"Bad Ass Mofo": George Clooney

“Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties.” George Clooney

This weeks Bad Ass Mofo is George Clooney. I could just base that off of the few movies of his I saw this year. Known for being one of the sexiest men alive he still manages to win even when he isn’t in the running. Every woman wants to have sex with him whether they know it or not. Just the fact that I wrote that and you read it means even you now want to have sex with him. That goes for men too. Oh, come on! Like you wouldn’t want him to put it on your shoulder. We all fantasize about waking up with The Cloon bringing us juice and toast in bed. But no bacon since he owned a pig for 18 years that died and that would be insensitive. Growing up he was on television with his father who was a broadcaster. Wanna see George as a kid?

This is reality! This is why you don’t talk shit to the weird, ugly, or nerdy kid! They grow up and look like George Clooney. Sometimes. Other times they grow up and look like me. No one could’ve expected Clooney to be this kid and grow up to look the way he does. Oh god. This is turning into a male Fap File and that is not cool. Wanting to be n movies Clooney ended up sleeping in his friends closet until he could support himself. He was once married for a few years but has vowed never to do it again. I applaud this decision. He has also said that he will never have children. Can we elect him for Leader Of Erf? And have you ever heard an interview with him? He's so damned cool without even trying. I guess I would be cool as well if I spent all my nerd points during my childhood. Oh, wait. I did. I totally spent all my nerd points as a child and then for whatever reason some cruel god gave me a 1Up.

Some of my favorite shows (Facts Of Life, Roseanne) and movies (O Brother Where Art Thou?, The Ides of March, Three Kings, The Descendants, Ocean’s 11, Michael Clayton, Out Of Sight, From Dusk Til Dawn, The Men Who Stare At Goats). He even started a damned haircut from his role on ER. He is currently dating one of the hottest women on the planet Stacy Kiebler. Don’t know who she is? Look her up but remove your pants first. You don’t want them to tear or burst into flames. One of the few attractive men that can do comedy, action, and drama without coming off like he’s pretending. This weeks BAM George Clooney is an American treasure.