"Bad Mamma Jamma": Jenette Goldstein

“Let’s rock!!!” Vasquez Aliens

So tough that she makes men’s penises shrink in fear and lust. So bad that million of lesbians consider her a role model. So versatile that I actually thought she was a Latina. Jenette Goldstein is this weeks Bad Mamma Jamma. Her role as Pvt. Vasquez was super memorable for the way she looked, talked, and fought. How in the blue hell was she just a private? Maybe it just sounded cooler. Every image of Jenette that I could find made her look crazy or dangerous. When the majority of the pictures of you available have you holding a gun the size of you that is proof enough that you’re a BMJ. She was born a couple miles from me so that makes me even happier.

I didn’t even know this but she played the adoptive mother of John Conner. There’s a scene where The Terminator calls the house using the kids voice to check on the dog and it turns out that she’s killed it. Well, not really her because she’s dead but the T-1000 disguised as her. She can play cold roles very easily. There’s something about her eyes that says “You can take me home and we can do the dirty but I will be wearing parts of you in the morning.” This would stop me for about three seconds two of which will be spent wondering if I have to work the next day and the other asking if I would miss what she takes. In Near Dark she is barely recognizable as Diamondback. Yeah, that was her name. She had the perm from hell which doesn’t matter since she’s a vampire and can probably change it. I hope.

Don’t be fooled by her more popular roles. It turns out that I have seen her in other roles on TV where she shows her ability to be very versatile. I’m getting tired of saying that people should be more famous or popular than they are. Jenette Goldstein is known throughout the world for her badassness whether or not people even know that it’s the same actress playing the part. In Aliens next to her Ripley seemed calm when facing the queen alien. Need more proof of her cool she is? She’s survived working with Lance Henrikson, Bill Paxton, and Johnny Depp. This woman is unstoppable.