Alec Baldwin was kicked off a plane for not turning his goddamn cell phone off. Good. He said he was gonna leave the country when Bush won a second term. Guess he wont be flying out.
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are still banging. Mmm! You can taste the DiCaprio!
Dr. Drew got Octomom free internet, help for a year, and a years worth of cleaning service. Fuck both of them. Next time don’t have fourteen kids that you cant take care of. There are animals that don’t have that many children!
Michael Lohan is having heart surgery. Stupid science…
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are officially divorced. Gentlemen…keep your penises exactly where they are. She’s still not cute. And who the hell names their kid Bronx Mowgli?! Mean assholes.
Lindsay Lohan will preview her Playboy spread on Ellen next week. Three minutes later Ellen will announce that she is no longer attracted to women.
Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger from The X-Factor have gotten death threats since booting some 14 year old girl from the show. I thought she was like 35.
Bike builder Jesse James continues to make people like his sparkling personality by cheating on every woman he dates and calling Sandra Bullock “some Hollywood actress.” Doesn’t he have someone that works for him that says “Dude, shut the fuck up.”
Snowboarder Shaun White has leaked nude photos. Don’t look at these without sunglasses!
Brooke Mueller, Charlie Sheen’s ex wife, was arrested for cocaine possession and assault. This isn’t even news. This is a weekday for her.
Jwoww from The Jersey Shore has a new perfume. I imagine it smells like grease, beef, and beer battered vagina.
Terrance Howard who was once known for acting good an’ shit is in trouble! His ex wife claims he hit her. The bastard! She is fucking hot. Here are some of the things he allegedly did. Chipping her tooth with his wedding ring while hitting her, knocking her to the ground, and threatening to kill her. If they draw Don Cheadle in court sketches I will laugh my ass off.
And for no reason Gwen Stefani!
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