Lindsay Lohan has breezed through her monkey ass probation hearing with flying colors. I assume she saw colors since she’s a crackhead. In other Lindsay news, she went to Hawaii and had her purse stolen. They took $10,000 cash but left her passport, probation papers, and - wait a fucking second. Who walks around with $10,000 cash?! Oh, people buying drugs or people who just sold drugs. It all makes sense now. And she also missed her plane which would have brought her from Hawaii to the Ellen Show to promote her upcoming Playboy shoot. Ass.
Rapist (allegedly) Kobe Bryant wants everyone to stop blaming Khloe Kardashian for Lamar Odom leaving the Lakers. We’ll draw our own conclusions, sir. I’ll blame that damned family for Wall Street if I feel like it. You focus on not buggering chubby White girls.
Tyra Banks is on a spiritual retreat after her breakup. I don’t know what else to say.
Clint Eastwood’s wife and daughters are filming a reality show. E!, have you no shame? If he appeared every episode and just fired shots in the air I would watch.
Some lunatic that is stalking Selena Gomez aka Justin Bieber’s beard says that she needs a restraining order from him. But still the judge disagrees. What the hell…?
The daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore named Scout is growing up into an unfortunate looking woman. Bless her heart. She looks so much like her father.
Angelina Jolie is teasing having another child. Stop.
Weight Watchers and Jessica Simpson have signed a deal for $3 million for her weight loss after she has her baby. Fuck me. This is not fair to people who are god given fat and have to lose weight. She’ll give up like 10lbs. just from giving berf.
And for no reason Hayden Panettiere!
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