed. John Travolta is a crooked DEA agent and he tells the boys to hook up with the cartel. They decide to do a double cross that involves snipers and bombs and Ben vomiting like a bitch after seeing a guy die.
I was gonna finish writing this but I just don’t care. This movie was too long, boring, and uninteresting. The ending pissed me off. Both of them. Yes, they have an ending that sucks and rewind, I shit you not they rewind, and have another ending that is even shittier than the first one! I was upset this debuted low until seeing it. Don’t even bother renting this. It sucks the ass.
2 comments:
I know right. What the fuck! It took for freaking ever for her to get kidnapped then when she got kidnapped I kept waiting for the part where they go in guns blazing to get her but it never happens. I should have known it was going to suck. They manage to position sharp shooters all around their meeting with the big bad drug cartel but they don't use them, seriously?
I was telling someone that a girl would have to have a magical vagina for me to openly share her with another dude. A woman like Selma Hayek who was the damned villain!
These goobers did the opposite of go in guns blazing. They shot from distances and when they did get close it got messy and they got shot of puked from seeing blood. The only thing they did properly was kidnap a girl.
And isn't it amazing a drug cartel can be taken down with one bit of false information and two stoners? In less than a week no less.
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