"Bad Ass Mofo": Jet Li

Every time there is a martial artist that is Asian and makes it big in America everyone keeps on trying to compare them to Bruce Lee. The problem is that you cant compare him to someone like this weeks Bad Ass Mofo because he is too damned awesome to describe. Of course I am talking about Jet Li!

Inappropriate!

Li started doing shit that would make me pass out from exhaustion when he was 8 years old and has continued since. Now, I started off watching his American films like Romeo Must Die which if you've seen recently makes you kinda cringe because he was like in his 30's and hooking up with this teenager. If I were her dad I would have wanted his ass killed too! Sure, I would have been beaten so bad that they wouldn't have been able to identify me except by fingerprinting but still. He was way too old for Aaliyah.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Kevin Durand

Damn those Canadians. They always end up coming here and looking hotter than us, more talented, and the worst part is that they look just like us. This weeks Bad Ass Mofo is a guy that I actually used to confuse with the previous one, Karl Urban. I've seen this guy in plenty of movies where sometimes he is the most memorable part. I actually go “Cool!” when he pops up in some movies because it means that at least I'm about to see some violence occur. This weeks BAM is the one and only Kevin Durand!

The earliest film I can recall seeing him in was Walking Tall where of course he plays a bad guy. Next up for me was Smokin' Aces where he plays one of the Tremor Brothers. As soon as I saw that movie I thought that they should have their own film. One of the brothers is Star Treks Chris Pine. Durand was also in The Butterfly Effect and Big Mama's House 2 which proves that not everyone is perfect.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Karl Urban

Its been quite a while since I have done one of these. There are two reasons. One, Photobucket is now a pack of bullshit and they completely redid their site so that I couldn't edit pictures the way I wanted. I know it sounds small but I try to keep some form of consistency. Second, it is getting harder to find guys that qualify, to me, as a Bad Ass Mofo. This guy is not only qualified but he may actually be overqualified as being a BAM. I present to you Karl Urban!

"Hi."

Born in New Zealand Urban got his start at the age of 8 and later as a teen. I had seen this guy in films and had no idea that it was the same person. Apparently I had forgotten that he was on Xena: Warrior Princess with Bad Mamma Jamma Lucy Lawless. He was in Lord Of The Rings and I thought “This guy is intense!” and figured he was just some guy that would be the background dude but not get a real role in films. Thankfully, I was wrong.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Forest Whitaker

I’m not sure why I never wrote about this guy. This guy has played everything from sympathetic guys, guys you felt bad for, and even hardasses that made you nervous as hell. Forest Whitaker is this weeks Bad Ass Mofo! Born in Longview, Texas he and his family said “Fuck this place!” and moved to Los Angeles when he was 4 years old. He is an accomplished actor, producer and director. Did you know that he directed Waiting To Exhale? Well, he did.

His first movie (that counts) was Fast Times At Ridgemont High as a beast of a football player. He was almost not cast because he looked too nice and the director didn’t think he could pull off angry. He went on to be in films like Platoon, The Crying Game, Jason’s Lyric, Phone Booth, and Ghost Dog: The Way Of The Samurai. Now, with this film I was offered a free screening and turned it down because seeing Whitaker with a samurai sword in New York didn’t appeal to me. Fast forward to it being the first film I ever bought on DVD.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Bill Paxton

The fact that I’ve done as many of these and have not mention Bill Paxton is a travesty. This guy has done roles that either made me laugh, cringe, or laugh at him. He can go from being a sleaze ball like in True Lies or the world’s most terrifying father in the thriller Frailty. I present to you this weeks Bad Ass Mofo!

"Don't worry, boy. Everything is gonna be just fine..."

Born in Fort Worth, Texas, Paxton managed to escape the second scariest state in the country and become a star. He has been in blockbuster films like Titanic, Apollo 13, and Terminator. If you don’t remember him in that look him up. It was during the 80’s when he seemed like he had lost his damned mind. Don’t believe me, check him out in Near Dark with equally insane previous BAM Lance Henrikson and Bad Mamma Jamma Jenette Golstein. He was the battiest damned vampire ever.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Clifton Collins Jr.

This weeks Bad Ass Mofo is one of those actors that you’ve seen dozens of times and probably didn’t know it was the same guy. He can go from doing the most dramatic movie to popping up and making you go “Wait, what the hell?” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Clifton Collins Jr.!

Born in Los Angeles, CA (whoop whoop!) he is the descendant of actor Pedro Gonzalez-Gonzalez. Like his grandson even if you don’t know his name you know his face. Clifton has appeared in films that I saw years ago and didn’t even realize it was him like Stoned Age, Menace II Society, Poetic Justice, Dead Presidents, The Replacement Killers, Tigerland, Traffic, Rules Of Attraction…want me to keep going? The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit, Crank: High Voltage, and Star Trek a few years ago. This guy keeps busy!

"Bad Ass Mofo": Cliff Curtis

Actor Cliff Curtis was born Clifford Vivian Devon Curtis in New Zealand. I dare you to make fun of the fact that Vivian is one of his middle names. Go ahead. Oh, I didn’t tell you that he was of Māori descent? If you don’t know what that is, its pretty much our version of Samoans. You never fuck with Samoans. Māori are like Samoans times four. So don’t make fun of his name. Cliff Curtis is this weeks Bad Ass Mofo.

The first time I ever saw him I thought he looked interesting but thought he was some form of Middle Eastern. Turns out I was wrong and that he plays almost every other race in films. Iraqi, Russian, Columbian, and Latino. And this guy pulls it off every single fucking time!

"Bad Ass Mofo": Bill Duke

This weeks Bad Ass Mofo is someone I actually saw in person when I went to a job interview back when 97.1 was, like, a thing. And I shit you not, this dude is intimidating. Sure he may be damn near 70 years old but I dare you to try and trash talk this guy. Duke is a cool ass actor, director, and writer. I usually cant remember his name but I always know his face. And it always looks the same.

I dare you to tell him he's doing it wrong.

Some people know him from Car Wash, some from Action Jackson. Me, I know him and will always remember him from Predator. Hell, you can only imagine how many people, particularly dumb ass men, that tried shaving their faces with a dry ass razor. And before you ask, yes, I was one of them. Before he gets killed--fuck you! This movie came out when my old ass was a child! I don’t need to put a spoiler alert! As I was saying, he gets killed but he loses his shit beforehand and swears to cut his dead friends names into the alien. I believed him.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Idris Elba

This weeks Bad Ass Mofo is one of those actors that come along once in a while that every man wants to be. He may be the nicest man alive in reality but in movies and TV shows he is a damned beast! I was watching the second season of Luther and I forgot what it was like to wait for him to lose his shit. He was born Idrissa Akuna Elba and an only child but still managed to turn out awesome. He’s did everything from tire fitting to working as a DJ, which he still does. Born in Hackney, London, England, you wouldn’t know it from some of his roles like that of Stringer Bell on The Wire.

Someone's about to get extra body holes.

It would be really easy to hate a guy that is talented, handsome, and funny. Yeah, we all want it and hate when others have it. But he seems like such a cool guy you cant hate him. I had no idea but he was this one dude I remember from an episode of Ab-Fab where during an orgy he sprayed his tongue with stiffening spray and it wouldn’t go back in his mouth. Other shows included like I mentioned The Wire, The Big C, The Office, and Luther which he won a Golden Globe for.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Peter Stormare

I have to apologize for not doing one of these for a really long time. Actually, no. I don’t. Hollywood needs to apologize for not having Bad Ass Mofos! You have no idea how far I need to dig just to find a tough guy in films or one that is just super compelling. While trolling the internets as I do I stumbled upon someone who manages to stand out and be memorable in any film he’s in no matter how small the part…Peter Stormare!

"Is she really trying to...? Yeah. Just shoot her."

Dude was born in Kumla, Närke, Sweden and I can only pronounce two of those three words. He started off doing dramatic theater doing Shakespeare and shit. People started to know who he was from movies like Fargo as the sleaze ball blonde and the nasty ass eye doctor in Minority Report. Apparently he was in The Lost World: Jurassic Park but I’ll be damned if I can recall that. I was too busy shitting myself thinking of scientist creating dinosaurs.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Benicio Del Toro

“Why? Everyone says, ‘Why isn’t he married?’ But it’s like, Fuck! Why do I have to get married? Just so I can get divorced?” Benicio Del Toro

One of the most stand out actors to come along in years along with being someone that men find creepy and love and who women find sexy and love, Benicio Del Toro is this weeks Bad Ass Mofo. Not just because of his strange ass roles in Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas, Snatch, or even in Wolfman where he didn‘t even have to wear makeup. But because he has hair that just won’t quit! Its like his costar in every film he’s ever made.

Bad Ass Mofo: Jeff Goldblum

“I’m watching everybody, but I care mostly about me. So, I’m watching and thinking, ‘Good, Jeff. That's nice, Jeff. Yes, Jeff, go for it. Oh, yes, Jeff.’” Jeff Goldblum

Every few decades an actor comes along that doesn’t quite fit into a box. An actor that you look at and say to yourself “I can totally do what he does!” But you cant. You know why? Because you’re not Jeff Goldblum. And you’re not this weeks Bad Ass Mofo! This guy has been the strange yet awesome guy in many films and shows no signs of slowing down.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Robert Downey Jr.

“I've noticed that worrying is like praying for what you don't want to happen. I don't worry, but I observe where my mind tends to go.” Robert Downey Jr.

I know its been a while since I posted one of these. What with my work situation, trying not to kill myself, and just plain old not knowing who the hell was bad enough to be a Bad Ass Mofo, I didn’t know what to do. But then I was watching Tropic Thunder and laughing so hard at Lincoln Osiris during commentary and then flipping through my channels and found a special about this weeks BAM that hit me like a bolt of lightning. I present to you…Robert Downey Jr.!

"Bad Ass Mofo": Liam Neeson

“I never did think of myself as handsome--terribly attractive, yes, but not handsome.” Liam Neeson

A few days ago while writing about the new film The Grey I wanted to link it to a Bad Ass Mofo starring Liam Neeson only to discover that I had never written one. What the fuck is my problem?! This guy should have been like the second one I did. But I didn’t and now I am checking under my bed. Not just because I’m scared of him, but because his cock is supposed to be so big that there’s a site dedicated to nothing but how big it is.

"Bad Ass Mofo": Tom Hardy

“I'm an actor, for fuck's sake. I'm an artist. I've played with anything and anyone.” Tom Hardy

I actually had to fight with myself to keep this weeks Bad Ass Mofo off the list. Tom Hardy is relatively young compared to guys that have been being awesome for years. Tom Hardy has managed to squeeze a whole lot of cool into a short amount of time so I kinda had to add him. Or he would hurt me. I’ve seen him do it even with one shoulder separated in Warrior. In this movie that many of you still haven’t seen you sons of bitches he is great. One thing about this guy, just like Gary Oldman, is that he looks different in almost every film. I’m not talking about haircuts or some nonsense which he has done. I’m talking about morphing into another fucking human being! In this and his other film Bronson he transformed himself into a BAM of epic proportions.